Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 61
05-18-2011, 02:43 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by MKitsune View Post
Hopefully I'll be able to FINALLY finish it and be able to ask if you can give it a private review (spoilers, you know) sometime soon.
Well I'm not doing private reviews, but you may have noticed that this month I've been writing synopsis' that are shorter and less spoilerific.

Quote:
Originally Posted by BorrowedTune
PF is going soft on us. There are now two 5 star reviews within 2 pages of this thread! What's the deal?
Yeah! What's up with that? I'm gonna have to start cracking down!

Seriously though, the missions that came up on my list were just really good ones.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Commodore_Stipe
PF, are you taking any more requests at this time? If so let me know.
I am indeed. Says so right in the OP.

In fact, my primary review list is getting a little short. I may finally be able to start on my secondary list (second missions for the same author) pretty soon.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 62
05-18-2011, 04:00 PM
Thank you for the review, PF. I just went back in and found those spelling errors, thank you. I also removed one of the consoles on the Cube. I actually ported that mission over from it's original version on Tribble while in the middle of writing another one. I haven't advertised it at all, really. I'm surprised you even knew it was there. lol. I'm very glad you enjoyed it, and now that you have reviewed it, maybe some others might try it out. It's freshly republished. Thanks again.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 63
05-18-2011, 10:54 PM
My friend Visual-Echo is hardly on due to being a new Dad, so could you review his Federation mission Quantum Twist? I believe you have to be RA5 to do it. The in progress box says Lt1, but not sure if you can do it at that level. We tested it with our VA characters.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 64
05-21-2011, 10:43 AM
Hi PF,
Did you miss my Fek'Ihri Attack?
ID: ST-HQW994SR8
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 65
05-21-2011, 08:51 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sophia
Hi PF,
Did you miss my Fek'Ihri Attack?
ID: ST-HQW994SR8
Not at all, in fact it's currently #4 on my list.

And, I know that I haven't posted any reviews in the last couple of days. I haven't forgotten about this or gotten bored with it, I've just been extremely busy the last few days. I'll start posting more reviews tomorrow.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 66
05-22-2011, 03:09 PM
STARFLEET

Unholy Alliances II
ST-HS4HSJPFQ
by soriedem

"It's up to you to investigate the Claw presence in the system, acquire the decryption algorithm, and foil their plans; whatever they may be."

Final Rating: 3 Stars

Synopsis:
This mission is the sequel to Unholy Alliances I.

The unencrypted portion of the data that you acquired in the first episode leads you to a hidden base in the Otha system. After warping into the system your medical officer informs you that the personnel that you rescued into the first episode have been examined and have been assigned quarters.

After engaging several patrols of Claw vessels, you find a captured Starfleet vessel that is being refurbished, and beam over to investigate. You encounter several security patrols while you search for a console that is online that you can get data from. You discover that they're using a lot of power for some reason and set out to find out why, and how to shut it down. After downloading the decryption algorithm that you came for, you head to the bridge. There you encounter even more weirdness, but you manage to secure the bridge, shut down the dampening field and activate the self-destruct sequence.

Upon beaming back to your ship you find the transporter chief is gravely wounded and an attempt to seize your ship is in progress. You fight your way through the boarders and take down their commander. Attempting to shut down the machine they were using to control the ship presents some serious risks to your own health when you have no choice but to use it to fight off the last of the Claw operatives in the system.

Problems with the mission: Aboard the captured Starfleet ship a number of the interact bars simply said "interact."

When I took the dampening field offline in engineering why did I float as if the gravity was off too?

Having ships spawn directly on top of mine, literally, is never excusable.

Having to search for and click on consoles over and over again started to seem like the mission was being drug out for no good reason.

Some of the advice popups from my bridge officers really made me feel like they were talking down to me.

If they're trying to blend in so they can infiltrate my ship they why were they disguising themselves as Borg and various other strange things?

Final Thoughts: It was a good story, the dialog from the transporter chief in particular was excellent, but overall there were too many things not explained.

And I never got to find out what their plans were. What exactly did I foil?
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 67
05-22-2011, 04:42 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Peregrine_Falcon View Post
STARFLEET

Old Friends in Need
ST-HB8ZNYTSB
by JasonDLT

"One of the most famous ships in StarFleet has gone missing with a special dignatary aboard. With the fate of Vulcan and the Romulan colonies hanging in the balance - find the ship, defeat the Romulan captors and help save some old friends."

