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Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 21
10-13-2011, 03:04 PM
Choose your ensign. Wesley Crusher or Justin Bieber?
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 22
10-13-2011, 04:02 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by JCSWW View Post
Choose your ensign. Wesley Crusher or Justin Bieber?
Neither....

Both would be used as torpedoes on my ship....

That way they both could do the final bit of damage to anything. :p
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 23
10-13-2011, 04:04 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by JCSWW View Post
Choose your ensign. Wesley Crusher or Justin Bieber?
Ro Laren. She can keep the spoon heads off my ship.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 24
10-13-2011, 05:37 PM
The thingy won't ready until Tuesday
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 25
10-14-2011, 01:36 AM
"Captain [PLAYER NAME GOES HERE], I hereby promote you to Rear Admiral. Congratulations."
"Thank you, Admiral Quinn. I am honored."
"Back in the days, Admiral was mostly a desk job. But these days, we need every man on a ship out there to protect Federation interests.
As an Admiral, you can pick freely any ship as your flagship you want, you know that, Rear Admiral?"
"Yes, Sir. I already have an idea on that."
"Oh, wait, I see you're listed as officer of the silver reserve fleet. When I meant "freely", that of course still means you have to gather 20,000 Dilithium for us."
"Oh. That's a bummer."
"But you know what, if you think about it, you're only getting dated junk that way anyway. I really recommend you to go to the C-Store and buy one of our Premium ships... *hesitates* Oh you know what, this dialogs sucks and makes no sense. C-Store? Whatever. I won't continue acting this role until your dialog guys sorted this out, okay. I'll be in my trailer."
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 26
10-14-2011, 02:08 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by MustrumRidcully View Post
"Captain [PLAYER NAME GOES HERE], I hereby promote you to Rear Admiral. Congratulations."
"Thank you, Admiral Quinn. I am honored."
"Back in the days, Admiral was mostly a desk job. But these days, we need every man on a ship out there to protect Federation interests.
As an Admiral, you can pick freely any ship as your flagship you want, you know that, Rear Admiral?"
"Yes, Sir. I already have an idea on that."
"Oh, wait, I see you're listed as officer of the silver reserve fleet. When I meant "freely", that of course still means you have to gather 20,000 Dilithium for us."
"Oh. That's a bummer."
"But you know what, if you think about it, you're only getting dated junk that way anyway. I really recommend you to go to the C-Store and buy one of our Premium ships... *hesitates* Oh you know what, this dialogs sucks and makes no sense. C-Store? Whatever. I won't continue acting this role until your dialog guys sorted this out, okay. I'll be in my trailer."
Epic win!

*puts a coin in the rapidly filling Epic Jar*
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 27
10-14-2011, 09:28 AM
*Borg Cube, 2 Borg Spheres, and 3 Borg Probes appear on the viewscreen*

Ensign Ricky: "Vice Admiral! Borg ships dead ahead!"

Vice Admiral Jean-Luc Hikaru Archer-Kirk: *mutters to self* "Not yet they aren't... But soon™..."

Hyper-Inappropriately Attired Female Bridge Officer: "Vice Admiral! The Borg are hailing us!"

VAdm Archer-Kirk: *ogles H-IAFBOff, then mutters to self* "Oh, this should be good..."
*louder, in response... Rests head in hands* "Open the channel, Commander..."

Borg Voices: "We are the Borg. Resistance is..."

VAdm Archer-Kirk: *waves hand dismissively and looks up* "Yeah, yeah, yeah... We know... 'Resistance is futile, blah, blah, blah'... Let me explain just how 'futile'... *does the air 'quotation marks' gesture* ...our resistance has been... Ensign Ricky, at last count, how many Borg ships have we destroyed, just in the last six months?"

Ensign Ricky: *taps on his console for a few seconds, then looks up* "Well, sir, it's either 3,720 or 3,721... There's still some 'debate' whether we should count Two of Ten as one or two kills..."

