Prev Previous Post   Next Post Next
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 17
05-24-2011, 03:14 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by mygod_itsfullofstars

Kali-fal

I liked the alternate beginning story--not back to Vega. I also liked the way you set the context. Just a quick grammatical note: it should be "ground" not "grinded." Lastly, you might change the way you refer to the Andorian. I know this is soft canon, but I've occassionally heard that Andorians have 4 genders. If you added some reference to that, it might up the Trekiness of your story.
Nice catch! I have to admit I did my story when I was really, really tired. And I'm really bad about proofreading my own writing.

And yeah, I did consider adding in the 'proper' (albeit soft canon) gender name for the andorian, but I wanted to make it understandable to the average reader who may not know the various genders of the andorian people, and might have been confused. Although if I do something similar in the future, I might phrase it a bit better to include both the Trek term and equate it with a real world term.
 

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:51 AM.