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Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
Quote:
Originally Posted by Duke-of-Rock View Post
Spawn of Medusa IV - (Part IV - The Awakening)
"As you prepare for a scientific commission to join you on Julip Prime to study the ruins recently discovered, you are hailed by Admiral Fedrikson and ordered to immediately divert to the newly rebuilt Argus Array. It has been monitoring the Medusik's fleet movements and has stopped transmitting. Who and what you find will lead you on an unexpected adventure to solve one of Earth's greatest mysteries and prepare you for the final showdown rapidly approaching with a new ally against the evil Medusa Frow and her remaining 5 daughters."
* Spawn of Medusa IV
* Duke-of-Rock
* Level: 16+
* Federation
* Starting Location: Wall Console Outside Main Transporter Room on Earth Space Dock (ESD).
* Mission Time: A little over an hour in length
* Heavy Story Driven Mission with Diplomatic Implications.
* Medium Difficulty Coded puzzle.
* Very Little Combat.
* Unique Maps and locations.
Federation Mission - Spawn of Medusa IV
Author: Duke-of-Rock
Allegiance: Federation
ST-HT4BAVWUY

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: This is yet another great episode in the “Spawn of Medusa” series. Your story dialog is fantastic throughout the entire series and compels the player to carry on deeper into the mission. Your maps throughout have been very well designed and executed, however I have to say this one had some of the very best uses of design and effects in the entire series. The Julip Frozen Underground Chambers map was some of the best use of effects with the stasis pods and the appearance of the Meltorak. The Atlantis maps were just as well done.

This entire series from start to this point have been so well designed and executed I can hardly wait to see what happens next. Below are a few things I noted while playing this mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up and my previous ones should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you please.

Mission Description: This is a well written, detailed description and start location. However I would recommend you consider changing the start point to another star system rather than the console outside the transporter room to maintain consistency with the previous stories.

Grant Mission Dialog: This is well written

Mission Task: Realizing that you’ve included the mission start location in the Mission Description I recommend the initial start custom map this should also have the location of where to start the mission.

Mission Entry Prompt: Good initial dialog prompt.

MAPS:
Argus Array: This is a very simple map design but well executed. The Argus Array looks great as does the Cytherian vessel. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors on this map or issues with any of the features of the map.

Captain’s Ready Room: The dialog for this part of the story is very well written and engaging. It draws me deeper into the story. I noted the following items to consider changing:
-Cytherian Counsul Garthokia dialog; consider changing "I just know the system as another name." to read "I just know the system by another name."

Julip System: Great map with a good battle. The dialog drove the story quite well. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Bridge Officer dialog; "Sir, if i may interrupt," should read "Sir, if I may interrupt,"
-Admiral Fedrikson dialog; "i am glad to hear that, but i am afraid you are on your own" should read "I am glad to hear that, but I am afraid you are on your own".
-Bridge Officer post Admiral Fedrikson dialog; the bridge officer declares "We are in transporter range if the Science Outpost sir." and the response button is "Engage full impulse." The beam down map transition is offered upon selecting the button. Consider removing the previous dialog box and moving the "We are in transporter range if the Science Outpost sir." dialog to this dialog box instead.

Julip Prime: The dialog was very well written and the map design and execution was good. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors on this map or issues with any of the features of the map.

Julip Frozen Underground Chambers: This is an excellent map design and very well executed. The language puzzle was very well done. I actually took notes in my log so I could solve it. The effects you designed in the stasis chamber were outstanding in the design and simply stunning in execution. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The pods to be scanned seem to be slightly off center from the floor connections. Not a huge problem but one I thought you would want to know about.
-Meltorak Grofnik dialog; "but how did you find you way down" should read "but how did you find your way down".

Captain’s Ready Room - The Meeting: The dialog is well written and again serves to draw me into the heart of the story. I noted only one issue with dialog:
-Bridge Officer Map Transition dialog; seems a little awkward. Consider changing it to “Course for Earth laid in sir” or something along those lines.

Sol System: Great dialog and I noted no spelling or grammatical errors on this map or issues with any of the features of the map.

Deep Under the Antarctic Ice Shelf: This dialog was very well written and the map design using the beacons and attack vessels on all sides was great. At one point I almost go to close to one of the groups but was able to avoid them. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors on this map or issues with any of the features of the map.

Atlantis Colony Biosphere: Great map and dialog. Both served to drive the story forward. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Meltorak Thygorius dialog; "It has a very advantageous properties when combined with other technology." should read "It has very advantageous properties when combined with other technology".
-"if we do not succees," should read "if we do not succeed,"
-Meltorak Atlantonius dialog; consider changing "items we attained" to read "items we obtained".
-"thay had begun" should read "they had begun".

Atlantis Ship Construction Facility: This is yet another great example of your work on story dialog and map design. I noted only one issue with dialog:
-Meltorak Atlantonius dialog; the response button reads "I understand. are we ready to proceed?" should read "I understand. Are we ready to proceed?"

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. I look forward to the next episode in this series.
Brian
 

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