Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 11
01-30-2010, 03:14 PM
did you hear the one about the sidewalk?

it's all over town.


Did you hear the one about the ceiling?

meh, it's over your head.


did you hear the one about the jump rope?

eh i'll skip it.


did you hear the one about the oak tree?

it's a-corny one!


what's brown and sticky?

a stick


how many white guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

one.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 12
01-30-2010, 03:15 PM
Did you hear that Palin traveled to Tahiti to lend a hand with the relief efforts . . . said she could see her house from there.

Chuckles from the Dark Side!!!

Kelvinich
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 13
01-30-2010, 03:17 PM
A white horse ran thru a mud puddle?
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 14
01-30-2010, 03:19 PM
Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 15
01-30-2010, 03:20 PM
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony
wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 16
01-30-2010, 03:23 PM
What do you call a Fish with no eyes?







A Fsssh
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 17
01-30-2010, 03:31 PM
A man walks into a bar with his pet giraffe and say's to the barman "I will have a pint of lager and a double whiskey for the giraffe".

The man knocks back his pint.
The giraffe drinks the double whisky the passes out on the floor.
The man then proceeds to walk out of the bar when the barman shouts "OI you can't leave that lyin there"
The man replies " Are you stupid that's not a lion it's a giraffe"
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 18
01-30-2010, 03:32 PM
What do vegetarian zombies say??

"Graiiinnnsss"
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 19
01-30-2010, 03:46 PM
A farmer is sitting in the neighborhood bar getting soused. A man comes in and asks the farmer, "Hey, why are you sitting here on this beautiful day getting drunk?"

Farmer: Some things you just can't explain.

Man: So what happened that's so horrible?

Farmer: Well, today I was sitting by my cow milking her. Just as I got the bucket about full, she took her left leg and kicked over the bucket.

Man: Ok, but that's not so bad.

Farmer: Some things you just can't explain.

Man: So what happened then?

Farmer: I took her left leg and tied it to the post on the left.

Man: and then?

Farmer: Well, I sat back down and continued to milk her. Just as I got the bucket about full, she took her right leg and kicked over the bucket.

Man: Again?

Farmer: Some things you just can't explain.

Man: So, what did you do then?

Farmer: I took her right leg this time and tied it to the post on the right.

Man: and then?

Farmer: Well, I sat back down and began milking her again. Just as got the bucket about full, the stupid cow knocked over the bucket with her tail.

Man: Hmmm...

Farmer: Some things you just can't explain.

Man: So, what did you do?

Farmer: Well, I didn't have any more rope, so I took off my belt and tied her tail to the rafter. In that moment, my pants fell down and my wife walked in.....
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