Survivor of Romulus
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 87
# 1 No Prize for Second Contact
02-19-2013, 01:35 AM
Mission Name: No Prize for Second Contact
Author: Contactpsi
Minimum Level: 16+
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HP6UPGBS6
Estimated Mission Length: 25-35 min


ACT I of III

When a first contact mission is threatened by intergalactic conflict, you and your crew are called upon by Starfleet Command to take over and investigate. Intelligence reports indicate that the Tal Shiar have been interested in the Heservat, a soon to be warp-capable species.

As one of Starfleet's most capable and accomplished Captains, you must use your keen diplomatic mind and decisive tactics to secure a peaceful and prosperous place for the Heservat among the stars.

--- I'm looking for reviews, any are appreciated!

Last edited by councilspectre; 02-19-2013 at 01:36 PM.
Survivor of Romulus
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 87
# 2
02-22-2013, 03:01 PM
Hi all,

I've received some more in-game reviews. Thank you! I'm looking forward to more feedback so that I can make the next Act (and my other planned missions) enjoyable for all.

Thanks!
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,151
# 3
02-22-2013, 08:50 PM
Just played this mission. Very well written and layed out. It's a diplomatic mission, but still has plenty of action.
I love nice long walks in the country.
Especially if they're taken by people who annoy me!
Ar ais olc leis an doer olc
Lieutenant
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 67
# 4
02-24-2013, 09:05 AM
Really enjoyed it, just two things, I couldn't find the report to read it, and on the final map you spawn on the table.But otherwise it was excellent.
http://sto-forum.perfectworld.com/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=34676144000&dateline=  1356220537
Survivor of Romulus
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 87
# 5
02-24-2013, 01:41 PM
Thank you both for the feedback! I really appreciate it.
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 752
Quote:
Originally Posted by councilspectre View Post
Mission Name: No Prize for Second Contact
Author: Contactpsi
Minimum Level: 16+
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HP6UPGBS6
Estimated Mission Length: 25-35 min

A mission review would be fantastic. This is my first foundry mission.
Federation Mission - No Prize for Second Contact
Author: Contactpsi
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HP6UPGBS6

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: This is a great mission with good map designs, fun battles, and excellent story dialogue. I was completely pulled into the story. I would highly recommend this mission to any player who likes a combination of good map design, fun battles, and excellent story dialogue.

I noted the use of the response button "Continue" quite a lot in the mission. Even though this is a personal preference I feel it is something for you to consider. The use of "Continue" can be appropriate in conjunction with some dialog but many others it seems awkward. On several of them the Captain should always respond to a report or other information given to them in the dialog. You can also use this as a stepping stone to the next dialog. Realizing that the Foundry is limited in what you can do to have the player more active in conversations, the use of [OOC] dialogue within that conversation gives the author that tool. I have seen it used in other missions and have used it myself. I have used the following;
[OOC][Rank] LastName]:
Story dialogue here.[/OOC]
You can also have additional dialogue after the [OOC] if needed and finish the player response in the response button.

Below are some things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

Mission Description: This is a good description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.

Grant Mission Dialogue: The grant and follow on dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

Mission Task: You should consider adding the start location of the first custom map. I noted no spelling errors with this task.

Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.

MAPS:
Ruben System, Regulus Sector Block: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider changing "We were told you expect you, [ShipName]," to read "We were told to expect you, [ShipName].?
-The use of the response button "Continue". I will note the maps this appears on and discuss it in the summary above.

The Ready Room: This is a good map design with excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".

Orith System, Hylaran Sector: This is a good map design with some tough, but fun battles, and well written story dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".
-I am not that familiar with the Andorian culture but would they wish another Captain "Godspeed"?
-Consider changing the response button "Allows us to depart" to read "Allow us to depart".

Heservat System, Regulus Sector: This is a good map design with excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".
-Consider adding a "Bypass the code" button. Puzzles in missions are okay but they really need to serve a purpose in the story. I saw no evidence that the puzzle on this map added to the story.

Heservat III, Deserted Island: This is a good map design with tough, but fun battles, and excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".

The Bridge: This is a good map design with excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".
-Consider replacing the wall door at the turbo lift with an invisible object that can be used to trigger the map transfer.
-Consider changing the map transfer button "Go to Next Map" to read "Thank you" or something along those lines.

Sickbay: This is a good map design with excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Observation Deck: This is a good map design with excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a great job developing this mission. I look forward to playing/reviewing more your work in the future.
Brian

This critique report also filed 02/24/2013 on forum posting for: In depth mission reports upon request.
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details.
Survivor of Romulus
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 87
# 7
02-24-2013, 05:41 PM
Thank you evil70th! That was extremely detailed and helpful.
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 752
# 8
02-24-2013, 10:46 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by councilspectre View Post
Thank you evil70th! That was extremely detailed and helpful.
Glad I could help. Keep up the great work.

Thanks for authoring,
Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details.
Survivor of Romulus
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 87
# 9
02-28-2013, 11:35 PM
Act II is coming along. It should be ready to review and play normally within the next week.
Survivor of Romulus
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 87
# 10
03-03-2013, 02:06 AM
I've had some reports that the "crash site" area is broken somehow. People have said they're not able to continue beyond this point.

I was not able to reproduce that circumstance. Has anyone who has played the mission noticed a problem during the "crash site" scene on the planet?
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