Lt. Commander
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 208
# 41
07-11-2013, 07:34 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by shevet View Post
My, my, people are having fun with this one....

Anyway. Tylha's little essay on "What I did on my summer vacation" is now up. They asked for a Risian getaway, so that's what they've got....
heh, awesome story. I'm working on one for this myself, hope to have it tomorrow or the next day finished.
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 2,824
# 42
07-11-2013, 07:42 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by takeshi6 View Post
Heh.

Hey, Jonsills, we gonna be seeing Grunt in this LC?
Possibly - the Herpes needs to pick up a couple of people, and Risa seems like as good a place as any to do it. I've even got a bit involving one of the new people kind of planned out. Now if I could just find a hook for the story - one that doesn't involve Grunt's ship getting blown up, for a change...
-------------------------------------------
I'm old enough not to care too much about what you think of me --
But I'm young enough to remember the future, the way things ought to be...

- Rush, "Cut To the Chase", Counterparts
Career Officer
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 3,343
# 43
07-11-2013, 08:53 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by jonsills View Post
Now if I could just find a hook for the story - one that doesn't involve Grunt's ship getting blown up, for a change...
Joyriding Nausicaan teenagers in a stolen 'Vette?


"I won't try to hide behind the Law if what I stand for is what's Right."

The Masterverse Timeline / Ten Forward Fanfics
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3,443
# 44
07-12-2013, 08:39 AM
I was inspired to make an edit to add some details (quite literally) about Amanda... I'll leave it alone now, I don't want to 'oversalt the pot'
Rihannsu
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 768
# 45
07-12-2013, 10:51 AM
I'd better get cracking on mine this weekend if I want to put anything up.

@darthgranic: Cute guide, and not a half bad story.

@grylak: Didn't I read this somewhere before? Still, good story, very sweet.

@kaaskrul: I am probably the last person to say this, but please spell check. The story is okay though a bit rushed.

@patchouli19: Nice story. You're taking the Star Fleet Univese setting, aren't you, fromthe old mini game. I think I reconize a few races from there.

@marcusdkane: Funny one. So, S'rR's a highlander and X23? Or X32, I alwasy forget. I liked the Baywatch part. And yeah, one wonders about the Starfleet code of conduct when looking at Amanda. Then again, a few of my characters should talk.

@shevet: Another good one. If Risa really is open to anyone, you would think the locals would be more used to this stuff. I really like T'laihhae, she and Tylha should team up more often. Not that I don't like Tylha, but I'd love more of a peek inside T'laihhae's head. Also, are all of your Romulan ships named after Roman women?
Joined September 2011
Nouveau riche LTS member
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3,443
# 46
07-12-2013, 11:04 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by malkarris View Post
@marcusdkane: Funny one. So, S'rR's a highlander and X23? Or X32, I alwasy forget. I liked the Baywatch part. And yeah, one wonders about the Starfleet code of conduct when looking at Amanda. Then again, a few of my characters should talk.
Thanks, for the feedback, I wanted to keep it light, hence the scenes with the ship's Bunnies

Yes, S'rR's was inspired by both Highlander immortals and X-23. I wondered when someone would get the X-Men steal

As for Amanda, she's not doing anything which most other people don't do on Risa, and by being in a 'themed venue', would be able to expect the reasonable privacy for it to not fall under 'Conduct Unbecoming' (and then leaves anyway for a truly private rendezvous )

Last edited by marcusdkane; 07-12-2013 at 11:08 AM.
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 608
# 47
07-12-2013, 12:57 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by malkarris View Post

@shevet: Another good one. If Risa really is open to anyone, you would think the locals would be more used to this stuff. I really like T'laihhae, she and Tylha should team up more often. Not that I don't like Tylha, but I'd love more of a peek inside T'laihhae's head. Also, are all of your Romulan ships named after Roman women?
Oh, yes... more specific than that, even: female characters from I, Claudius. T'laihhae started out in the RRW Livia; I leave it to you to judge whether she's traded up or down.

I've been sort of enjoying having T'laihhae as a non-viewpoint character, where you can only try to infer what's going on in her head from her perceived actions... maybe I'll stick with that, maybe I won't. I'll just have to see what comes to my mind in future challenges!

- oh, and @jonsills: add me to the list of people who think Grunt would enjoy a visit to Risa.
Ensign
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 14
# 48
07-12-2013, 03:07 PM
@marcusdkane
Quote:
Excellent entry Not quite the ending I was expecting, but a nice observation of the strategic weakness of so many officers being present at one time
Thank you, I'm hoping the word "unexpected" will be used for a few more of my future endings. I quite enjoy pulling the rug out from under my readers feet (to a reasonable extent of course. There is a difference between pulling the rug and setting off a thermonuclear device).

@cmdrscarlet
Quote:
@patchouli19 - That was really cool interaction between officers; very smooth conversation and "action".
And thank you as well. Transitions aren't exactly my strong suit...

@malkarris
Quote:
@patchouli19: Nice story. You're taking the Star Fleet Univese setting, aren't you, fromthe old mini game. I think I reconize a few races from there.
Oh yes yes yes. I am a huge fan of the Starfleet Command games ("Command II: Empires at War" and the "Orion Pirates" expansion to be specific). I thought melding the Starfleet Command and STO universes should prove to be very interesting . So you can say my LC narrative is sort of an experiment *wrings hands and chuckles*

Last edited by patchouli19; 07-12-2013 at 03:10 PM.
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3,443
# 49
07-12-2013, 03:25 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by patchouli19 View Post
Thank you, I'm hoping the word "unexpected" will be used for a few more of my future endings. I quite enjoy pulling the rug out from under my readers feet (to a reasonable extent of course. There is a difference between pulling the rug and setting off a thermonuclear device).
I'll certainly look forward to reading your future entries

I tried to play this entry as straight as possible with no real twists to it, the closest being that the lifeguard was from the nineties, and would have been a Baywatch lifeguard before the events shown in the series
Career Officer
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 3,343
# 50
07-12-2013, 04:33 PM
@kaaskrul - You've got all the makings of a great story there: a Captain with a tortured past, struggling with the loss of his first officer, unable to relax on a pleasure planet due to his old fears and new suspicions. If you could just spell-check and punctuate your work, separate your thoughts and flesh them out a little more, you'd definitely have something there worth reading.

@patchouli19 - great entry! How do the bad guys always know to strike when the hero's on vacation?

@marcusdkane - wonderful piece. I loved the revelations about Amanda, and S'rR's showing I'sH'd her claws. And the Baywatch guy... ah, that brings back memories of my preteen years... watching Pamela Anderson running in slow motion...

@shevat - That was really nice to see Tylha and T'laihhae up to no good together. And I really enjoyed Bulpli's recreational suggestions. ("I know when I'm licked...") And since jonsills already mentioned my favorite line, this is my second favorite bit:
Quote:
I was lucky, in that no one encountered me, wandering the corridors in the darkness, wearing nothing but a plastic coating and an unconscious Tal Shiar officer.... There would have been questions."

"Well, maybe not. This is Risa."


"I won't try to hide behind the Law if what I stand for is what's Right."

The Masterverse Timeline / Ten Forward Fanfics
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