Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
Welcome to my Foundry mission reviews for the month of May.


I only review missions that are on Holodeck, and only by request of the author. The review request must contain: the name of the mission, whether Starfleet or KDF, the minimum level requirement (if any), and can be made by PM or a post in this thread. Reviews will be done on a first come / first served basis, but KDF mission requests will take precedence since I receive so few of them.

I am reviewing stories. If your mission is incomplete, has little or no story, or is nothing but a combat grind-fest, you're going to get a low rating from me.

The Official Falcon Rating System

5 Stars = Citizen Kane with Phasers.
4 Stars = As good or better as the best Dev written missions.
3 Stars = Good. Of equal quality to most of the in-game content.
2 Stars = Borg archaeologists looking for artifacts of their Third Dynasty.
1 Star = Highlander 2 with Phasers.

And, just in case it comes up during the discussion, The Foundry - End User License Agreement

My first mission review thread, with the reviews that I did between March 29th and April 25th, 2011, is here
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 2
05-09-2011, 03:20 PM
May Mission Reviews:

51 - Peace at Last? 4 Stars
52 - Sha Ka Ree and Gre'thor 2 Stars
53 - Into The Lions Den 3 Stars
54 - Murder On The Homefront 3 Stars
55 - Eyes Only 2 Stars
56 - Hold the Line 4 Stars
57 - Mirror Images 3 Stars
58 - Old Friends in Need 3 Stars
59 - Prototype 3 Stars
60 - Bad Blood 3 Stars
61 - Ship Happens 2 Stars
62 - The Desert Voles 3 Stars
63 - Audacious Aground 5 Stars
64 - Reflections 4 Stars
65 - The Winter of Our Discontent 4 Stars
66 - KCM - Trouble at Starbase A14 1 Star
67 - Two Cloaks, One Dagger 4 Stars
68 - To Free or Not to Free 5 Stars
69 - Unholy Alliances II 3 Stars
70 - Photonen im Eis 4 Stars
71 - Personal Reflection 4 Stars
72 - Fek'Ihri Attack 1 Star
73 - Rescue the S.S. Escargot 2 Stars
74 - White Malice 3 Stars
75 - Memory Lane 4 Stars
76 - The Second To Last Outpost 2 Stars
77 - A Day For The Assassin 1 Star
78 - Shadow War - Mist in the Night 3 Stars
79 - Franklin Drake Must Die 4 Stars
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 3
05-09-2011, 03:27 PM

Peace at Last?
by neotom52345

"The end of the war between the Federation and the Klingons may be in sight. The Deferi have agreed to host a conference between the two warring factions. However, tensions are running high, and one faction may not be so keen about this peace conference...."

Final Rating: 4 Stars

You're tasked to run security for a diplomatic conference at Defera. After being briefed on the situation by the Federation ambassador, you beam down to the conference room.

Once there you speak with the Deferi that's running the conference and then you have an opportunity to actually go around and set up security details. When you're ready the ambassadors from both sides beam down.

Before the negotiations really start, your ship calls, a Breen fleet is attacking. Your team, along with security personnel from your ship, fight off Breen soldiers. Then you're tasked to get to the Federation Ambassador's shuttle to retrieve classified documents. Exiting the building, you assist the Klingon security troops in fighting more Breen attackers, and make your way to the ambassador's shuttle.

The shuttle explodes and you're unable to locate the documents in the wreckage, so you beam up to your ship and help the fleet fight off the rest of the Breen fleet.

Problems with the mission: A couple of typos. Such as, after speaking with the ambassadors "receiving and incoming" should be "receiving an incoming."

There were a few problems that I did not mark down for, as they may be bugs or things beyond the author's control:

When calling in security, the beam in FX didn't happen with the two groups in the room.
When speaking to the ambassadors I typed in the air and made computer bleeps.
Was a Devidian supposed to beam in with the Breen? A bug perhaps?
It was odd that the two UGC contacts typing at the center consoles ignored the battle and just kept typing. I guess they had a deadline.
When I went to scan the wreckage of the shuttle the interact bar said; "Interact."

Final Thoughts: It was a simple story, but very well done. While there were obvious hooks for a sequel, this mission stands well on its own. I especially like how it seemed that I really was in charge of the conference security, and the decisions that I made actually affected the outcome of the mission.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 4
05-09-2011, 03:29 PM
Why did you create a new thread instead of using your old one?
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 5
05-09-2011, 03:51 PM

Sha Ka Ree and Gre'thor
by shamrockduck

"P'Jem is under siege by an alien force never before encountered by Starfleet, and it's up to you to stop them!"

Final Rating: 2 Stars

Starfleet has lost contact with the monastery on P'Jem and wants you to respond code 3. Warping into the system you realize that you need to destroy 5/5 enemy ships. After taking the enemy ships out, your engineer is able to pierce the dampening field and beam you down.

