Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 1 Own Worst Enemy
09-02-2011, 02:33 AM
Hello all, I posted another mission last night and I thought I would make a thread here about it in case anyone has any thoughts on it.

Own Worst Enemy
Lv 41+ (Required... don't play this one teamed with a lower ranked friend!)
Starfleet
ST-HJ7N65ZCI
Starting location: Tazi System, Sirius Sector Block


Teaser:
Starfleet has a plan to take the fight to the Borg. Your ship has been ordered to Tazi Station in order to get properly outfitted for the mission.
Things get complicated as a new opponent arrives to make things go awry, and your crew quickly discovers that the man obstacle to completing the mission is none other than themselves.


I tried to do some interesting things with dialog spawns that I was afraid of having turned out rather clunky. I'm curious to see what people think about it.

Any feedback at all is greatly appreciated.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 2
09-03-2011, 01:02 PM
Absolutely fantastic, among the best I have played - the plot had me completely hooked! The transwarp effect was brilliant and I'm guessing you use the passcode to make the ship match possible.

Only thing I would say is when some of the enemy ships spawn they could use more clearance from the space objects as they tend to get stuck on them easily. But other than that, it played flawlessly.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 3
09-03-2011, 02:13 PM
Hey thanks Stylsy!

I've made a couple tweaks today - some people were getting stuck on the far side of the engineering lockdown, so I moved the object interact for that. I also moved the borg ship spawn a little farther back so hopefully it won't get stuck on debris.

Thanks for the feedback!
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
Below I've broken my evaluation down based on each map of the mission with the exception of the summary at the bottom.

--------Review------------

Mission Statement: Clear and well written.

Mission Task: Clear and good directions.

Mission Entry Prompt: Very good. Well written.

Tazi System Base: Map design is quite good. Dialog drove the story.

Transwarp Gate: Good map design, dialog and well written. The transwarp effect was very good. One glitch I noted when dropping from transwarp. If you read the entire dialog in that sequence you end up fighting the Mirror Victory before you have hailed it. This happens because unlike a map transition you are still moving after deceleration. I donít think you can do anything about that. I started coming to a full stop to read all dialog before continuing.

Mirror Image Ship Engineering Deck: Great job. Well written and excellent map design.

Mirror Transwarp Gate: Good job. Good map design and writing.

First Borg Space: Well done on the map design and the story. Noted a dialog spelling error; "Borg planted detected" should read "Borg planet detected". Also the alternate universe ship is named "Mirror Image". Was that intended?

Borgified Mirror Ship: This was very well written. You drew me even further into the story when you had my character take on the task of performing the surgery on the crewman. Great sentiment created with that whole segment. You had me at ďmy crewĒ. Good map design as always.

Second Borg Space: The writing on this portion was good as previous. Good battle and map design. There was a little execution problem with the transwarp engagement. It seemed to stick so I circled back around and entered the area again and it gave me the go prompt. I think the issue was I was already heading through the gate at the execution and it didnít trigger the reach point because I was already in it when it appeared. Iíve seen this same thing in other work including my own. I suspect that is a limitation of the Foundry and nothing you did. The only work around I have found works is to move the reach point slightly further away Great work!

Return To The Alpha Quadrant: Good ending. You brought the story back around full circle. Great job!

Summary: Great work. The writing, map design, mission tasks, battles and overall story drew me in making me want to go further. You did an outstanding job with this mission. Keep up the great work. I look forward to playing more of your missions.

-------------------------------------
Thanks for authoring
Brian
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 5
09-10-2011, 02:58 AM
I just completed this mission 5 minutes ago. I consider the way you generated our 'mirror' ship one of the most creative uses of dialog trees and it must have taken a ton of work.

Story wise it was quite good. I noticed a few small text issues. Unfortunately I forgot to make note of where they were. I remember a spot or two where a word was repeated or a word was omitted. It was easy to tell what you meant though, so it didn't hurt the story.

One part that somewhat confused was how we were to meet up with Battle Force Omega to get home from the Delta quadrant.

I would be curious on how Omega got there? Omega is usually stationed in Gamma Orionis. Gamma Orinous is a Federation Sector Block in the Beta Quadrant that the Borg have gotten a foot hold in.

Its not really a major issue; but it is something you may want to keep in mind the next time you do any major editing of the mission. But even if you don't edit that, its still an excellent mission.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 6
09-11-2011, 12:37 AM
First off, thanks for the in depth review, I really appreciate stuff like this. Let me respond to a few specific points.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Evil70th
If you read the entire dialog in that sequence you end up fighting the Mirror Victory before you have hailed it.
Actually, I have it set up so that there are invisible walls around the Victory so it does not attack until that dialog is completed. Did it not occur this way?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Evil70th
Noted a dialog spelling error; "Borg planted detected" should read "Borg planet detected". Also the alternate universe ship is named "Mirror Image". Was that intended?
Nice catch on that spelling error, I'll have to take a look at that. As for "mirror image", that was the best way I could think to handle that. Through those dialog triggers I could make visual duplicates of the player ship but not the actual name duplication, so I had to name them something that would be as easy to identify as possible to the mirror version of the player ship. Same goes for when this occurs later.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Evil70th
There was a little execution problem with the transwarp engagement. It seemed to stick so I circled back around and entered the area again and it gave me the go prompt. I think the issue was I was already heading through the gate at the execution and it didnít trigger the reach point because I was already in it when it appeared. Iíve seen this same thing in other work including my own. I suspect that is a limitation of the Foundry and nothing you did. The only work around I have found works is to move the reach point slightly further away
Yeah, I've seen this happen - unfortunately with the way full impulse and other mechanics works its difficult to get around this without reworking the objective so it's an object interact instead. Do you think it's serious enough to change?

