Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
Hi,

As a Foundry mission author I know how much help it can be to have an outside evaluator give a fair and in depth critique of a mission. Currently I have recorded more than 20 of these reports for various forum entries here. In addition I have played and provided rating and short feedback reports on more than 40 community authored missions. Basically it never hurts to have another set of eyes look at your work. With that thought in mind I would like to offer you a fair and in depth mission evaluation report.

Some of the information you’ll need to provide me for the evaluation;

Mission Name: (Your Mission Title)
Author: (Your STO Site Name)
Minimum Level: (16+ or above)
Allegiance: (Federation/Klingon)
Project ID: ST-(ID Number)
Estimated Mission Length: (Time to complete)
Method of Report Delivery: (Forum Post/In Game email)

Once I acknowledge your report request I will immediately evaluate it and can provide the feedback in this posting or via in game email. Other methods may be available provided the requested method does not violate STO Term of Use Agreements.

A sample of the evaluation report is provided below;

---------- Example---------

(Allegiance) Mission - (Title)
Author: (Your Name)
Allegiance:
ST - (ID NUMBER)

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: I will provide an overall summary of the mission here.

Mission Description: I will provide an in depth evaluation and recommendations as needed.

Grant Mission Dialog: I will provide an in depth evaluation and recommendations as needed.

Mission Task: I will provide an in depth evaluation and recommendations as needed.

Mission Entry Prompt: I will provide an in depth evaluation and recommendations as needed.

MAPS:
YOUR MAP NAMES HERE: I will provide an in depth evaluation of each map design, playability and story dialog to include spelling and grammatical analysis.

---------End Report----------

I look forward to evaluating your missions.
Brian
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 2
10-17-2011, 06:57 AM
It looks like my mission has gathered a fair amount of attention at this point, so I don't know if any more promotion is absolutely necessary, but it never hurts to get more feedback. So I'll submit my mission for your consideration, with the caveat that it's a very text heavy mission, and also pretty long. Ok, maybe it's very long? If that's not your cup of tea, don't feel obligated to play through it. Also, if you get any other requests, please feel free to give them priority.

Mission Name: Dereliction Duty
Author: Nagorak
Minimum Level: 16+
Allegiance: Federation
ST-HAKXYCH4Y
Estimated Mission Length: 1-3 hours (highly variable depending on the optional dialogue)
Method of Report Delivery: Forum (I can handle the criticism)

Full forum post can be accessed by hitting the banner in my signature.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 3
10-17-2011, 05:05 PM
I'll take a look this evening.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nagorak View Post
Mission Name: Dereliction Duty
Author: Nagorak
Minimum Level: 16+
Allegiance: Federation
ST-HAKXYCH4Y
Estimated Mission Length: 1-3 hours (highly variable depending on the optional dialogue)
Method of Report Delivery: Forum (I can handle the criticism)
Federation Mission - Dereliction Duty
Author: Nagorak
Allegiance: Federation
ST-HAKXYCH4Y

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: This was one of the best missions I’ve played from the Foundry. Your use of space, objects and effects was phenomenal. The overall feel of each map along with the story dialog simply reached out and grabbed me. I hardly noticed how long I’d been playing. The characters you developed for this story where memorable as well as entertaining. I look forward to playing the follow up mission to see what will happen next. Simply put I loved your work!

Below are a few observations/recommendations for each phase of the mission including the maps.

Mission Description: Good description of both the details regarding length of the mission and the mission itself. This is a personal preference but I would put the actual description of the mission to be played up front with the length and other details at the end. Again that is my personal preference and has no bearing on how I feel about the mission as a whole.

Grant Mission Dialog: The dialog for both the grant mission and the subsequent dialog were very well done. It is the first thing that draws the player into the mission and this definitely did that for me.

Mission Task: Your inclusion of the location with the Map Text is quite good.

Mission Entry Prompt: Great dialog, perhaps change the button response to something more in line with the dialog. Some suggestions I have, "On my way", or "Entering the Draylon System now".

