Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 341
02-26-2012, 06:05 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lukterious
Hello,

I am requesting a mission review for my mission; details are below.

Thanks,

---

Perfections Price (Borg)

By, Lukterious.

Starfleet Intelligence is calling for volunteers to join a secret task-force that will venture into Borg space. All that the top commanding officers will say about the mission is that it’s dangerous and vital to Federation security.

Due to the nature of the mission, only the Elite among the volunteers will be accepted into the task-force. Those willing to risk their lives in defense of the Federation are to meet with Admiral Marconi on Deep Space Nine.

Notes: This mission is designed for experienced veteran and elite players. Come prepared to battle the Borg.

Mission Duration: 1 hour (appx)

Mission Content: Heavy Combat v.s. The Borg (ground and space), Medium Story-line.

Player Level: Min 41 (recommended 50). *Can be played as solo or with a team.


---
Okay, I finally caught up and will start your mission, either tonight or tomorrow night.

Thanks for authoring,
Brian
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 342 Soldiers of the Empire
02-26-2012, 08:21 PM
Faction: Klingon
Minimum rank: Level 16
I.D. ST-HA57L4FBU

This is the first of a three story mission arc.

Players will have to save the Empire from a growing dishonor. In this mission players will be aided by some of the Empire's most legendary warriors, including Worf.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 343
02-26-2012, 10:01 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by treky1134 View Post
Faction: Klingon
Minimum rank: Level 16
I.D. ST-HA57L4FBU

This is the first of a three story mission arc.

Players will have to save the Empire from a growing dishonor. In this mission players will be aided by some of the Empire's most legendary warriors, including Worf.
Thanks for the review request. You are currently 3rd in the queue for review behind Kirkfat. Hopefully I will be able to finish Lukterious mission tomorrow and Kirkfat's right after that.

Thanks for authoring,
Brian
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 344
02-27-2012, 08:34 AM
Thanks a lot for the reviews! It's much easier to have your reviews then some of the comments left by other people. Though I do want to clarify a few things. First one is the map usage. I really wanted this series to feel like episodes from the TV show and that is why i have the redundant first map in parts 2-5 just like how the episodes that had multiple parts went "Last time on Star Trek TNG..." then they replay parts of the episode. That was my thinking on that. The next thing was in episode 2 the 2 bridges in the beginning is because of the foundry. For some reason the map, the actually bridge, has a ready room attached, but for some reason it is cut off by and invisible object and you can go from RR to bridge or vice versa without the 2 maps and the transition I put in. Was the only way to do it with Foundry limits

Thanks again for the reviews i can make my missions much stronger now!
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 345
02-27-2012, 04:36 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by antman9173
Thanks a lot for the reviews! It's much easier to have your reviews then some of the comments left by other people. Though I do want to clarify a few things.
I know what you mean about the way some folks choose to review missions. Some are just plain mean spirited. I usually read some the reviews before I start a mission to hopefully give me some insight into what elements they liked and didn’t. I also look for vague reviews that I may be able to clear up if I see anything similar to what they addressed. However I do not let others reviews color my judgment of a mission, just a guide line for some elements.

I have taken the liberty of breaking down your points for reply.

Quote:
Originally Posted by antman9173
First one is the map usage. I really wanted this series to feel like episodes from the TV show and that is why i have the redundant first map in parts 2-5 just like how the episodes that had multiple parts went "Last time on Star Trek TNG..." then they replay parts of the episode. That was my thinking on that.
I thought that was where you were going with those maps. The main issue I had with the first map was mostly confined to the second mission, and a little bit of the 3rd. This was mainly because of the lag time in the loading each Foundry map during regular play. In general I recommend a reduction in the usage of a map for a few dialog responses. Something I’ve seen in other missions and used in a Klingon two part mission I created this; “Worf NPC: Previously on... Response Button: Betrayal of the Empire (Part 1)” and then I added dialog that was relevant from part 1 going into part 2. To me that felt more like the original series too and it gave me the chance to bring the player up to speed if part 2 was being played first. I added the dialog following the “Accept” button from the grant dialog. I also have a “Skip dialog” button at the beginning of that dialog that allows the player to skip it and get right into the mission.