Final Rating: 3 Stars

Synopsis:
After beaming down to ESD, Admiral Zanzaba briefs you on the disappearance of the Enterprise-E. Ambassador Picard was aboard on a sensitive mission.

You head to the Enterprise's last known location, the Vulcan system, to search for her. Warping into the system you immediately find yourself in a cloud of debris from Enterprise. I guess the Vulcans didn't find an attack on a Starfleet ship important enough to call Starfleet about.

After destroying the Romulan vessels that suddenly decloak around you, you're called by a vulcan ambassador who informs you that they sat around and watched while the Romulans attacked Enterprise and then towed her away. At least they tracked her to the Great Bloom, so that's the next destination.

Arriving at the Great Bloom you immediately pick the Enterprise up on sensors. You approach her and destroy the Romulan ships guarding her, but the ship itself is overrun with Romulans.

You beam into Main Engineering and take out the Romulans there. After disabling the auto-destruct sequence, and locking command functions out, you head toward the bridge. After clearing the corridors of Romulan intruders, you take the turbolift to the bridge and quickly depopulate it. Speaking to the ship's wounded first officer, you find that Picard, Data and a lot of Enterprise's crew was beamed down to the planet's surface by their Romulan captors.

Beaming down to the surface, you quickly free an number of Enterprise officers and crewmen, and find the entrance to the underground base where Ambassador Picard is being held. You sweep and clear the underground base of Romulans and then encounter the boss who's screaming furiously about Ambassador Picard being beamed out right in front of them just seconds ago. Then you enter the room and take down his crew, but find that the boss has beamed back to his ship.

Upon returning to your ship, you blow the Romulan boss out of the sky and save Enterprise.

Problems with the mission: Section 31 is hiding the Admiral? Starfleet Security or even Starfleet Intelligence should be doing that. Section 31 doesn't officially exist and if they did I'd have to arrest them for violation of many counts of Starfleet regulations and Federation law.

How did the Romulans get past border security and all the way to Vulcan? Remember if they can do that then they could warp right into Sol, and so could the Klingons.

Several times I zoned in directly in to one or more groups of enemies. Camping the spawn point is not cool no matter who does it.

The Romulans activated the auto-destruct sequence? The passcoded, voice-authorization only auto-destruct sequence?

The planetoid was a class what?

Why are the Romulans just standing around outdoors with their prisoners? Do they not have cells?

A few minor misspellings.

Final Thoughts: The author did an excellent job of not breaking the EULA, by not showing either Captain Data or Ambassador Picard, and by doing it in a way that made sense.

While a little combat heavy, this is an excellent story that I really wanted to rate with 4 stars. The numerous problems, which are minor and should be easily fixed, prevented me from doing so.
Peregrine_Falcon, thanks so much for taking the time to review my mission. I'll consider the questions you raised and see if I can find answers.

Quote:
Section 31 is hiding the Admiral? Starfleet Security or even Starfleet Intelligence should be doing that. Section 31 doesn't officially exist and if they did I'd have to arrest them for violation of many counts of Starfleet regulations and Federation law.
I always thought Section 31 WAS Starfleet Intelligence...even the super covert version of it. I thought S31 was the Fed's Tal Shiar or Obsiidian Order.

Quote:
How did the Romulans get past border security and all the way to Vulcan? Remember if they can do that then they could warp right into Sol, and so could the Klingons.
I'm not sure off the top of my head, but I think I stated in my text that it was a mystery how they got there - a new version of the cloaking device that could infiltrate the border security. I'll need to check my text on that.

Quote:
The Romulans activated the auto-destruct sequence? The passcoded, voice-authorization only auto-destruct sequence?
Those Roms are very crafty... >:-)

Quote:
The planetoid was a class what?

Why are the Romulans just standing around outdoors with their prisoners? Do they not have cells?

A few minor misspellings.
I'll have to check these three out. I thought I listed the class for the planet...maybe I meant to and forgot.

I have no good reason why the Roms are outside guarding the prisoners...its a good question though. Not enough space on their base?

I'll try to track those down and fix them.

Thanks again, I really appreciate you doing this. I've always enjoyed your reviews and I knew you weren't into combat heavy missions so I was a little worried you wouldn't dig it.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 68
05-23-2011, 06:25 AM
STARFLEET

Photonen im Eis
ST-HOZOL38NX
by timeras13

"A conflict is coming to the Andoria system. The Federation sent the USS Tribute out to support the Andorian government. Help the Tribute to stabilize the political situation and quash any rebellion."