MAPS:
Draylonic Nebula: Great map design and very well written dialog. No spelling or grammatical errors found. Below are a few observations/recommendations for the dialog and/or map.
- Initial post entry dialog is good but I would suggest changing the button response to "Acknowledged" or something along those lines.
- The “Scan Strange Asteroid” dialog is good however as above I would suggest changing the button to "Acknowledged" or something along those lines that a Captain might say to a Bridge Officer.
- The “In Depth Scan” dialog is excellent. Even though this is optional dialog it is quite well written. As before the only thing I would suggest is making some of the button responses more like the Captain to a Bridge Officer.
- From this point forward I will not note the button responses unless I see a real problem with one.
- I really liked the entire optional dialog regarding the “Strange Asteroid”.
- Ship summary report contains a lot of detailed information that serves to draw me into the story. Of course I like a good detailed story. I know others will appreciate the skip dialog button as I’ve used those too and they seem popular from time to time.

U.S.S. Atlas Deck 13: Excellent map design and fantastic dialog. No spelling or grammatical errors found. Below are a few observations/recommendations for the dialog and/or map.
- One minor glitch I came across. Three out of four Bridge Officers get stuck in the ceiling of the passageway outside the transporter room. I think the issue was I paused as I went through the door and the bridge officers began to jump as they do to position themselves and got stuck. I don’t think there is anything you can do about this as it is a limitation when constructing custom maps. After trying several different maneuvers to get them free I exited the mission and reentered. Then I proceeded directly through the door of the transporter room into the hall without incident.
- I love the questioning from ***ami, it was very well done and the choices are well thought out. Once the briefing begins the Skip dialog button made me laugh out load. I didn’t click it but I loved it.

Interstellar Space: The entire warp through space effect looks great and I am glad you added the tip in the initial dialog. Although I knew I wasn’t moving to continue the mission not everyone would get that. The go to and drop from warp sequences along with the appearance of the objects was very well choreographed. No spelling or grammatical errors found. Below are a few observations/recommendations for the dialog and/or map.

Reid System: Again the warp sequence along with the drop from warp and appearance of the objects is very well done. The entire map design and dialog was outstanding. I really liked the “Easy Rider” dialog and the “Borg Queen” dialog made me laugh out loud. No spelling or grammatical errors found. Below are a few observations/recommendations for the dialog and/or map.
- The Binar code was great. Good work.
- As previously recommended the freighters are labeled as “Objects”. Perhaps give them the ships name or label them “derelict freighter” or something along those lines.
- From this point forward I will not note the objects labeling unless I see a real problem with one.
- I noted the ship that appears in a couple of the dialog windows is usually a Federation starship of one type or another. I would assume this is a limitation of the Foundry images available to use for this purpose.

Reid System, Planet X: The map design and dialog are excellent. You have mastered the skill of space utilization with your map design. No spelling or grammatical errors found. Below are a few observations/recommendations for the dialog and/or map.
- The dialog of the final dialog of the Ferrengi ships triggered after I went to warp. Was that intentional?

Pel Hosi Minor System: Simply a great map and use of space to drive the story. This was a good wrap up to the story. No spelling or grammatical errors found. Below are a few observations/recommendations for the dialog and/or map.
- The last dialog window in the questions for Gul Modran appears to be from Captain Ujarka but Gul Modran appears in the window.
- The choice of the Distress signal remains up even after the engagement of the Orion’s. Was this a ruse that leads to the attack?

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring. You did a great job and I truly look forward to playing the sequel.
Brian
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 5
10-18-2011, 03:04 AM
Hey there!

Thanks for your service. I'm still working on part 2 of my series. I am almost finsihed and I'm kind of waiting for one if my hands to heal to complete it.
I would be glad if you could give me a report about my part 1 so I have some more feedback. It's a rather old mission, though and doesn't use all features the Foundry has now.

Here it is:

Mission Name: ST-SSR, E01: "Black Boxes"
Author: Patarival
Minimum Level: 31+ (Captain)
Allegiance: Federation
ST-HSQZVQPI2
Estimated Mission Length: hard to say ... maybe 30 minutes?
Method of Report Delivery: Forum, please

Thanks a lot!

PS: English is not my first language. I apologize for typos and grammar mistakes.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 6
10-18-2011, 04:43 AM
I Would be honored if you could give my series a look as well. The final episode is in the construction phase and waiting to see if the bugs have been sorted out prior to publishing. Hopefully when it is ready I will be able to publish without any issues. Thanks for the service you do. Capt.PFDennis is a good friend and recommended I send you these, plus you were dead on with his Class Dismissed series. It is one of my favorite series. Forum Reports are fine as far as report delivery. I realized I don't have the ID #'s at the time I am posting this, but they are very easy to find missions in the main group under Top-Rated or search under my name.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Spawn of Medusa

"A new enemy, an unlikely ally, and a quadrant in peril."