Overall, thanks for the feedback!

Also, @jrs7200:

Quote:
Originally Posted by jrs7200
I would be curious on how Omega got there? Omega is usually stationed in Gamma Orionis. Gamma Orinous is a Federation Sector Block in the Beta Quadrant that the Borg have gotten a foot hold in.
You know, that's funny, I was under the impression this whole time that the gate actually lead to Borg space in the Delta Quadrant. I realize the galaxy map should have clued that in a bit more, but to me that's where Borg space is so that's where I equated Gamma Orionis to actually be. Now that I think about it you may be right... it might require a minor plot rewrite perhaps... not sure how many other people catch this though.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 7
09-11-2011, 01:04 AM
I figure detailed feedback is always a good thing.

Quote:
Originally Posted by RogueEnterprise View Post
Actually, I have it set up so that there are invisible walls around the Victory so it does not attack until that dialog is completed. Did it not occur this way?
I think it was because I was continuing forward while reading. The attack started before I had a chance to hail the Victory. It didn't really detract from the mission anyway. I only noticed it when I finished destroying it the dialog popped up.

Quote:
Originally Posted by RogueEnterprise View Post
As for "mirror image", that was the best way I could think to handle that. Through those dialog triggers I could make visual duplicates of the player ship but not the actual name duplication, so I had to name them something that would be as easy to identify as possible to the mirror version of the player ship. Same goes for when this occurs later.
Got it. Now that makes sense. I suspected it was a limitation of the Foundry.

Quote:
Originally Posted by RogueEnterprise View Post
Yeah, I've seen this happen - unfortunately with the way full impulse and other mechanics works its difficult to get around this without reworking the objective so it's an object interact instead. Do you think it's serious enough to change?
Not reallyserious enough to have to rework it. I thought it was cool that when it triggers and you go through the gate. The effects you gave it were spot on. You did a great job authoring the whole mission.

Thanks.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 8
09-11-2011, 02:55 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by RogueEnterprise View Post
You know, that's funny, I was under the impression this whole time that the gate actually lead to Borg space in the Delta Quadrant. I realize the galaxy map should have clued that in a bit more, but to me that's where Borg space is so that's where I equated Gamma Orionis to actually be. Now that I think about it you may be right... it might require a minor plot rewrite perhaps... not sure how many other people catch this though.
What few systems in that block that do appear in the shows were use once and forget systems. I think Cestus and Kessik sytems are the only ones that got mentioned multiple times. The first being the planet from the Gorn episode of TOS and mentioned in DS9 ; the second being the Fed colony that Torres grew up on. To be honest, the only reason I even know that much was because I recently decided to create a foundry mission and did a Memory Alpha search on any system I was thinking of using. So I imagine that even without any story edits, most people will not notice.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 9
09-11-2011, 02:57 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by RogueEnterprise View Post

You know, that's funny, I was under the impression this whole time that the gate actually lead to Borg space in the Delta Quadrant. I realize the galaxy map should have clued that in a bit more, but to me that's where Borg space is so that's where I equated Gamma Orionis to actually be. Now that I think about it you may be right... it might require a minor plot rewrite perhaps... not sure how many other people catch this though.
i noticed that as well, but i sort of realised what you did (as you are not the first to make that mistake) and let it slide.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 10
09-14-2011, 07:06 PM
I played your mission yesterday and I really liked it. I rated it five stars in the game. I thought how you selected our mirror image ship was very clever. It was kind of interesting seeing the different variations of the ship across different universes.

I did notice a few typos/issues:
1) Dreadnought was misspelled as Dreadnaught for the Galaxy-X.

2) When I fought the Borg group in the transwarp conduit, I was playing on Elite and two groups spawned on top of me before I knew what was happening, and I got blown up. I then respawned outsided the conduit and had a hard time getting back in. It might be better if you could space out those groups a bit more so you don't run such a high risk of fighting both at once, because on the harder difficulties two groups can kick your ***, especially if you aren't prepared for them. Moving the respawn point back inside the conduit also might be a good idea, as not everyone would be able to figure out have to get back in.

3) After entering the first Borg system, your BOff says something like "we've entered a system occupied by the Borg." and then in the next sentence says something like "We should be at least two light years away from the nearest Borg system." I understand what you're getting at, but maybe the first sentence should say sector instead?

4) When I destroyed the Borgified version of my ship, when it died it was replaced by a Borg cube. I guess this is part of the destruction animation for the Borg Battleship. Maybe if you replaced it with a Borg Cruiser instead (Sphere) this wouldn't happen?

5) I wrote some other note down here that says "temp P.D." but I can't remember what that stood for, LOL. So, apparently I noticed something else, but I forgot what it was. Oh well.

Anyway, overall I really enjoyed the mission. Well done, and keep up the good work!
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