When I graduated from the Academy, what I wanted was a nice, big cruiser with nice personal staterooms offering all the amenities befitting a Starfleet Officer. When I heard of my impending assignment to shipboard duty, I was glad to finally have a chance to explore the universe. I imagined I'd make friends aboard my first ship and that We'd enjoy some hot cocoa and friendly chat in the crew lounge. That is what I wanted.
What I got was a Sao Paulo class escort assigned to Alpha Squadron, a front-line combat fleet currently engaged in operations against the Klingons. This ship has Huge, thunderous Phaser cannons, and small cramped living quarters. The ship is tiny. The crew is gruff and vulgar at times. Everything aboard the ship is either scorched, or patched or hastily repaired. The turbolift is constantly off-line because the ship is frequently at battle stations. I am so tired of deck-to-deck ladders, hatches, tight passageways and manual operation of almost everything.
In spite of these conditions, I have made some good friends here, but three of them have already fallen in combat against the Klingons.
We have no hot cocoa in the crew lounge on the USS Boxer. We have bitter coffee, swearing and occasional plasma fires on the bridge instead.
We don't do much exploring, unless EVA ship repairs and uncivilized drinking at Drozana Station counts for it.
The officer in charge of our Weapons department is an absolute Andorian tyrant named LCDR Zhukarak du Yutmakiat Shulkee.
LCDR Zhukarak is a violent, war-mongering curse. When I asked him if he would allow me to attempt peaceful negotiations during a recent Klingon encounter, he dismissed me from the bridge. He shouted at me, telling me not to return until I had located and attached some human male genitalia to myself. Vulgarity.
This ship stinks from plasma fires and damage-control replicators.
Because I rarely share anything these forums. Too many forum snobs.
I hope you don't count me as one of them despite my question.
Originally Posted by craigroden
It didn't even occur to me to put the post in one of those forums. Maybe a mod will move or delete it.
Absolutely no need to delete it IMO.
It's an interesting read.
It reminds of a First Contact review I once saw where the reviewer gave a few comments about the possible frustrations of the lower decks-crew of the Enterprise at the prospect of fighting the Borg.
And of the helmsman of the Defiant when Worf ordered to ram the Borg cube.
"I just wanted to be a botanist!".
We all have to do things we don't like here in Starfleet. Do you think I wanted to be a patsy for the Undine? I certainly didn't want to be known as the Admiral who let the greatest threat to the Federation infiltrate our organizations to the point where one in every ten Admiral on Earth was an alien shapeshifter. I certainly didn't want to be the man who would risk Federation principles in order to stand by our most stalwart ally. Hell, I'd sooner go to war with the Klingons rather than help them eliminate the Undine.
I know it seems counterproductive but... principles dammit!
The fact is that as a Starfleet officer we all have to take roles that we are uncomfortable with. I was trained as a tactical officer. Do you think I wanted to chart gaseous anomalies all day when I was a junior Lieutenant? No, but that's exactly what Captain Picard had me do day in and day out between those insipid classical recitals and poetry readings.
Remeber that you serve Starfleet. Starfleet does not serve you. Just like in my day when Starfleet needed tea sipping sensor console jockeys going about their duties with a jaunty Gilbert and Sullivan song and dance number, so too in this day and age Starfleet needs people with a little more backbone and a lot more violent disposition. You go where Starfleet needs you to go. You do what Starfleet needs you to do. That is life as a Starfleet officer.
So suck it up. Grow a pair. Or you'll be demoted to Chief Quantum Torpedo in your next engagement.
P.S. Thank you for your glowing recommendation of Lieutenant Commander Zhukarak. I will be sure that he gets properly commendated and promoted.
OOC: *L* I don't care where this thread goes. It's entertaining!
Last edited by onenonlydrock; 09-28-2012 at 11:23 AM.
Because I rarely share anything these forums. Too many forum snobs. It didn't even occur to me to put the post in one of those forums. Maybe a mod will move or delete it.
I'll have to agree... thread moved.
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Just a word of advice. Stat away from the air locks for a while. It seems that there is a tendency for them to fail when you get close to then. Also, don't forget to pick up your quick fix kit of chain block and tackles, cases of super glue, crates of bungee cords, drum of Frebreez , and the large box of those pine tree air fresheners.