Lt. Commander
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 145
# 691
08-08-2013, 02:42 PM
Hey there. Its awesome what you're doing here. If you get time, you can add mine to the queue too. Any feedback is welcome as it is my first one.

Uprising: Act I - Off The Grid
Author : maninblack017
Faction : federation
Open to any level
Approximately 45 minutes to complete.

Thank you!

"The time has come to see the world as it is." - Captain James T. Kirk
Twitter - @SeanDVargo
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 752
# 692
08-10-2013, 08:41 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by vaelinpaladin View Post
Brian - very gracious of you to offer to do this, and in such detail. This is my first Foundry attempt, though it has progressed through a couple major edits based on feedback and personal play-through and reflection. Begins in Q'onoS (shipyard, console behind the ship repair engineer). I appreciate it!


Mission Name: Imperial Incursion
Author: shillelagh73
Minimum Level: Any, ideally 50.
Allegiance: Klingon
Project ID: ST-HP7S8HVR6
Estimated Mission Length: 15-20 minutes (standard difficulty)
Greetings shillelagh73,

Welcome to the queue of which your mission is 18th in it behind NCC-89471. I will get to your mission as soon as I can.

Thanks for authoring,
Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details.
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 752
# 693
08-10-2013, 08:49 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by logitech007 View Post
Hello, Evil 70th, I have a couple of missions I would like for you to review, I will give you the information that you will need.

Please note, Part one starts at the end of my other series and this part continues the story but playing the other series is not needed but you might be confused.
__________________________________________________ ________________________

Mission Name: The Fvain Group part one. ( Most of this mission is done in flashbacks)
Author: Logitech007
Minimum Level: 31+
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HUUBIG8KJ
Estimated Mission Length: About 45 min to an hour. Depends on you.

Story:From the Borg---Jem' Hadar battle crisis came a group of officers who are plotting the downfall of the Federation by any and all means. They have triggered some sort of splinter group. Enemies are now allies and allies are now enemies. Can you put a stop to this before this group successful. If they are, what will be the balance of power be like in the area? Where did this group come from and who leads this group? How big is this group? The answer may or may not surprise you.

Starting place: Wall console just outside of the Transporter room on Earth space dock.
__________________________________________________ ________________________

Mission Name: The Fvain Group part Tne. ( You will need a shuttle for one part of this mission, the game will tell you when you need it.)
Author: Logitech007
Minimum Level: 31+
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HFIPWJ7A5
Estimated Mission Length: About 30-45 min.

Story: Now we know who in Starfleet's Echelon is part of the Fvain Group, but does it going further up the chain then some of its command officers. Are there more misguided officers who are plotting? Who will we enter into a temporary alliance with, The Romulans or the Klingons, to put an end to this and will this new alliance push the Federation across the line that they can not undo or will the ends justify the means to whatever the length Starfleet will go to end this threat once and for all? Another player is revealed.

Starting place: Wall console just outside of the Transporter room on Earth space dock.
__________________________________________________ ________________________

Thank you for taking the time to play and review my missions.

Thanks
Logitech007
Hi Logitech007,

Welcome back to the queue. Your missions are currently 19 and 20 in the queue behind shillelagh73. I will get to these missions as soon as I can.

Thanks
Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details.
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 752
# 694
08-10-2013, 08:51 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by donkyhotay View Post
Thank you for posting the current queue, I appreciate knowing where I am in line. We also understand you have a real life besides STO and that it takes awhile to test everything and I am grateful for the time you do spend doing this.
I do love playing the game but work is just keeping me so busy I just have not been able to play. I am starting to get back into the queue as I can.

Thanks to you and everyone for understanding.
Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details.
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 752
# 695
08-10-2013, 08:55 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by maninblack017 View Post
Hey there. Its awesome what you're doing here. If you get time, you can add mine to the queue too. Any feedback is welcome as it is my first one.

Uprising: Act I - Off The Grid
Author : maninblack017
Faction : federation
Open to any level
Approximately 45 minutes to complete.

Thank you!
Hi maninblack017,

Welcome to the queue. You are 22nd in the queue behind Logitech007. I will try to get to your mission as soon as possible.

Thanks
Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details.
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 752
# 696
08-11-2013, 05:32 PM
The first three missions in the queue appear to have been withdrawn by the authors. I cannot locate them so I have moved on to mission 4 in the queue Overture 6: Finale with Cannonade by KineticImpulser.

Thanks for authoring,
Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details.
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 752
Quote:
Originally Posted by kineticimpulser View Post
Hey Brian -

It's been a long time coming, but it's finally here...

Mission Name: Overture 6: Finale with Cannonade
Author: @KineticImpulser
Minimum Level: Any
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HECU5DAJR
Estimated Mission Length: 100-120 min

Overture 6 Final Trailer

Hope you're getting more time off these days!

Federation Mission - Overture 6: Finale with Cannonade
Author: KineticImpulser
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HECU5DAJR

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: This is a great story mission and excellent wrap up to the mission series. The map designs are outstanding. The battles are balanced and fun to engage. The story dialogue is in-depth, riveting, and excellently written. It hardly felt like 2 plus hours of playing time to complete the mission. I would highly recommend this mission and the entire series to all players who like a great story oriented mission with just enough fighting to keep it interesting.

Below are a couple of things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

Mission Description: This is a good description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.

Grant Mission Dialogue: The grant and follow on dialogue are well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

Mission Task: This is a good initial task with a clear start location for the first custom map. I noted no spelling errors with this task.

Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the entry prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt

MAPS:
Your Ship - Hanger Deck: This is a good map design with excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Unikuia Prime - Vanguard: This is a great map design with well balanced battles and excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Boarding the U.S.S. Serapis - Engineering Deck: This is a good map design with a fun battle and excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The Lock the Holo-matrix console in engineering appears to be sitting slightly off the deck. Consider moving it down on the Y axis.

Boarding the U.S.S. Serapis - Crew Deck: This is a good map design with a fun battle and great story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The Lock the Holo-matrix console in cabin appears to be sitting well above the deck. Consider moving it down on the Y axis.

Boarding the U.S.S. Serapis - Bridge: This is a nice map design with a good battle and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The Lock the Holo-matrix console in cabin appears to be sitting slightly above the deck. Consider moving it down on the Y axis.

Unikuia Prime - Le Fin Grande: This is a great map design with a spectacular battle and outstanding story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

U.S.S. Serapis - Debriefing: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

U.S.S. Serapis - Epilogue: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a great job with this mission and the entire series. I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian

This critique report also filed 08/11/2013 on forum posting for: Star Trek: Overture
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details.

Last edited by evil70th; 08-11-2013 at 05:44 PM.
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 752
Quote:
Originally Posted by councilspectre View Post
Mission Name: No Prize for Second Contact II
Author: Contactpsi
Minimum Level: 16+
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HL6S9MR6F
Estimated Mission Length: 45-60 minutes

Hey again, Evil! Act II has been published. Would you have time to provide one of your reviews?
Federation Mission - No Prize for Second Contact II
Author: Contactpsi
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HL6S9MR6F

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: This is a great mission with good map design, tough, but fun battles, and riveting story dialogue. The mission is a good combination of story and combat to keep both types of players interested throughout the mission. I would highly recommend this to all players although not on Elite level.

Below are a few things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

Mission Description: This is a good description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.

Grant Mission Dialogue: The grant and follow on dialogue are very well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

Mission Task: This is a good mission task with a clear start location for the first custom map. I noted no spelling errors with this task.

Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.

MAPS:
Chapter I, Argelius System: This is a good map design with a very tough battle and well written story dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The Captain Proffitt dialogue, consider changing "the main comp<Hard Return>uter" to read "the main computer".

Chapter II, The Satellite: This is a good map design with excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Chapter II, Argelius System: This is a good map with excellent story dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-You have this map and the previous map named "Chapter II". This throws off the follow on Chapter numbers. Consider renaming the maps.

Chapter III, The Bridge: This is a good map with excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Chapter IV, Security Office: This is a good map design with a couple of good battles and excellent dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The Dartek dialogue, consider changing "I also request an asylum and immunity to persecution" to read "I also request asylum and immunity from prosecution".

Chapter V, Heservat III: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-I was not sure if you intended to use the word "sender" both times you used it. Did you mean "notify" vice "sender" or was that intentional as a language difference?
-Consider breaking up the dialogue following the Administrator Tedrik dialogue to have the player move away before continuing the dialogue with Captain Proffitt and the player's ship.

Chapter VI, Hidden Base: This is a good map design with several very tough battles and excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider adding a respawn point deeper in the map.

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a great job on this mission and I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian

This critique report also filed 08/17/2013 on forum posting for: No Prize for Second Contact, Act II
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details.
Lieutenant
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 89
# 699 My part 3 of my series.
08-17-2013, 05:52 PM
Hello, Evil70th, I have my part three that I just finished that I would liked to be reviewed, I will list the information below for you. You have the other 2 parts on your list, so why don't you review part 3 last part.

Name: The Fvain Group part 3.
ID: ST-HIOTD6JKC
Author name: Logitech007
Language: English
Side: Federation
Level: 31+
Starting location: Wall console just outside of the transporter room on ESD
Story: In this conclusion of the story, Starfleet and the Klingon Empire has made strides to end this threat to both of them and to the entire quadrant. The true person(s) behind all of this is reveled. Are the players just pawns in the great game? Will the Federation and the Klingon Empire be able to cut the head off of this threat or will they fail? We are now finally able to know how and why each member joined the Fvain group.

Thank you for reviewing parts 1 2 and three. Thanks. I look forward to your reviews.

Thanks
Logitech007
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 752
# 700
08-18-2013, 07:17 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by logitech007 View Post
Hello, Evil70th, I have my part three that I just finished that I would liked to be reviewed, I will list the information below for you. You have the other 2 parts on your list, so why don't you review part 3 last part.

Name: The Fvain Group part 3.
ID: ST-HIOTD6JKC
Author name: Logitech007
Language: English
Side: Federation
Level: 31+
Starting location: Wall console just outside of the transporter room on ESD
Story: In this conclusion of the story, Starfleet and the Klingon Empire has made strides to end this threat to both of them and to the entire quadrant. The true person(s) behind all of this is reveled. Are the players just pawns in the great game? Will the Federation and the Klingon Empire be able to cut the head off of this threat or will they fail? We are now finally able to know how and why each member joined the Fvain group.

Thank you for reviewing parts 1 2 and three. Thanks. I look forward to your reviews.

Thanks
Logitech007
Hey Logitech007,

Thanks for the request. I have added your mission to the queue along with your first two missions in the series. The part 3 of your mission is currently 20th in the queue behind maninblack017. I will review your missions as soon as I can.

Thanks for authoring,
Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details.
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