Just tried your mission (twice actually, so I could have some useful feedback). I left a review on Tribble, but also wanted to leave some more extended comments here.
The humor did shock me a little at first. I really was ready for 15 cubes. I think I've really gotten used to my Boffs speaking without much personality. I've invested them with characters of their own, and that sometimes clashed with your dialogue. But then I decided to just enjoy and from then on it was a lot of fun. I think there's a place for lighthearted missions like this. I enjoyed the cleverness of the interactions you wrote.
I think whatever changes you made worked well in the ground portion. I had absolutely no trouble engaging one group at a time. I had to go back and get a stray Boff now and then, but that had absolutely nothing to do with the maps as you designed them. They mostly got stuck in ordinary doorways. There was an awful lot of Gorn in the final encounter. My Cap1 tac didn't have an issue with them. My LtC1 eng did go down along with one of his Boffs, but was able to call for help without respawning. That says to me the level is challenging without being impossible.
Probably the thing I enjoyed the most was the Gorn dialogue. It's only one pop-up, but I really liked the "sss"s. It took me back to the TOS Gorn. It's a little thing, but it really made the mission for me.
I did have a little problem with one of the objectives. Might just have been me though. I verified the trilithium in one of the two tanks, but didn't notice the other right beside it. I then when off to rescue the prisoners. I got through the last Gorn group, talked to the prisoners and then couldn't figure out how to take down the force fields. I finally realized there was one more tank to look at and went back. I found it, took care of the venting, etc. Then my Boff told me to find the humans (which I'd already done).
You might consider not making finding the tanks and rescuing the prisoners parallel objectives. That way, no one could repeat my mistake.
Finally, though the whole mission struck me as really well written, there were a few grammatical bits that I thought I'd mention. They didn't detract anything from my enjoyment and in fact I didn't even notice them during the first run through.
- "Fifteen Borg Cubes" doesn't need to be capitalized
- It should be "a class 4 warp engine" or "class 4 warp engines"
- It should be "an Earth Cargo Service vessel"
- "devastating" rather than "devestating"
- There should be a comma in "Lt Commander, we've got Gorn life signs"
- "aswell" should be "as well" in the popup just before you beam to the station
- I wasn't sure who the "Sir" in the response button in the popup after you speak to the prisoners referred to. At first, I thought the Boff and Capt dialogues had been mixed up. Then I thought it was the player character talking to the Capt of the freighter.