fed only war is at wolf359system near the sol system and secound one i can't formember
Ok well before my connection to Tribble when kaput during your mission, I'll make a few comments. Please don't take them in the wrong way. Apparently, I can be a little harsh during my reviews, though I mean well.
I only got through the first few minutes of your mission (I think the object marker said to board an enemy station) but I definitely get the feeling your mission is a little "undercooked". What I mean by this is that certain things haven't been filled in, like the names of the cruisers. If you don't fill in the box labeled, "Contact" (I think it is I'm not a 100% sure since "create-a-mission" is down), then they'll appear as "Alien Cruiser" or that costumes for whomever is talking on the ships haven't been created yet. (It makes me think missions are incomplete when this happens I'm not sure if this is a standard for people across the board) If you don't know how to do this, you just create a costume (it's the last tab on the left) and when you're done you go back to your map select the NPC contact and that the costume you created as their person costume (it's the second pull down bar I think when you have the contact selected) .
As for what I saw of your story, I feel like that's a little blank. It's a lot of one liners, so I feel like you could develop something better than what is present.
Anyways, it just needs some more work, a little elbow grease and a bit of love and I think it can turn into a pretty good mission. I'll definitely be up for helping you through the process if you feel like you need the help.
I won't hold you to it, but feel free to check out my mission. I like to believe I've rounded it out as best as I could. Though I'm always looking for more feedback on dents I should bang out.