* Spawn of Medusa
* Duke-of-Rock
* Any Level
* Federation
* Mission time: Approx. 1 hour
* Starting Location: Seedea System - Pi Canis Sector Block
* Easy Trek Trivia Puzzles in unlikely locations. (For newer players)
* Space and Ground Battles


Spawn of Medusa II - (Part II - Daughters of Medusa)

Part II is a strong story driven sequel to Spawn of Medusa. Learn more about the history of this new enemy to the alpha quadrant and beyond. Learn the truth of the Klingon link to the Medusik past.


* Spawn of Medusa II
* Duke-of-Rock
* Level: 16+
* Federation
* Mission time: Approx. 1 hour
* Starting Location: Wall Console Outside Main Transporter Room on Earth Space Dock (ESD).
* Medium Level Code-Driven Puzzles
* Space-Driven Battle
* Strong Storyline
* Unique Mission Within a Mission Objectives


Spawn of Medusa III - ( Part 3 - Break from Tradition )

With the Klingons losing ground to the Medusas and Medusa Hajora gaining ground in the outer edges of the Federation, Join Admiral Fedrikson on Sierra Outpost II and try to gain allies from a delegation of Federation enemies. The time to act is now or all may soon be lost.

* Spawn of Medusa III
* Duke-of-Rock
* Level: 16+
* Federation
* Mission time: Approx. 1 hour
* Starting Location: Sierra Outpost System - Alpha Centauri Sector Block
* Space and Ground Battles
* Prime Numbers Puzzle
* Dialogue Rich Storyline.


Spawn of Medusa IV - (Part IV - The Awakening)

"As you prepare for a scientific commission to join you on Julip Prime to study the ruins recently discovered, you are hailed by Admiral Fedrikson and ordered to immediately divert to the newly rebuilt Argus Array. It has been monitoring the Medusik's fleet movements and has stopped transmitting. Who and what you find will lead you on an unexpected adventure to solve one of Earth's greatest mysteries and prepare you for the final showdown rapidly approaching with a new ally against the evil Medusa Frow and her remaining 5 daughters."


* Spawn of Medusa IV
* Duke-of-Rock
* Level: 16+
* Federation
* Starting Location: Wall Console Outside Main Transporter Room on Earth Space Dock (ESD).
* Mission Time: A little over an hour in length
* Heavy Story Driven Mission with Diplomatic Implications.
* Medium Difficulty Coded puzzle.
* Very Little Combat.
* Unique Maps and locations.


http://starbaseugc.com/index.php/unc...the-awakening/
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 7
10-18-2011, 04:05 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Duke-of-Rock View Post
I Would be honored if you could give my series a look as well. The final episode is in the construction phase and waiting to see if the bugs have been sorted out prior to publishing. Hopefully when it is ready I will be able to publish without any issues. Thanks for the service you do. Capt.PFDennis is a good friend and recommended I send you these, plus you were dead on with his Class Dismissed series. It is one of my favorite series. Forum Reports are fine as far as report delivery. I realized I don't have the ID #'s at the time I am posting this, but they are very easy to find missions in the main group under Top-Rated or search under my name.
Thanks for the compliment and confidence expressed in my reports and thanks to Capt.PFDennis for his recommendation. I really enjoyed that series too.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Duke-of-Rock View Post
Spawn of Medusa

"A new enemy, an unlikely ally, and a quadrant in peril."


* Spawn of Medusa
* Duke-of-Rock
* Any Level
* Federation
* Mission time: Approx. 1 hour
* Starting Location: Seedea System - Pi Canis Sector Block
* Easy Trek Trivia Puzzles in unlikely locations. (For newer players)
* Space and Ground Battles
I will provide you with reports on each of your missions separately starting with "Spawn of Medusa" this evening and I’ll get the report up as soon as possible. I will also try to get to the rest this evening as well if time permits. If not I'll do those missions over the next couple of nights.

Thanks again for providing me with the information for your mission.
Brian
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 8
10-18-2011, 10:31 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Evil70th
I will provide you with reports on each of your missions separately starting with "Spawn of Medusa" this evening and I’ll get the report up as soon as possible. I will also try to get to the rest this evening as well if time permits. If not I'll do those missions over the next couple of nights.
Sorry I went really late on another mission I was reviewing. I won't be able to get to "Spawn of Medusa" tonight, but it is first on my list tomorrow.

