Captain
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,498
# 1011
08-05-2014, 07:03 PM
Name: The Forgotten Battle
Faction: Fed
Author: @voporak

Far away from the front lines of the most recent conflict, the wars rage on. The stories of victories and sacrifices in the Dyson Sphere and Fluidic Space will forever be told, but what about the battles that no one will remember?

And also, the prequel sequel to Ashkrik23's Perfection.

Name: Imperfection
Faction: Fed
Author: @voporak

The destruction of the Borg by the powers of the Alpha and Beta Quadrants produced tremendous amounts of information - including the mission logs of the U.S.S. Resistance, a ship lost just before the Borg invasion. As the savior of the galaxy, you have been chosen to explore the holographic recreation of the vessel's final voyage to uncover the backstory behind the Borg's quest for Perfection.
Commander
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 264
# 1012
08-07-2014, 02:55 PM
evil70th, I would really appreaciate an in depth review as you have time. This is my first mission and is meant as an Exploration Cluster mission with more oopmph than what Cryptic gave us in the past.

Mission Name: Explore Delta Volanis 4171C
Author: rekurzion
Minimum Level: 31+
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HARM78KB4
Estimated Mission Length: ~30-45mins

Subtitle is called: The Snare
Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 884
# 1013
08-09-2014, 08:22 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by wildkazoo View Post
Mind adding mine to your review list?

Title: Timeless
Author: wildkazoo
ID: ST-HPX4833Z6
Faction: Federation
Level: 41+
Length: 40 - 75 minutes.

This is a sequel to Foothold (ID: ID: ST-HN6PZ5EJS)

Description:
Fabrications: part II

Your success with recovering the data from Starbase 82 in Foothold has brought you to the attention of Admiral Boatwright. He is calling on you to venture into a system laden with mysterious temporal anomalies and rescue the crews of two missing starships. The U.S.S. Farnsworth, carrying valuable experimental Starfleet technologies, has gone missing. Another starship, the U.S.S. Lahan, was sent to find it. But contact was lost with the Lahan as well. What is to be found in the Maro System? What dangers lurk in a system fraught with time?
Hi Wildkazoo,

Welcome to the queue. Your mission is 14th in the queue behind jezaleigha. I will get to your mission as soon as I can.

Thanks for authoring,
Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details. Also see Evil 70th's list of missions at "Evil 70th's Missions".
Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 884
# 1014
08-09-2014, 08:26 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by voporak View Post
I just finished a new mission that I had on hold for a while.

Name: Epohh's Day
Faction: Fed
Author: @voporak
Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d5lB...LAvtqEvQv4YMlA

A simple visit to New Romulus for a holiday takes a turn for the worse when disaster strikes. However, as events start repeating themselves, you realize you're not just trapped in catastrophe... you're trapped in Epohh's Day!
Hi Voporak,

Welcome to the queue. Your mission is currently 15th in the queue behind wildkazoo. I will get to your mission as soon as I can.

Thanks for authoring,
Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details. Also see Evil 70th's list of missions at "Evil 70th's Missions".

Last edited by evil70th; 08-09-2014 at 08:32 AM.
Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 884
# 1015
08-09-2014, 08:32 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by logitech007 View Post
Hey Evil70th, I have 2 brand new mission that I would like you to review them, if you wouldn't mind.
Thanks

Mission Name: The Covenant part 1
Author: Logitech007
Minimum Level: 31+
Allegiance: Starfleet Federation
Project ID: ST-ST-HUCUI6DUA
Estimated Mission Length: About 45 min to 1 hour give or take.


Mission Name: The Covenant part 2
Author: Logitech007
Minimum Level: 31+
Allegiance: Starfleet Federation
Project ID: ST-HINOZE859
Estimated Mission Length: ABout 45 minto 1 hour give or take.


Thanks again.
Logitech007
Hi Logitech007,

Welcome to the queue. Your missions are 16th and 17th in the queue behind voporak. I will review your mission as soon as I can.

Thanks for authoring,
Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details. Also see Evil 70th's list of missions at "Evil 70th's Missions".
Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 884
# 1016
08-09-2014, 08:39 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by voporak View Post
Name: The Forgotten Battle
Faction: Fed
Author: @voporak

Far away from the front lines of the most recent conflict, the wars rage on. The stories of victories and sacrifices in the Dyson Sphere and Fluidic Space will forever be told, but what about the battles that no one will remember?

And also, the prequel sequel to Ashkrik23's Perfection.

Name: Imperfection
Faction: Fed
Author: @voporak

The destruction of the Borg by the powers of the Alpha and Beta Quadrants produced tremendous amounts of information - including the mission logs of the U.S.S. Resistance, a ship lost just before the Borg invasion. As the savior of the galaxy, you have been chosen to explore the holographic recreation of the vessel's final voyage to uncover the backstory behind the Borg's quest for Perfection.
Once again Voporak,

Welcome back to the queue. Your missions are 18th and 19th, respectively, behind Logitech007. I will review these missions as soon as I can.

Thanks for authoring,
Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details. Also see Evil 70th's list of missions at "Evil 70th's Missions".
Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 884
# 1017
08-09-2014, 08:53 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by rekurzion View Post
evil70th, I would really appreaciate an in depth review as you have time. This is my first mission and is meant as an Exploration Cluster mission with more oopmph than what Cryptic gave us in the past.

Mission Name: Explore Delta Volanis 4171C
Author: rekurzion
Minimum Level: 31+
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HARM78KB4
Estimated Mission Length: ~30-45mins

Subtitle is called: The Snare
Hi Rekurzion,

Welcome to the queue. Your mission is currently 20th in the queue behind voporak. I will get to your mission for review just as soon as I can.