Again everything in my reviews including this is a recommendation. I still liked the missions a lot.

Quote:
Originally Posted by antman9173
The next thing was in episode 2 the 2 bridges in the beginning is because of the foundry. For some reason the map, the actually bridge, has a ready room attached, but for some reason it is cut off by and invisible object and you can go from RR to bridge or vice versa without the 2 maps and the transition I put in. Was the only way to do it with Foundry limits
I totally understand the limits of the Foundry. The only suggestion I can give is to change the map to a different bridge map unless there is a specific significance to that particular bridge for the fleet you designed it for.

Quote:
Originally Posted by antman9173
Thanks again for the reviews i can make my missions much stronger now!
I’m glad I could help. My goal is to make the community stronger as a whole.
Thanks for authoring,
Brian
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 346
02-27-2012, 06:22 PM
Hijacked
ID: ST-HOTXO4O3P
Starfleet, Any Level
Starting Location: Veela system, Regulus sector block
Duration:~20-30 mins
Style: Adventure, Single player


The USS Aswan has failed to report to Fleet HQ as scheduled. Determine the nature of delay and take whatever measures are necessary.
The Aswan was last spotted in the Veela system at the Regulus sector block.
Both Gorn and pirate ships were spotted in the area, exercise caution!


Can you please review this remastered mission? It is 100% branched with 5+ hard and 20-30 soft endings. Finding the perfect on the 1st try may be a challenge.

The BOFFs refuse to leave the transporter room because of the door bug!
Until that is fixed, imagine your BOFFs are still with you. I lowered the difficulty of the mobs so you could beat them alone if you choose so.

Thank you!
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lukterious
Hello,

I am requesting a mission review for my mission; details are below.

Thanks,

Perfections Price (Borg)

By, Lukterious.

Starfleet Intelligence is calling for volunteers to join a secret task-force that will venture into Borg space. All that the top commanding officers will say about the mission is that it’s dangerous and vital to Federation security.

Due to the nature of the mission, only the Elite among the volunteers will be accepted into the task-force. Those willing to risk their lives in defense of the Federation are to meet with Admiral Marconi on Deep Space Nine.
Federation Mission - Perfections Price (Borg)
Author: Lukterious
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HLS8K9JJN

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: This is a really great mission with excellent map design, good tough battles and excellent dialog. Your usage of the dialog to increase the player participation in the mission using the [OOC] dialog to indentify the character speaking is very well done. I would highly recommend this mission to any who likes a good story combined with great map design and challenging battles.

The use of respawn points on a couple of the maps is mentioned below. On the “Borg Station 1 through 3 maps you need to add a respawn point deeper into the map. If you get killed, which is highly probable, it is really annoying to have to run all the way back across the map to get back to the fight. It isn’t a show stopper by any means but it does need to be addressed. All the other maps not mentioned here have respawn point appropriately placed.

I emailed you Sunday night because I got stuck on “Borg Station 3” map. Today I discovered what it was that caused it. The dialog refers to “Detonating the charges” to try and blow down the force field. If you do not go to right spot on the map you can’t detonate the charges. It is not indicated on the map and I came across it strictly by accident when I was looking for it by scanning. I’m not sure what you can do to fix that except place a reach point or something like that. This is not a show stopper, just something to be aware of.

On some of the “Borg Station” maps I noted the Mission Task says "Proceed to the Stations Core & Plant Explosives" or something along those lines. I think the "&" is caused by using the "&" symbol vice "and" in the Map Text for each map. Or it could be that those particular text fields have the "&” written in them. I can’t be sure but those are the only things I can think of that could cause that. Again this is not a show stopper, just something for you to be aware of.

The last thing is the use of the response button “Continue” which I noted on a couple of the later maps. You were repeating the player’s last line of the dialog in it for the first couple of maps then you started using “Continue” several times. The way you were using it on the first few maps was okay but I thought you should use it to finish a statement made by the player’s character in the dialog not repeat the last line of the dialog or as the mission task indicator. Same as above, this is not a show stopper, just something to be aware of.

Below are some things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

Mission Description: This is a good description with some intriguing story points. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.

Grant Mission Dialog: The Admiral's dialog is very well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialog.