Thanks
Brian
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
Quote:
Originally Posted by Duke-of-Rock View Post
Spawn of Medusa
"A new enemy, an unlikely ally, and a quadrant in peril."
* Spawn of Medusa
* Duke-of-Rock
* Any Level
* Federation
* Mission time: Approx. 1 hour
* Starting Location: Seedea System - Pi Canis Sector Block
* Easy Trek Trivia Puzzles in unlikely locations. (For newer players)
* Space and Ground Battles
Federation Mission - Spawn of Medusa
Author: Duke-of-Rock
Allegiance: Federation
ST-HCQTJBEGJ

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: You did an amazing job of writing and map design. Your dialog drew me into the mission and held my attention throughout. The maps you designed were quite simply excellent. They blended with the story dialog to make you want to know and see more.

I noted a few map issues below in the catacombs and imperial chamber. I suspect the issues with away team members getting stuck here and there is a map pathing issue within the Foundry for those particular base maps you used and not something you can control. Fortunately none of the away team was really needed beyond a certain point for fighting.

Below are a few things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you please.

Mission Description: Very well written and the notes are helpful. Perhaps change the notes to the [OOC] to distinguish them from the regular mission description.

Grant Mission Dialog: Straight forward dialog with clear directions on where to go to begin.

Mission Task: Very clear and concise tasking.

Mission Entry Prompt: Good dialog, perhaps change the button to something in response to the announcement of the arrival at the Seedea system.

MAPS:
Seedea System: The map was excellent and the dialog drove the story quite well. I noted the following items to consider changing:
-Admiral Fedrikson dialog: "to this situation" should be "in this situation".
-You were not kidding when you said it would be easy even if you haven’t played the other mission. Well done, I laughed out loud.
-Third question; "and helped you crew" should read "and helped your crew".

Medusik System: Great map design and the dialog perfect. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors.

I.K.S. Bleeding Sun: The map design for this was excellent and the dialog was very well written and drove the story. I really liked the simple questions to initiate the halon system. I noted the following items to consider changing:
-Klingon Engineer dialog: "help stabilize to warp core" should read "help stabilize the warp core".
-"disabled by the console" should read "disabled at the console"
-Halon System Code dialog prior to the second question; "Then next correct" should be "The next correct".
-Post stabilization of the warp core, assist the doctor dialog; perhaps change the button from “Continue” to “Acknowledged” or something along those lines.
-Not an issue just a suggestion: If it makes sense, since we are in engineering you might be able to replace the injured engineer outside with her standing near the outer console or something and saying “thanks” or something like that.
Warning of approaching ships dialog; suggest changing the "Continue" button to "Acknowledged" or something along those lines.

Medusik System Battle: This map was very well designed and the battle was fantastic. I noted the following items to consider changing:
-Post battle beam down dialog; "That is the last" should be "That was the last".
-Consider changing "We are however, picking up a lone Klingon female appearing to be injured in the forest away from the colony" to read "We are however, picking up a lone Klingon female in the forest away from the colony. She appears to be injured."
-"learn of" should read "learn about"

Medusik Prime: This is a great map with the setup of the colony and the battles along with the dialog. I noted the following items to consider changing:
-Ruin entry question dialog; "There is the question" should read "There is a question".
-Second Question dialog; "What class ship" should read "What class of ship".

Ancient Medusik Catacombs: The overall story dialog and map design was very good. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors on this map. You may have already received this from other players but the mini map and regular map do not show any features other than my crew, bad guys, information NPC’s and task circles. There is also a bug of some kind that appears to take two of my away team and place them in the rock covering the device in the third chamber. I don’t think this is anything that you can control. It must be a bug in this particular maps pathing.

Medusik Imperial Chamber: The map here is a very impressive one despite the issues with pathing. You obviously spent a great deal of time designing this particular map. The steam to obscure the two Klingon officers while they appear outside of the cages was well done. I noted the following items to consider changing:
-One of my Bridge Officers materialized inside one of the generators next to the spawn point. Again I think this is a map pathing issue.
-Post Tactical Vessel console dialog; Consider changing "The only information we need now is to know how many Klingon vessels were captured." to read "The only information we need to know now, is how many Klingon vessels were captured."
-Captain T'Kowr dialog; "that survived was incapable" should read "that survived were incapable".
-Medusa Frow dialog; "had the weapon technology" should read "had the weapons technology".
-Suggested response button to her last taunt; “We shall see.”
-Suggested response button to the pattern enhancer suggestion; “Excellent idea.”

