I borrowed an older ATI card (I use nvidia purely on religious grounds) and I was able to run STO without the video/no audio problem and I could launch it without resorting to xp sp3 compat mode.
The missing options were back where they were expected and I could change the setting to DX9.
Things reverted back to the video/no audio problem with my nvidia card.
I have ruled out a card defect (because it works as expected with other games), so why don't these options show up?
I'm confident this problem will be resolved IF I can get the missing options back.
First, I want to say that it should not have come this far.
All I needed was to be able to switch back to DX9 and for some reason this game couldn't allow me to do that (even though it let me change it in the first place).
Now, the POSSIBLE workaround:
*Make sure you aren't in compatability mode and you are launching normally FIRST*
Enter the following in the command line (under OPTIONS when you login in the launcher):
I have both in-game sound and video back.
The character select screen is not a black screen anymore.
For fear of it reverting back to its primal state, I'm going to leave the -d3d9 as is.