I usually work nights.....so Im up till the wee hours of the morning anyway.
My driver and myself worked in this business next to a field where sea birds would nest in the summer. On the opposite side of the field was a cheap hotel. In the back of the field is a 4X4 off road/trail that big custom trucks would get stuck in the mud on a regular basis in their attempt to go down the trail to the hotel which connects to a major through way.
Now picture it.....5 AM, the sun is high in the sky because in Alaska in the summer the sun never really truly goes down.
My driver and I are smoking cigerettes and BS'ing about this and that...when what to our wondering eyes did appear?
But a call girl dressed in fishnet stockings, a mini skirt, and a low cut blouse with the whole hooker theme going on. She was also wearing high heels BTW. Anyhoo, she is walking along this muddy trail constantly loosing her footing next to this huge field where the sea birds nest.
Next thing you know the sea birds start dive bombing her because she is walking too close to the nest area. it's 5 AM and quiet until this point where she starts waving her arms wildly and cussing like a sailor for the entire time she is walking along this trail....about 100 yards or so.
By the time she gets to where im working she looks like she slept under a bus and smells of bird doo. Her hair is a mess and she walks in like nothing happened and buys the weirdest items from our little shop thats open to the public next to our business. She purchases new stockings, chewing gum, twinkies, lip balm, Q-tips, a diet coke, and a jar of peanut butter.
At this point it is obvious she has broken one of her heels and messed up her attire just to shave minutes by walking through this trail rather than using a sidewalk adjacent to the field (where there are no birds).
10 minutes later a white Lincoln Town car pulls up with obnoxious white wall tires and tinted windows. A short bald african guy in a fur coat with an eye patch and a cane gets out of the car (her pimp) and starts cussing at her to get in the car. Then speeds off. A fur coat? Did I mention it was summer?
Funniest dam thing I ever saw........He glared at me while I was laughing and I gave him the finger on his way out.
