Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 752
# 931
03-02-2014, 06:38 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by nakedsnake001 View Post
Thanks for the review and I have noted all your points. Expect to see a huge update fixing most, if not all of these points.
As always, I am glad I could help. Keep up the great work and thanks for authoring.
Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 145
# 932
03-13-2014, 05:45 AM
The third part of the Uprising series is finally online!

Uprising: Act III - Epsilon
ID: ST-HLZHDY566
Allegiance: Federation*
Level: All Levels
Language: English
Single player. Adding teammates may cause unexpected difficulties.

Estimated play time 60-90 minutes.
This mission is story-based and therefore contains heavy dialogue. However, it also contains both space and ground combat.*

This mission begins at the console outside of the transporter room on Earth Spacedock.

Summary:
Having been pushed to your breaking point by the Phoenix Dawn, you must find a way to get back into the fight. While you and your crew struggle to survive, Jok'lava continues his reign of terror on the Federation. You may be the last hope that Earth has left.

Starfleet is in its darkest hour. Do you have what it takes to figure out how to prevent total annihilation?

-----------

I just wanted to let you know because you thoroughly reviewed the first two parts. If you could review this one too, it'd be greatly appreciated. Thank you for all you do.

"The time has come to see the world as it is." - Captain James T. Kirk
Twitter - @SeanDVargo
Lieutenant
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 89
# 933 Logitech007 part 4 mission
03-19-2014, 06:22 PM
Hey all I am back with part four of my The unexpected return to end this series, im looking for one of your reports reviews on part 4.

Thank you for taking your time and effort to play part 4 .

Thank you.
Logitech007
----------------------------------------------------------

Name: The Unexpected Return Part Four
ID: ST-HJLZCA4DX
Author: Logitech007
Language: English
Allegiance: Starfleet-Federation
Level: 50
Version:V1.1:
Story: You and your team have made it back to Deep space nine from the Tzenkethi homeworld with some disturbing evidence of their super weapon capable of destroying entire planets. The Tzenkethi forces have set their eyes on destroying the Federation and the Klingon Empire with this weapon. Will the Tzenkethi forces succeed on destroying the Federation and the Klingon Empire or will you be able to destroy the Tzenkethi forces and their weapons before its too late?
Where to start:Wall console just outside of the Transporter room on Earth space dock.
----------------------------------------------------------


Thanks again Logitech007
Survivor of Romulus
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 90
# 934
03-20-2014, 03:35 PM
I'd like to submit the final part in my series: No Prize for Second Contact

No Prize for Second Contact IV
ID: ST-HPH7UDHU7
Allegiance: Federation
Level: Level 16+
Language: English
Play Time: 1 hour - 1 1/2 hours

Thank you, Evil!
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 752
# 935
03-23-2014, 03:13 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by maninblack017 View Post
The third part of the Uprising series is finally online!

Uprising: Act III - Epsilon
ID: ST-HLZHDY566
Allegiance: Federation*
Level: All Levels
Language: English
Single player. Adding teammates may cause unexpected difficulties.

Estimated play time 60-90 minutes.
This mission is story-based and therefore contains heavy dialogue. However, it also contains both space and ground combat.*

This mission begins at the console outside of the transporter room on Earth Spacedock.

Summary:
Having been pushed to your breaking point by the Phoenix Dawn, you must find a way to get back into the fight. While you and your crew struggle to survive, Jok'lava continues his reign of terror on the Federation. You may be the last hope that Earth has left.

Starfleet is in its darkest hour. Do you have what it takes to figure out how to prevent total annihilation?

-----------

I just wanted to let you know because you thoroughly reviewed the first two parts. If you could review this one too, it'd be greatly appreciated. Thank you for all you do.
Hi maninblack,

Welcome back to the queue. Your mission is 11th in the queue behind Logitech007. I am making progress on the queue as fast as I can when real life allows.

Thanks for your patience and for authoring,
Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details.
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 752
# 936
03-23-2014, 03:18 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by logitech007 View Post
Hey all I am back with part four of my The unexpected return to end this series, im looking for one of your reports reviews on part 4.

Thank you for taking your time and effort to play part 4 .