Medusik System Escape: Great battle and dialog setup. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors on this map.

Seedea System#2: This was an excellent conclusion to this mission. Your dialog was very well written. I noted the following item to consider changing:
-Captain T'Kowr dialog: Consider changing "I trust in their ability to express my concerns about the Medusik." to read "I trust my concerns about the Medusik will be appropriately expressed.”

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. I will evaluate the remaining three missions over the next couple of nights and hopefully wrap up the series by Friday night. I am looking forward to playing the rest of the series to see where this goes. You’ve got me hooked.
Brian
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
Quote:
Originally Posted by Duke-of-Rock View Post
Spawn of Medusa II - (Part II - Daughters of Medusa)
Part II is a strong story driven sequel to Spawn of Medusa. Learn more about the history of this new enemy to the alpha quadrant and beyond. Learn the truth of the Klingon link to the Medusik past.
* Spawn of Medusa II
* Duke-of-Rock
* Level: 16+
* Federation
* Mission time: Approx. 1 hour
* Starting Location: Wall Console Outside Main Transporter Room on Earth Space Dock (ESD).
* Medium Level Code-Driven Puzzles
* Space-Driven Battle
* Strong Storyline
* Unique Mission Within a Mission Objectives

Federation Mission - Spawn of Medusa II
Author: Duke-of-Rock
Allegiance: Federation
ST- HNNHIVXZD

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: This was an outstanding sequel to the first mission. The story drove and I was happily along for the ride. You use of dialog and puzzles to solve was excellent. The map setup and design was also excellent. They were so well put together I noted only a few items that have recommendations for. This whole mission is a worthy follow on to your previous mission.

Below are a few items I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you please.

Mission Description: Good write up for the mission.

Grant Mission Dialog: Your mission description had the location where to start but you should add it to the Grant Mission Dialog to ensure the player knows where to go.

Mission Task: For at least the initial start custom map this should also have the location of where to start the mission.

Mission Entry Prompt: Nice simple prompt. Consider changing the entry point to one of the doors on ESD.

MAPS:
Starfleet Conference Auditorium: Great map design and the story dialog is well written. I noted the following items to consider changing:
-Perhaps consider having the player enter from the door where the head of security is already standing. He can then challenge the player and skip the other security officer who doesn't appear to be needed for the story.
-Mok'Ta dialog; "as well as the preserving" should read "as well as preserving"
-Federation President dialog; He refers to my rank and first name.

Sol System: Good map design.

Pentax System: The map design looks great and the dialog drove the story. I noted the following item to consider changing:
-Post system scan dialog; consider changing "field of debris" to read "debris field"

U.S.S. Crazy Horse Bridge: This map had great dialog and a good investigation style part of the mission. I noted the following items to consider changing:
-The first officer is sitting way forward on the chair and his right arm is through the chair console.
-First Officer dialog; consider changing "is in a medical bay" to read "is in sickbay"
-Consider changing "Commander Gax will know the order of the repairs if they are to be done successfully." to read "Commander Gax will know what repairs need to be done."
-Consider changing "Our main Medical Bay was destroyed by the attack" to read "Our main sickbay was destroyed in the attack".

Shuttle Deck: This is a well designed map with good dialog. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors and only have one recommendation to add:
-When I read some of the reviews before playing the mission I noted one person said they lowered your marks because there weren’t enough fires, smoke, plasma leaks and dead bodies to make it look as if they had been in a fierce battle. With that in mind I think you should add a few more bodies and maybe some more smoke and flames. Of course I also realize that the more effects you add the more intense the CPU usage of the player. So it is up to you.

Engineering Deck: This map is excellent and I thought the medical bay was particularly well done. The dialog was well written and drove the story. I noted the following items to consider changing:
-Bridge Tactical Officer dialog; consider changing "to the shuttle pilot" to read "with the shuttle pilot".
-Post dilithium leak dialog; consider changing "full Warp core Breach" to read "full warp core breach".

Pentax III: The map design was outstanding and I liked the effects. Excellent story dialog as well. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors on this map and had only the one issue:
-A couple of my crew got stuck in some of the ruins as we maneuvered to avoid the animals. Otherwise a great map.

Pentax System#2: This map was well put together and the battle was good. The dialog was great and drove the story to a good end point for this part of the mission. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors on this map or issues with any of the features of the map.

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. This mission was very well done and I look forward to the next two missions.
Brian
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