On the surface you find yourself in a forest in a dark night with heavy mist. Then you run around, rescuing the monks and fighting the bad guys, in a forest, in the dark, in thick heavy mist.

After killing dozens and dozens of enemies, in a dark forest at night in heavy mist, you are able to find and deactivate the dampening field generator. Your team and the rescued survivors beam back up to the ship.

Problems with the mission: The mission door (P'Jem) is not shown in the Mission Tracker. I mark down for this. The player needs to be able to find the mission even if they go AFK or forget what was written in the blurb or mission accept windows.

Defeat unidentified ships (0/5). Without a definite reason this just feels like it's dragging out the mission for no reason.

On the planet's surface it's night in the middle of a forest filled with thick mist. I was constantly bumping into rocks and trees that I couldn't see. Several times I was stuck in between several objects and couldn't see why or how to get out. This was extremely frustrating and a major mark down. What player wants to play a game that they can't even see?

There were way WAY too many enemies on the ground. It did nothing to advance the story, and after killing wave after wave after wave of them for absolutely no reason it just got boring. Zillions of enemies is not a substitute for a good story.

Final Thoughts: No story or plot advancement. Why did they attack P'Jem? I don't know. Why was the area covered with mist? I don't know. Why were they guarding the transport dampener? I don't know. Since when did the monastery get a transport dampener? I don't know. Why not? Because nothing that happened was explained. I get that this is part 1 or 2, but there has to be at least some plot advancement in part 1.

What saved this from 1 Star was the dialog, those parts where I spoke to the NPCs about the situation. These bits of text are well written and make it clear that the author can write. Text could be added in a few spots that would explain some of the story and plot to the player.

Doing that, and fixing the inability to see the entire time the player is on the planet's surface, would add at least a full star to the rating.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 6
05-09-2011, 04:11 PM
Like the forum rules say, please do not create duplicate threads.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 7
05-09-2011, 04:35 PM

Into The Lions Den
by QuanZen

"Remember the Koybayashi Maru? Well that was just one of many Starfleet Simulations that a Starfleet Cadet must face."

Final Rating: 3 Stars

This is mission is a holodeck training mission for a Starfleet cadet. In this simulation, you and your fellow cadets, designated Extraction Team Bravo, will beam down to Rura Penthe. Your mission: link up with Team Alpha, free Starfleet prisoners, and successfully extract from the area of operations.

You beam down into a snow storm. You locate Alpha's damaged shuttle and are attacked by the local wildlife. You enter the prison facility and, fight your way through to where Alpha is holed up. Both teams are ambushed on the way to the extraction point, but you finally reach it and are beamed up to your ship.

Once there you find out that it's overrun with Klingon boarding parties. You split up and fight your way to Engineering. Once there, the bridge calls and informs you that they're under attack and need help getting the shields refreshed. The engineer walks you through the process and the shields are restored.

Then you head to the shuttle bay to deal with the remaining Klingon soldiers. Afterward, you use your command codes to override the security lock-out so you can take the turbo lift to the bridge.

Once there you take command of the ship and disable the waiting Klingon ships. You set the transwarp gate to blow right after you enter it so that the Klingons can't follow you back to Federation space.

After exiting the holodeck, the Admiral who's been observing the training simulation, critiques your performance and informs you that you've done well.

Problems with the mission: Mission door was not shown in the Mission Tracker.

Survive Mastiff Packs (0/3) Really? Clear cave of enemies (0/3) These are unnecessary, and only serve to make the mission seem longer for no apparent reason.

Some typos - Mission Objective: Kill reaining boarding party & "Myself and the majority of my staff was"? No, I and were.

The engineer tells me to take the shields offline, but the interact bar says I'm taking the Warp Core offline. Which one is it? Then the engineer calls me back and is shocked that I just took the shields offline. What? You just told me to take the shields offline and now you're surprised that the shields are offline?!?!

Final Thoughts: With the exception of a few mistakes, the story and dialog are good. This mission does a good job of being what it's billed as: a training simulation for a Starfleet cadet.

The two biggest things that prevented me from giving this mission 4 stars were not putting the mission door in the Mission Tracker as the first objective and this.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 8
05-09-2011, 04:40 PM
It's not a duplicate thread. The previous thread had nothing to do with May reviews.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 9
05-09-2011, 05:55 PM
Originally Posted by Inquizitor View Post
It's not a duplicate thread. The previous thread had nothing to do with May reviews.

It's sometimes best to break down long-term projects into digestible sizes. This thread is just May reviews; the last one was just April/March
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 10
05-09-2011, 06:25 PM
Good to see you back up and running with the reviews, PF.

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