Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 1 Here Today, Gorn Tomorrow
01-28-2012, 06:57 PM
Title: Here Today, Gorn Tomorrow
Author: Maziken
Project ID: ST-HNTEWE7P3
Faction: Klingon
Level: Any Level

"In their continued effort to remove the Gorn from their rightful homes, the Federation has attacked the Gorn colony on Alhena. The High Council has ordered you to intercept this Federation invasion force and show them that the Klingon Defense Force will not stand idly by while it's members are attacked. Several other ships have been dispatched as well, they should be contacting you shortly."
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
Quote:
Originally Posted by Maziken
Title: Here Today, Gorn Tomorrow
Author: Maziken
Project ID: ST-HNTEWE7P3
Faction: Klingon
Level: Any Level

"In their continued effort to remove the Gorn from their rightful homes, the Federation has attacked the Gorn colony on Alhena. The High Council has ordered you to intercept this Federation invasion force and show them that the Klingon Defense Force will not stand idly by while it's members are attacked. Several other ships have been dispatched as well, they should be contacting you shortly."

Thanks in advance!
Klingon Mission - Here Today, Gorn Tomorrow
Author: Maziken
Allegiance: Klingon
Project ID: ST-HNTEWE7P3

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: This is a good, short and straight forward mission. The story design and execution is really well done. If you like a good short story with glorious battles and great map design then this is the mission for you. I would definitely recommend this mission to any Klingon faction player.

Below are a couple of things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

Mission Description: This is a good detailed description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.

Grant Mission Dialog: The dialog is intriguing but may need just a little more than what is in the description to draw the player in and make them want to click "Accept". I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialog.

Mission Task: This is a good task with the start location clearly indicated. noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this task.

Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.

MAPS:
Alhena: This is a good maps design with good battles. The story dialog is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialog or any issues with the map.

Gorn Colony: This is a great map design. The battles are glorious. The dialog is good. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialog or any issues with the map. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The spawn point is in the water. That seems odd.

Gorn Hall: The map design is great. The battles are glorious. The dialog is outstanding. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialog or any issues with the map.

Alhena#2: This map design is good. The battle is glorious and the story dialog is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialog or any issues with the map.

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a great job with this mission.
Brian

This critique report also filed 02/04/2012 on forum posting for: In depth mission reports upon request.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 3
02-05-2012, 11:13 AM
Thank you for the review! I made a few changes. Rather than moving the spawn point, I simply added some dialogue that referenced the fact they were in water heh.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 4
02-05-2012, 12:01 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Maziken
Thank you for the review! I made a few changes. Rather than moving the spawn point, I simply added some dialogue that referenced the fact they were in water heh.
Glad I could help. Thanks for authoring.
Brian
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 5
02-07-2012, 08:02 PM
I've made a few changes to this mission. The Gorn Hall now looks like it has more of a door that the player can enter. I've also made a few changes to the dialogue.

I'm still trying to figure out what I can do with this mission to make it more interesting.
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