Thanks for authoring,
Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details. Also see Evil 70th's list of missions at "Evil 70th's Missions".
Lieutenant
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 40
# 1018
08-10-2014, 02:38 PM
Hello evil70th,

Here is my first mission details:

Mission Name: Federation Spies
Author: Mignarde
Minimum Level: 45 to play, 50 to be comfortable
Allegiance: KDF
Project ID: ST-HCOWQGQM4
Estimated Mission Length: 30 minutes

You will be contacted by a Starfleet Intelligence service, so you need to be very careful that they are not trying to manipulate you.


Thanks for your time.

Last edited by mignarde; 08-11-2014 at 01:50 AM.
Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 884
# 1019
08-14-2014, 04:07 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by mignarde View Post
Hello evil70th,

Here is my first mission details:

Mission Name: Federation Spies
Author: Mignarde
Minimum Level: 45 to play, 50 to be comfortable
Allegiance: KDF
Project ID: ST-HCOWQGQM4
Estimated Mission Length: 30 minutes

You will be contacted by a Starfleet Intelligence service, so you need to be very careful that they are not trying to manipulate you.


Thanks for your time.
Hi Mignarde,

Welcome to the queue and the Foundry. Your mission is currently 20th in the queue behind rekurzion. I will get to your mission as soon as I can.

Thanks for authoring,
Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details. Also see Evil 70th's list of missions at "Evil 70th's Missions".
Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 884
Quote:
Originally Posted by starfarertheta View Post
When you have the time, could you please do a detailed review of these missions?:

___________________________________
The Unsung Mission
- Maelstrom -

Author: starfarertheta
ID: ST-HST5R3A34
Faction: Federation
Level: 41+
Length: 30-60 minutes long
Features:
- Story, - Branching Dialogue, - Large Scale Space and Ground Battles, - Bonus Objectives.

Description:
In the midst of a Borg invasion, chaos erupts in the Badlands as a task force from multiple factions clash for control over the conduit.

In the midst of this chaos, you must infiltrate the rogue Section 31 agent's base of operations in order to stop him, or anyone else from unleashing a plan of insanity, and you do not have much time.

Before that, however, you must deal with an impromptu situation courtesy of a sabotuer...
Federation Mission - The Unsung Mission - Maelstrom
Author: starfarertheta
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HST5R3A34

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: This is a good mission in the series and a nice wrap up to the story. The map designs were well done, the battles were tough but fun and the story dialogue was excellent. I would definitely recommend this mission and the series to other players.

The only issue that really bothered me was the warp out at the end of two of the maps. There was follow on dialogue but no warp effect. I felt you could have designed the dialogue to take place at the beginning of the next map with a warp effect taking place. The only map that might be hard to do this with is the Badlands map. I do think that would be a better use of that dialogue and the beginning of those two maps. If you do change it I would suggest you orient the maps objects to be west to east and use the Weather Starstreaks West East 01 effect. It works well at any speed.

Below are a few things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

Mission Description: This is a good description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.

Grant Mission Dialogue: This is a nice introduction but it needs more to draw the player in and make them want to click the 'Accept' button. Consider adding the follow on introduction dialogue that follows accepting the mission. It would address my concerns from above. Consider not using the acronym 'TUM' for the mission title. You should spell out the name. I like the option to review the previous mission and mechanics of your missions. If you are going to warn a player to be well equipped then tell them what they need, otherwise why bother. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

Mission Task: Your initial mission task should have the start location of your first custom map. I noted no spelling errors with this initial task.

Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt with the exception of your use of the acronym 'TUM' instead of the mission title. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.

MAPS:
The Unsung Battlefield (Act I)(Daise System): This is a good map with a fun battle and well written story dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The Penumbra Encounter dialogue; consider changing "[Rank] [Nickname], I am" to read "[Rank] [LastName], I am".
-I am not very fond of the warping out and the follow on dialogue with no warp effect. I feel like it detracts from the story. It would be better if you could build the next map with the player at warp with Weather Starstreaks West East 01 at the beginning of the next map.
-The Starfleet Fleetwide Broadcast dialogue; consider changing the acronym "ASAP" to read "as soon as possible". I suggest this because most likely a priority message would not have acronyms in it. Additionally "Fleet" and "wide" are two different words.

The Conduit (Act II, Part 1): This is a good map design with fun optional and required battles. The story dialogue is well written. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The Another Obstacle dialogue; consider changing "[Rank], It appears" to read "[Rank], it appears".

Conduit Station (Act II, Part II): This is a good map design with challenging but fun optional battles and well written story dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The initial dialogue; consider changing "[Rank], It looks like" to read "[Rank], it looks like".
-In some of the dialogue with the ship you have "[OOC](Static)[/OOC]" and in other you do not. Consider adding the [OOC] dialogue to those without.
-Consider changing the dialogue "[Rank], Tricorders are reading" to read "[Rank], tricorderís are reading"
-The Confrontation dialogue; consider changing "you've arrived too late [Nickname]" to read "you've arrived too late [LastName]".
-Consider changing "[ShipName] to [Rank] [Nickname]" to read "[ShipName] to [Rank] [LastName]".

The Conduit (Act III): This is a good map design with tough but fun battles and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Again I am not very fond of the warping out and the follow on dialogue with no warp effect. It would be better if you could build the next map with the player at warp with Weather Starstreaks West East 01 at the beginning of the next map.

Aftermath (Act IV): This is a good map design with excellent dialogue to wrap up the story. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The Starfleet Fleetwide Broadcast dialogue; consider changing the response button "*breathe sigh of relif*" to read "*breathe sigh of relief*".

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a great job developing this mission and the whole series. I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian

This critique report also filed 08/14/2014 on forum posting for: Starfarertheta's Foundry Missions
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details. Also see Evil 70th's list of missions at "Evil 70th's Missions".
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