Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 21
05-11-2011, 06:18 PM
STARFLEET Level 46+

Hold the Line
ST-HSDDYCCYD
by Flashmanandy

"Tasked with a medical mission at Starbase 24, things soon get out of hand."

Final Rating: 4 Stars

Synopsis:
Upon warping in to the area of Starbase 24 you're greeted by the Admiral and offered the choice of dining with him or providing medical assistance to wounded officers aboard several damaged ships.

After beaming medical supplies aboard the damaged ships, you receive a warning that a Romulan fleet is incoming. You call for reinforcements and rendezvous with elements of 6th Fleet right before the Romulan fleet enters the system.

Once the battle is over you receive intelligence regarding Romulan activity in the Pilatus system and head there to investigate. At Pilatus you find several damaged Romulan ships and something starts affecting the minds of your own crew. Your science officer comes up with a solution to block the mental influence and then several Undine vessels enter the system.

You destroy the Undine attackers, but a group of Undine beams directly into your ready room. Security helps you defeat the boarders and then you disarm the device they brought aboard with them.

Problems with the mission: The mission door was not shown in the Mission Tracker. I rate missions down for this. What if a player forgets what he read in the previous windows? What if the player has to go AFK or log out of the game entirely? If the player can't find your mission they're not likely to give it a good rating when they drop it. The location of the mission door must be the first objective.

Why does the Admiral offer to dine with me if there are wounded officers that need immediate assistance?

When heading for the rendezvous at the beacon I had to get so close to the beacon that my ship was almost touching it before the pop up appeared.

A couple of misspellings. It's "out of sight", not "out of site."

Final Thoughts: The author did a good job giving personalities to everyone involved, including my own bridge officers. The story is a but short, but well done, and the author does a good job of explaining why everything happened without excessive text.

With one exception. The obvious animosity between the vulcan admiral and my captain wasn't explained. So I found myself wondering the entire time why my captain had such a problem with him. The author should have made a point of specifically explaining that I'd met the admiral before and/or exactly why I have a problem with him.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 22
05-11-2011, 06:23 PM
Do I need to request a mission review every month? Also, are you reviewing any mission, or just the ones that need a review to go live to the community authored portion of the foundry?
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 23
05-11-2011, 06:59 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ddommus View Post
Do I need to request a mission review every month? Also, are you reviewing any mission, or just the ones that need a review to go live to the community authored portion of the foundry?
Not at all. Your mission, "The Winter of our Discontent" is still on my list. I know that it's been a number of weeks since you've requested the review and that's exactly why I've worked on streamlining the review process.


And to other posters:

The purpose of my reviews is to point out flaws in the mission, whether they are typos or plot holes, so that the author can fix those flaws and improve their missions.

My ratings and final thoughts are my opinion and I've never presented them as anything else. Are people going to disagree with my opinion? Of course they are. As always, if you don't like my reviews you're free to not read them.

You should know that if you hear an arrogant "tone of voice" in your head when you read my reviews, realize that you're the one who's putting that there, not I.

Also, while my German isn't good enough to correct a native speaker, I can and have reviewed German missions.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 24
05-11-2011, 07:12 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Peregrine_Falcon View Post
The purpose of my reviews is to point out flaws in the mission, whether they are typos or plot holes, so that the author can fix those flaws and improve their missions.
I thought the purpose of a review was to point out both the good and the bad. And yes, I have seen you do this in your reviews. I just find it interesting you do not mention anything except the flaws in your statement above.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 25
05-12-2011, 01:14 AM
Seems like you have a huge list to work off.
Can you give us a number or even better a list of upcoming reviews?
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 26
05-12-2011, 05:29 PM
STARFLEET Level 31+

Mirror Images
ST-HH3O7NFEU
by SenatorCato

"You get an easy mission from the Adjutant of Admiral Marcus P. Cato. You should only check an Asteroid Base in the Aihai System (Iota Pavonis Sector) there you can see some Images do you like what you see ?....."

Final Rating: 3 Stars

Synopsis:
You trying hailing the base as your approach the system, but receive no answer. Dropping out of warp, you scan the area near the base and locate a spacial anomaly that's being supported from the base.

As your science officer is evaluating the data, a squadron of ships comes through the anomaly from the mirror universe. After blowing them into opposite particles the base finally decides they want to talk, and they inform you that they are ready for your inspection.

Beaming over to the base, you see the Terran Empire personnel, who've obviously mistaken you for one of their own, standing ready for inspection. During your inspection you sabotage the equipment that's maintaining the nearby anomaly and then beam back to your ship. A quick deflector pulse collapses the weakened anomaly, but not before several more Terran Empire ships come through. A group of Starfleet ships shows up, and together you stop this latest invasion.

Once that fight is over, the admiral asks you to beam aboard his flagship for debrief and cocktails.

Problems with the mission: This mission is written in German and in English. There are numerous minor problems with the translation, but since the author informed me that English is not his native language, I did not mark down for this. While there are too many mistakes for me to list them all here, I'll just remind the author that in English I is always capitalized but nouns aren't unless they're names.

Unfortunately I cannot comment on the mistakes I noticed in the German text.

Immediately after I finished the first battle the base calls and mistakes me for one of their own. Did they not notice that I just blew up a bunch of their ships?

A number of the interact bars just say "Interact."

In episodes regarding them, the Terran Empire has always had far better security than the Federation. So why didn't anyone notice when I sabotaged their generators?

While in the base I felt like my bridge officers were ordering me around the whole time.

I was surprised when the Starfleet ships showed up, who called them?

Final Thoughts: The inspection was well done. I felt like an Admiral conducting an inspection.