Mission Task: The mission task gives a clear location where to meet the Admiral. I noted no spelling errors with this task. Consider adding the location of the start of the first custom map following the mission briefing with the Admiral. Even though I read the location there was no clear location. I had to run around the edge of the main level of DS9 looking for the door.

Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.

MAPS:
Deep Space Nine (Cryptic Map): The follow on dialog with Admiral on DS9 is very well written and easily understandable. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialog. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider changing the response buttons that appeared to mirror the [OOC][Rank][LastName] dialog in the dialog field. Realizing that the response buttons limit how much information you can put in, but consider changing it to the last sentence of the player’s response from the [OOC][Rank][LastName] dialog. Although your usage of ”Continue” was not necessarily out of place I would suggest using “…” instead.

Deep Space Nine (Space): The map design is simple and very well done. The story dialog is excellent and I actually like the way you have broken down the individual dialog by using [OOC] text. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialog or any issues with the map. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The use of at least a portion of the [OOC][Rank][LastName] dialog as part of the response button. I am noting this as a general observation and will cover it in more detail in the summary.
-Using the [OOC] text in the dialog; consider placing a colon at the end of the [OOC] text indicating who is speaking.

Borg Planet: This is a well designed map. The story dialog was well written and very detailed. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The post "Log" dialog; consider changing "appears to be a large orbital instillation" to read "appears to be a large orbital installation".
-Consider changing "that large orbital instillation" to read "that large orbital installation".
-Consider changing "While we are on the orbital instillation" to read "While we are on the orbital installation".
-Consider changing "Borg orbital instillation" to read "Borg orbital installation". From this point forward I am going to suggest checking the dialog for this spelling error. I will note the maps I find the dialog on.
-Consider adding some (optional) Borg enemy ships for the player to avoid. You could set up a trigger so if they decide to attack the ship more would appear. You could even set up a warning from the Tactical BOFF reminding the Captain they are not supposed to engage the enemy ships.

Borg Station: Level 1: This is a really good map design. The dialog is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialog or any issues with the map. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider adding respawn points further into the map.
-The Mission Task says "Proceed to the Stations Core & Plant Explosives".

Borg Station: Level 2: The map design is very well done and the battles are tough but fun. The writing is very well done. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialog. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider adding respawn points further into the map.
-The Mission Task says "Proceed to the Stations Core & Plant Explosives".

Borg Station: Level 3: This is a good map design with a lot of great battles. The story dialog is very well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialog. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider adding respawn points further into the map.
-The Mission Task says "Proceed to the Stations Core & Plant Explosives".
-I found the issue I e-mailed you about last night. The location of the "Set the Explosive Charges to Detonate on your signal" is not a mission task and does not show up on the map. I stumbled across it as I was looking for anything that I may have missed.

Borg Station: Level 4: This is a good map design with tough battles. The story dialog is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialog. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".
-The Mission Task says "Locate the Power Core and Plant Explosives" vice "Proceed to the Stations Core & Plant Explosives". I think the issue is the use of "&" in the "Map Text" field.

Borg Planet Surface: The map design is very well done and the option to avoid combat is pretty well done. The story dialog is very well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialog. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".

Borg Planet#2: This is a good map design with excellent battles. The story dialog is very well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialog or any issues with the map.
I noted one item to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".

Taskforce Rally Point: This is a good map design with great battles. The story dialog is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialog or any issues with the map.
I noted one item to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".

Deep Space Nine: This is a good wrap up map for the mission. The story dialog is very well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialog or any issues with the map.
I noted one item to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a great job on this mission and as promised it was full of lot’s of Borg battles and a great story as well.
Brian
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 348
02-27-2012, 07:23 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pendra80 View Post
Hijacked
ID: ST-HOTXO4O3P
Starfleet, Any Level
Starting Location: Veela system, Regulus sector block
Duration:~20-30 mins
Style: Adventure, Single player


The USS Aswan has failed to report to Fleet HQ as scheduled. Determine the nature of delay and take whatever measures are necessary.
The Aswan was last spotted in the Veela system at the Regulus sector block.
Both Gorn and pirate ships were spotted in the area, exercise caution!


Can you please review this remastered mission? It is 100% branched with 5+ hard and 20-30 soft endings. Finding the perfect on the 1st try may be a challenge.