Final Rating: 4 Stars

Synopsis: This mission is entirely in German.
It's also the sequel to Photonen im Wind.

Immediately upon warping into the system you're warned to turn around and leave, and then attacked by unknown ships. Afterward, you beam aboard the Tribute and are briefed on the situation by the Admiral.

Your ships head to a communcations satellite and use it to find a hidden base of the "Free Andoria" extremists. Once at the base you're attacked again by the FA ships, but after dealing with them, and decyphering the code, you beam into the base.

You search the base for information, encountering only light resistance, before beaming back up to your ship. After dealing with another attacking ship you beam back aboard the Admiral's ship. His team can't decode all of the data and decide to load it into their holodeck. Guess who gets to go in and see what's there?

In the holodeck you run around gathering clues and being attacked, the safety protocols have been disengaged of course.

You finally manage to find the needed encryption key which you return to the Admiral. He informs you that while they can certainly decode it, it will take several weeks.

Problems with the mission: The mission door is not listed in the Mission Tracker.

So while I'm being attacked by the Free Andoria ships where are the hundreds of Imperial Guard ships? Andoria isn't a border world, it's a core world and founding member of the Federation. There should be dozens of Starfleet vessels and at least dozens of Imperial Guard ships. Where are they?

This mission has a lot of popups, many of which are only single sentences. Consolidating many of these will convey the same information but not make the mission feel so long and drawn out.

Final Thoughts: This mission is quite a bit longer than my abridged sysnopsis indicates. Although I suspect that much of that was because I read German much slower than English.

While the end seemed a bit anti-climactic, the plot makes sense and all of the plot points, except for one, are explained by the end. That one being: how does this kind of thing keep happening in core worlds? These central worlds of the Federation have hundreds, if not thousands, of ships patroling their star systems. A small time terrorist organization shouldn't be able to fly freely around in these systems.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 69
05-23-2011, 09:02 PM
Well, I'm done tweaking for now (until the Foundry gets new tools that let me make major changes), so I believe it's ready for review:

Franklin Drake Must Die
Starfleet
Any level

Mission thread is here, if anybody wants to give direct feedback without threadjacking PF:

http://forums.startrekonline.com/sho...d.php?t=213347
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 70
05-24-2011, 07:41 AM
STARFLEET

Personal Reflection
ST-HIN4MU3TR
by XR-377

"Things are not as they seem aboard the U.S.S. Khitomer and due to your history with the vessel you have been asked to investigate. However, the secrets she hides may lead to far more than a personal reflection..."

Final Rating: 4 Stars

Synopsis:
Commander Tafeng in ESD briefs you on the situation and then it's off to Vega to search for the Khitomer.

A search of the system reveals the Khitomer in battle. After helping her fight off the attackers she warps out of the system. You set off in pursuit and find her disabled. A scan shows that she's seriously damaged and also reveals something unusual. You beam over to investigate of course.

You beam into cargo hold full of Borg technology and are attacked by Khitomer's security personnel. After dealing with them, and helping their engineer shut down a Borg transmitter, you head to Main Engineering. Once there you take down more security personnel and disable more Borg devices.

Your ship calls, as you're on the way to Khitomer's bridge, to inform you that several Borg ships have arrived and are attacking. Once on the bridge you find that Captain Qat'Amnek has been assimilated. After clearing all of the Borg from the bridge, you beam back to your ship.

After engaging the Borg ships to protect the Khitomer you receive a call from the Khitomer's new captain thanking you for your assistance. He explains how he's been inspired to follow in your footsteps right before activating another Borg device, and then the Khitomer vanishes.

Problems with the mission: After leaving ESD I wasn't told what sector to go to. That's a big problem. How are people supposed to play the mission if they can't find the mission door?

It's never explained how or why the Romulans were involved. Nor what the Khitomer was trying to accomplish in the first place.

Several misspellings throughout the mission.

Final Thoughts: Excellent story. Great dialog and the dialog options were a nice touch.

I really wanted to give it 5 stars, but I was never told what sector the mission door was in, I ended up having to look it up online. That fact, combined with the other minor problems, was enough to cost this mission its otherwise deserved fifth star.
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