Well now we've got the Epic Battle thread going, and it's moving at quite a fast pace...
But let's examine some of these combats in detail, and debate the feasibility of some of the answers.
Here's how this one will go.
I'll name a one-on-one combat between two real-life or fictional characters, living or dead. Then, we argue about who would win. I'll toss a point into the argument from time to time, so I'll be doing more than just moderating.
Now, the difference in this thread is I am the only one who's allowed to change the topic, so if I say "Batman vs. Scorpion," the topic is Batman vs Scorpion until I declare a winner (based on the arguments) and change the topic.
Topic changes will be marked in red. And bold. Maybe underlined too, who knows.
Anyway, let's begin. For the first topic, I'll rip one directly out of the other thread:
Mr. Clean vs. The Jolly Green Giant.
I propose that Mr. Clean wins this one. The Giant is big, and has a very large club, but Mr. Clean is a mystical floor-genie who can become two-dimensional at will and sneak up behind the Giant through the floor.
So Mr. Clean is basically a germophobe TF2 Spy? I can see the backstab, but it sounds kinda... odd.
The Jolly Green String-Bean does have strength, and Mr. Clean has his magical sponge-y kit, but when it comes down to it and you're surrounded by Klingons, whaddya reach for; Magical Spinach, or the Magic-Clean Eraser?
Neither, actually. I'd take out a Super Redhawk Revolver.
But anyways, I can't say which would win, but I'm leaning towards Mr. Giant.