Thank you.
Logitech007
----------------------------------------------------------

Name: The Unexpected Return Part Four
ID: ST-HJLZCA4DX
Author: Logitech007
Language: English
Allegiance: Starfleet-Federation
Level: 50
Version:V1.1:
Story: You and your team have made it back to Deep space nine from the Tzenkethi homeworld with some disturbing evidence of their super weapon capable of destroying entire planets. The Tzenkethi forces have set their eyes on destroying the Federation and the Klingon Empire with this weapon. Will the Tzenkethi forces succeed on destroying the Federation and the Klingon Empire or will you be able to destroy the Tzenkethi forces and their weapons before its too late?
Where to start:Wall console just outside of the Transporter room on Earth space dock.
----------------------------------------------------------


Thanks again Logitech007
Hi Logitech,

Your newest installment is currently 12th in the queue behind maninblack. I will get to this mission as soon as I can.

Thanks for authoring,
Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details.
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 752
# 937
03-23-2014, 03:21 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by councilspectre View Post
I'd like to submit the final part in my series: No Prize for Second Contact

No Prize for Second Contact IV
ID: ST-HPH7UDHU7
Allegiance: Federation
Level: Level 16+
Language: English
Play Time: 1 hour - 1 1/2 hours

Thank you, Evil!
Hi councilspectre,

Welcome back to the queue. Your final installment in the series is currently 13th in the queue behind Logitech. I will get to your mission just as soon as I can.

Thanks for authoring,
Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details.
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 752
Quote:
Originally Posted by paxfederatica View Post
"[Rom] Valley of the Shadow II" (aka "The Shadow of Death")
Mission ID: ST-HLAM39YR6
Author: @NCC-89471
Faction: Federation-allied Romulan
Level restriction: 31+
Duration: 60 minutes (estimated minimum)
Combat: Ground and Space
Summary: Having found evidence of a devastating new Tal Shiar terror weapon, can you uncover the truth behind it before entire worlds - and even New Romulus itself - fall into its shadow?
Where to post review: In this thread, and this one.


Mission notes:
  • This series is a prequel to my Fed series Ghosts of War. (It is not necessary to play that series first, but Part II's plot does foreshadow it in certain places.)
  • This series takes place between Cryptic series "Vengeance" and "Freedom" in the Romulan Republic story arc.
  • Story-driven with heavy dialogue.
  • Designed to be played using a ship with a cloaking device. (Note: Player ship will sometimes decloak on dialogs and certain objectives, but not close enough for enemies to notice.)
  • Maps 6-8 made with substitute maps; will be rebuilt once their intended locales (New Romulus space and Command Center) become available to Foundry authors.
Federation Mission - "[Rom] Valley of the Shadow II" (aka "The Shadow of Death")
Author: NCC-89471
Allegiance: Federation-allied Romulan
Project ID: ST-HLAM39YR6

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: This is a great mission with good map designs, fun battles, and excellent story dialogue. I enjoyed the mission from start to finish and would definitely recommend this mission to other players. It was a good installment in the series.

I did mention your excessive use of the response button "Continue". I have covered that as an issue in multiple reviews so I will not spend any more time on this issue. Suffice to say it needs to be addressed.

In your description you mention the issue with BOFFs sometimes not appearing as intended in your story. I have never actually seen this issue in any of my missions. I also only noted this issue in your dialogue on the first couple of maps. If you used the multiple BOFF or NPC in dialogue chains on other maps then is seems unlikely to be an actual issue with the Foundry. The issue could be related to your labeling the BOFFs in the dialogue string. This could be interpreted as an issue with the BOFF labeling. If this is what is being referred to in your description because folks are complaining that you had a tactical officer labeled as an engineer then it is most likely an issue with labeling. Remember that some players do not split up their away team assignments with at least one Tactical, Science, and Engineer which can also cause issues. You can leave the Name of the BOFF blank and avoid the potential for mislabeling one of the players. A final possibility to consider is when you first generate dialogue it asks you to select the default BOFF for that string of dialogue. You must select that particular BOFF in order to continue the creation of that dialogue string. In that dialogue string you can select a different BOFF or other NPC for any other portion of the same dialogue string. If you are not careful in that selection you can select the wrong one or it may revert to the default BOFF or NPC you selected at the start of the chain. I would suggest a careful review of each chain of dialogue if you have multiple BOFFs or NPCs selected in that chain. I have found that if the BOFFs do not show up as I intended it typically is because I selected the wrong one in a string with multiple BOFFs.

