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Career Officer
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 3,929
# 87
04-20-2013, 02:09 PM
@ryan218 - interesting story, but I think it would be more effective and more readable if you eschewed the screenplay-style and just wrote the action and dialogue out in a more natural third-person format. At any rate, the line about duty to the people superseding loyalty to the Empire struck me as particularly poignant.

@superhombre777 - very nice little piece! I liked the way you set up your character. A bit cliched, perhaps (a research engineer fully absorbed in his work) but the stereotype is certainly accurate enough. But I really enjoyed your unknown operative. (Was he working for the Tal Shiar? Or for someone else entirely?) The ending was a little abrupt, but an enjoyable entry overall.