All these things are what make a fictional character human and that much more believable in my opinion.
It's the flawed characters that are more human, more realistic and more relateable to than characters who are always "awesome".
As for the children part: he never said he hated them.
He said he was in danger of making himself a fool in front of them.
He was smart enough to avoid a situation that would have probably been as bad for the children as it would have been for himself.
Also as we saw in episodes like "Disaster" where he was stuck with panicked children in a turbolift about tofall down, he had grown a lot during the shows.
But to grow you have to start out with something to grow from.
they were until STO changed it, so hardly his fault than a non canon game suggested he was wrong (and even then they might have been peaceful then. does not mean they have to be peaceful now.
Exactly. The STO Iconians may indeed have been the peaceful explorers that Picard speculated about. But having your homeworld bombarded into an uninhabitable wasteland (and it would be perfectly reasonable to assume millions of your own people being killed in the process) and the remnants of your civilization being forced to flee to distant worlds will provide plenty of motive for a change in attitude into a highly secretive mistrustful race of conquerors bent on revenge and redemption of your previous empire and homeland at the expense of the new races squatting on your ancestral property.
Just look at the Founders. They were feared, hated and hunt down by solids until they decided enough was enough, so they built the Dominion to keep all solids firmly under their heel.