One last thing, I mentioned your use of "RECENT CHANGES" and "AUTHOR'S NOTES" in the description. The [MissionInfo] writing is the majority of your description. You need to use the description to highlight the best aspects of your mission and tell the potential player why they should spend time playing your mission instead of someone else's. It is the initial look at your mission and a chance to draw us in to your mission. There is nothing wrong with "RECENT CHANGES" and "AUTHOR'S NOTES" but, in my opinion, they should not be the bulk of your description.

Below are a few things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

Mission Description: The description of the story is overwhelmed by your "RECENT CHANGES" and "AUTHOR'S NOTES" dialogue. Consider providing more of the story in the description to draw the players in and make them want to click the 'Hail' button. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.

Grant Mission Dialogue: The grant and follow on dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider changing the use of the response button "Continue" in the follow on dialogue to "..." or something along those lines.

Mission Task: This is a good mission task with a clear location for the start of the first custom map. I noted no spelling errors with this task.

Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

MAPS:
1: Drozana VII space: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".
-The issue you mention in your description regarding the BOFF’s displaying incorrectly. I will discuss this in my summary above.

2: Nimbus III surface: This is a good map with simple, optional combat and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".

3: Bironex Prime space: This is a good map design with good optional combat and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".

4: Bironex Prime surface: This is a good map design with good optional combat and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".

5: Bironex V space: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".

6: Mol'Rihan space: This is a nice map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider moving the spawn point closer to the Federation and Klingon ships. There seems to be no point to having the player fly half way across the map just to beam to the other ship.

7: U.S.S. Pax Federatica bridge: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".

8: Mol'Rihan space: This is a good map design with fun battles and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".
-The pseudo puzzle for the player to figure out what order to process the data seemed unnecessary to the story.

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a great job creating this mission in the series. I look forward to reviewing/playing more of your work in the future.
Brian

This critique report also filed 03/23/2014 on forum posting for: Valley of the Shadow II
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details.
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 890
# 939
03-23-2014, 10:09 PM
Thanks once more for your feedback, evil70th.

I think you might have misunderstood my note about the BOff problem. It's not a Foundry issue, or a problem with my dialog titles; it is a known and documented game-wide bug, whereby dialogue intended for the Engineering BOff is delivered by the Science BOff instead.

As for the "Continue" button text, that is a stylistic decision on my part. For button text, as a general rule, I put dialogue in "quotes", stage directions in [square parentheses], and leave navigation directions like Continue and Back without any indicating marks.

Last edited by paxfederatica; 03-23-2014 at 10:43 PM.
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 752
# 940
03-23-2014, 10:21 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by paxfederatica View Post
Thanks once more for your feedback, evil70th.

I think you might have misunderstood my note about the BOff problem. It's not a Foundry issue, or a problem with my dialog titles; it is a known and documented game-wide bug, whereby dialogue intended for the Engineering BOff is delivered by the Science BOff instead.

As for the "Continue" button text, that is a stylistic decision on my part. For button text, as a general rule, I put dialogue in "quotes", stage directions in [square parentheses], and leave navigation directions like Continue and Back without any indicating marks.
You are correct that I did not understand the original statement in your description. With that said, the general recommendations made in the review are highly recommended to check the dialogue. I have seen a variation as described based on the dialogue entries I have made. From a programming trouble shooting perspective it does not seem like a consistent problem. I imagine it will be a while before they can fix it. However the recommendations still stand regarding the description and notes pertaining to the issue.

The recommendation regarding the use of "Continue" is also a style issue for me and that is why I point it out in my reviews.

As with all my reviews, the contents are strictly my recommendations and you are free to take them or not. I really enjoyed the mission. Keep up the good work.

Thanks for authoring,
Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details.
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