VAdm Archer-Kirk: *addressing the viewscreen* "There... You see?... I would think that with your whole 'Collective' thingy, that you all would have heard of us, and realize that you really don't stand a chance... Our resistance is... How do I put this delicately?... Brutally effective... So... Why don't you do all of us a favor and just... Oh, I don't know... Self-destruct or something entertaining like that... You know... That might be the first time in almost two years that you Borg losers actually surprised me!... However, if that's too much to ask, let's just dispense with the chit-chat and get to the shooting..."

Borg Voices: *silence... Then responding* "We are the Borg. Your superiority is irrelevant. You will be..."

VAdm Archer-Kirk: *slashes a hand in a gesture across his throat* "Well, points for persistence, I suppose... Alright, let's make this quick... I have a Dabo date on DS9 that I don't want to be late for..."

*Borg proceed to learn the painful difference between 'futile' and 'effective' resistance*
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 28
10-14-2011, 09:47 AM
Ohhh just wait until the Borg assimilate the race that reanimated that dead woman from Voyager. Then they could just sit back and wait for their targets to die, then assimilate them anyway. To that end, they could release any old bioweapon on a planet and just wait for the inhabitants to croak.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 29
10-14-2011, 10:03 AM
Captain D'vat: Good Afternoon, Vice Admiral Lower Half of the 3rd order of the Tocalphane Schmucaktelly, We have a new Mission for you involving the Borg.

Vice Admiral Schmucaktelly: Captain! How many times have I told you, just call me Vice Admiral Schmucaktelly when addressing me in communiques.

Captain D'vat: But Vice Admiral Lower Half of the 3rd order of the Tocalphane Schmucaktelly, How would I differentiate you from all the other Vice Admiral Lower Half of the 3rd order of the Tocalphane Schmucaktelly's?
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 30
10-14-2011, 10:11 AM
Security officer: "Captain, the borg have adapted to our weapons."
Captain: "Keep firing!"
First officer: "But Captain, their shields are too strong!
Captain: "Fight them hand to hand of you have to!'
Security Officer: "Capatin, that's sui*-- hrrkkk!"
*Security Officer is defeated*
*Rest of the away team is defeated*
*Borg Drone has defeated you!*
--RESPAWN--
Captain: "Ok let's go!"
Security Oficer: "But they adapted to our waepons, we can't fight them!"
Engineering Officer: "Captain, do you have any remodulators that we can use?"
Captain: "Modulators? I didn't know I could get any..."
*Synchornus Away team facepalm*
Security Officer: "Captain, you can replicate them you know..."
Captain: "Oh... Well... Can't you guys replicate your own?"
First officer: "We wish we could but the current setup only allows you to access the replicator..."
*Captain and the First Officer look right into the camera*
Captain: "Fine. I'll replicate them back on t he ship."
First Officer: "Very well. Shall we beam up?"
Captain: "No! We could lose our progress on the mission!"
*First Officer grits her teeth and clenches her fists in frustration*
First officer: "Sir, it will take them about 15 minutes to regroup..."
Captain: "It doesn't matter! To battle!"
*Captain runs off wielding the phaser rifle like a baseball bat*
*Collecive away team groan*
-- 6 Respawns later--
First officer: "Captain, can we PLEASE got and get those f******* modulators now?!"
*Captain runs off again*
*Away team looks at each other*
First officer: "Screw it. We are waiting here..."
*Captain respawns next to the away team*
Captain: "WTF! Why weren't you guys there?!"
First officer: "Captain, We arte out of red shirts from the ship, Our weapons are useless and you refuse to equip us propery. So, in order to save the ship and crew, I will be forced to relieve you of your duties as Captain if you continue this course of action."
Captain: "But... Oh for f***** sake. Fine. Transporter room, 5 to beam up."
*Captain stomps into the ready room, punches a few buttons on the repicator*
Captain walks back out onto the bridge and trows a handful of the modulators at the bridge crew with surprising force*
Captain: "Pansies....."

EDIT:

Yes I am ashamed to say this exact thing DID happen on my ship...

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