Captain
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 886
Ok lets say you have a kid who has turned 18 in the middle of the school year in high school. Then once they turned 18, they start doing things outside of your house rules. Why, cause now they they are 18, an dthat means they are grown. At least by law.

ok anyone you give them the option of they MUST follow the house rules, or they have to get out. So they pick to leave.

Now, as weeks go by you get calls from school that they have been missing class, but at the sametime they told the school to they dont want your as the parent to have anything to do with their schooling. The 18 issue again. So the school doesn't talk live to you, but you still get these messages of not attending school.

So later you find out, your kid has been bouncing from house to house with their BF.GF, and both have been living off other people.

Then you find out they moved to the big city to stay with a grand parent, and want to goto school in a not so good area.

So you as a parent what would you do in this case?

Mind you everyone has tried to talk and reson with your kid, but they are following the BF/ GF due to the love factor.

I call this case the story of DUM and DUMMER.
Career Officer
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 925
# 2
03-15-2013, 07:18 AM
Full disclaimer: I am not a parent myself but I have seen similar situations happen in my family.

My brother who is close to 30 has become a mooch and most likely a drug addict. My parents have had trouble with dealing with him and whether to keep trying to help or let him fend for himself. I myself took the lead during his divorce and made sure he kept up with his legal issues, mostly because I'm the oldest and have that "mother hen" complex a lot of firstborn children do.

I finally decided that I was just enabling him and the best thing to do for him was tough love. So, I no longer answer his phone calls or emails because all he ever did was whine and ask for money and never made any forward progress.

Granted, this is not exactly what you have described, but in my opinion, I think it may be time to just let your kid learn things the hard way since they don't seem to want to learn them the easy way.

I feel very bad for you and have already included you in my prayers. I can only imagine how much harder it must be for you as a parent than it was for me as a sibling.

Porthos is not amused.
Captain
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 886
# 3
03-15-2013, 07:40 AM
Thank you.

BTW I am all about the tough love. They dont want to listen to common sence, or good advice of any kind. If you dont side with them, they cut you off. One of the reason they left the 1st high school, they were trying to talk them into returning home. So off to the big city they ran with the BF/ GF.

no money
no job
no sence

The grandmom they are staying with, really I understand the one is their grandkid, and they are trying to help, but my kid should not have followed the other.

BTW no I can't hold this kid at my place, as the police told me they are 18 and I have to let them go. So what can a parent do, when you see a your kid heading to the cliff, following another who is holding their hand to jump off into DOOM?
Career Officer
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 925
# 4
03-15-2013, 07:42 AM
My only suggestion will certainly not be popular with some around here and may be deleted for religious content, but I think the only thing you can do in that case is pray and hope for the best. There's not really anything you can do at this point.

Porthos is not amused.
Captain
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 886
# 5
03-15-2013, 07:49 AM
Hey it's what my mom and in-laws tell me. But that's all you can do really, when your kid doesn't want to listen to anyone, and keep see the danger down the road they are going towards.
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 281
# 6
03-15-2013, 08:15 AM
I'd say to just let your child know that they can come home if they have to. Put aside some money if they need it and have a place to sleep ready to go. Just be available. If they're really leading a self-destructing lifestyle, then they'll probably be back eventually. You'll have your chance to fix things between you, just be ready for it.
I miss my _.
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