The story was good overall with one exception, I never found out what the Terran Empire personnel were trying to do. Why did they take over that base? Why there and not in Federation or Cardassian space, where we usually see them? Were they trying to accomplish something in particular, or were they just trying to invade the Federation again? A few lines of text explaining this would have tied up this major plot point.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 27
05-12-2011, 08:00 PM
STARFLEET

Old Friends in Need
ST-HB8ZNYTSB
by JasonDLT

"One of the most famous ships in StarFleet has gone missing with a special dignatary aboard. With the fate of Vulcan and the Romulan colonies hanging in the balance - find the ship, defeat the Romulan captors and help save some old friends."

Final Rating: 3 Stars

Synopsis:
After beaming down to ESD, Admiral Zanzaba briefs you on the disappearance of the Enterprise-E. Ambassador Picard was aboard on a sensitive mission.

You head to the Enterprise's last known location, the Vulcan system, to search for her. Warping into the system you immediately find yourself in a cloud of debris from Enterprise. I guess the Vulcans didn't find an attack on a Starfleet ship important enough to call Starfleet about.

After destroying the Romulan vessels that suddenly decloak around you, you're called by a vulcan ambassador who informs you that they sat around and watched while the Romulans attacked Enterprise and then towed her away. At least they tracked her to the Great Bloom, so that's the next destination.

Arriving at the Great Bloom you immediately pick the Enterprise up on sensors. You approach her and destroy the Romulan ships guarding her, but the ship itself is overrun with Romulans.

You beam into Main Engineering and take out the Romulans there. After disabling the auto-destruct sequence, and locking command functions out, you head toward the bridge. After clearing the corridors of Romulan intruders, you take the turbolift to the bridge and quickly depopulate it. Speaking to the ship's wounded first officer, you find that Picard, Data and a lot of Enterprise's crew was beamed down to the planet's surface by their Romulan captors.

Beaming down to the surface, you quickly free an number of Enterprise officers and crewmen, and find the entrance to the underground base where Ambassador Picard is being held. You sweep and clear the underground base of Romulans and then encounter the boss who's screaming furiously about Ambassador Picard being beamed out right in front of them just seconds ago. Then you enter the room and take down his crew, but find that the boss has beamed back to his ship.

Upon returning to your ship, you blow the Romulan boss out of the sky and save Enterprise.

Problems with the mission: Section 31 is hiding the Admiral? Starfleet Security or even Starfleet Intelligence should be doing that. Section 31 doesn't officially exist and if they did I'd have to arrest them for violation of many counts of Starfleet regulations and Federation law.

How did the Romulans get past border security and all the way to Vulcan? Remember if they can do that then they could warp right into Sol, and so could the Klingons.

Several times I zoned in directly in to one or more groups of enemies. Camping the spawn point is not cool no matter who does it.

The Romulans activated the auto-destruct sequence? The passcoded, voice-authorization only auto-destruct sequence?

The planetoid was a class what?

Why are the Romulans just standing around outdoors with their prisoners? Do they not have cells?

A few minor misspellings.

Final Thoughts: The author did an excellent job of not breaking the EULA, by not showing either Captain Data or Ambassador Picard, and by doing it in a way that made sense.

While a little combat heavy, this is an excellent story that I really wanted to rate with 4 stars. The numerous problems, which are minor and should be easily fixed, prevented me from doing so.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 28
05-13-2011, 01:33 AM
Review Request:

Name: Memory Lane
Lvl Req.: 31+
Faction: Fed
Author: Bazag
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 29
05-13-2011, 06:23 AM
STARFLEET

Prototype
ST-HR37RV6PN
by Pentavrit

"A distress call is received from a research colony on Andoria. You are dispatched by Starfleet Command to urgently investigate."

Final Rating: 3 Stars

Synopsis:
Dropping out of warp, you're immediately asked to investigate a forming subspace rupture. Once you get close to the rupture you discover a disabled Borg cube.

Your bridge officers recommend that you proceed with caution, until you see several explosions blow out the sides of the cube, then they suddenly want you to beam over to the cube and investigate.

You wonder around scanning and trying to hack into borg consoles until you set off the security alarms. Now you have to fight your way past the Borg until you find a device that will transport you to the new node.

After transporting, you have to cut down the borg guarding the new node. Examination determines how this new node accidentally brought the cube to Andoria. Instead of beaming the node out, so that you can turn the it over to Starfleet R&D, you decide to beam back to your ship so that you can destroy the borg cube.

The borg cube goes active and attacks your ship. Then you find out that several borg beamed down to a research base on the surface of Andoria. After beaming down and helping local security take out the borg invaders you head back to the ship and fire off a deflector pulse that seals the rupture shut.

Problems with the mission: The mission door is not shown in the Mission Tracker.

A research colony on Andoria? Andoria isn't a colony world. It's the homeworld of the Andorians and has almost a billion inhabitants. And where's the Imperial Guard and their hundreds of warships?

That ship is inactive, I see portions of it exploding and you want me to beam over there? Ok, just let me grab my Idiot Ball and I'll be ready to go.

Wait! Why are we going to site to site transport? Where are we transporting to? A new node? What do I care about a new node?

The Borg beamed part of their ship down with them? And it's already fused with the surroundings? Already? They've been on the surface for about 60 whole seconds.

Final Thoughts: A straightforward mission that does an excellent job of explaining how the Borg could reach Andoria. However it really suffers from a number of minor plot holes that really pile up, and could have been solved with only a little better dialog from the bridge officers.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 30
05-13-2011, 07:07 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Peregrine_Falcon View Post
You should know that if you hear an arrogant "tone of voice" in your head when you read my reviews, realize that you're the one who's putting that there, not I.
Nothing says "I"m not arrogant" like a condescending statemeng
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