The BOFFs refuse to leave the transporter room because of the door bug!
Until that is fixed, imagine your BOFFs are still with you. I lowered the difficulty of the mobs so you could beat them alone if you choose so.

Thank you!
Thanks for the review request. You are currently 3rd in the queue for review behind treky1134 and Kirkfat who's mission I hope to start on tonight. I'll post my review as soon as I've completed it.

Thanks for authoring,
Brian
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 349
02-27-2012, 08:27 PM
Thank you for the review,

The issues that you pointed out with the mission "Perfections Price" will be dealt with; I appreciate your keen eye for detail and noteworthy suggestions indeed.

Regarding "Borg Ships to Avoid" in the initial space map, at the beginning of the mission, it not such an easy fix for a couple of reasons;

1 The Borg have been battling the "Rebel Borg" for over fifteen hours prior to the players arrival and as such, both factions are either busy engaging each other or simply destroyed.

2 If the player is detected by either faction, a general alert would be issued and the mission was designed with that in mind.

However, I have considered an optional approach and may work it in at a later time (though I wont give it away yet


The "Re-spawn" point/s on the second level is again a difficult fix. simply because there could be an overlap on the appearance of certain force-fields, which would prevent the player from gaining access and continuing the mission. However, I will reevaluate the current design and see about adding an additional re-spawn point.


The "Continue" used on some of the buttons; yes that has always bugged me too in other missions; I will go back and edit in some of the specific responses within the buttons, where needed.


The "Set the Explosive Charges to Detonate" aspect of map 3 has been revamped to include a map directional indicator, so to avoid any confusion on that specific event task; and the dialog for the missions leading up to and after it have also been edited to more clearly describe what the player needs to do. E.G. Instead of "Proceed to Level 4 and Plant Explosives", it reads "Plant Explosives and Proceed to Level 4". Thus indicating that the player needs to firstly plant the explosives and then proceed to the next level.

I also removed several of the prompts to "Re-initialize your Holographic Emitter"; though nice for the story, they are a bit over used and can be problematic if missed (during my run through, I missed one and had to back-track myself).


Thanks again for the excellent review / suggestions; based off of your response and the general responses I have received form other players, I will begin work on a sequel / part II for this missions story line and continue it.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 350
02-27-2012, 10:26 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lukterious
Thank you for the review,

The issues that you pointed out with the mission "Perfections Price" will be dealt with; I appreciate your keen eye for detail and noteworthy suggestions indeed.

Regarding "Borg Ships to Avoid" in the initial space map, at the beginning of the mission, it not such an easy fix for a couple of reasons;

1 The Borg have been battling the "Rebel Borg" for over fifteen hours prior to the players arrival and as such, both factions are either busy engaging each other or simply destroyed.

2 If the player is detected by either faction, a general alert would be issued and the mission was designed with that in mind.

However, I have considered an optional approach and may work it in at a later time (though I wont give it away yet


The "Re-spawn" point/s on the second level is again a difficult fix. simply because there could be an overlap on the appearance of certain force-fields, which would prevent the player from gaining access and continuing the mission. However, I will reevaluate the current design and see about adding an additional re-spawn point.


The "Continue" used on some of the buttons; yes that has always bugged me too in other missions; I will go back and edit in some of the specific responses within the buttons, where needed.


The "Set the Explosive Charges to Detonate" aspect of map 3 has been revamped to include a map directional indicator, so to avoid any confusion on that specific event task; and the dialog for the missions leading up to and after it have also been edited to more clearly describe what the player needs to do. E.G. Instead of "Proceed to Level 4 and Plant Explosives", it reads "Plant Explosives and Proceed to Level 4". Thus indicating that the player needs to firstly plant the explosives and then proceed to the next level.

I also removed several of the prompts to "Re-initialize your Holographic Emitter"; though nice for the story, they are a bit over used and can be problematic if missed (during my run through, I missed one and had to back-track myself).


Thanks again for the excellent review / suggestions; based off of your response and the general responses I have received form other players, I will begin work on a sequel / part II for this missions story line and continue it.
Glad I could help. I really enjoyed the mission.

Thanks for authoring,
Brian
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