Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 681
05-28-2012, 12:12 AM
Hey Evil. A while back you did an excellent review of my mission "AJS: Finding Resolution." After reworking the mission based on your suggestions, inspiration struck and I did a major revision of the project and was wondering if you would be willing to take another crack at it.

Mission Name: AJS: Finding Resolution
Author: AJStoner (docflamingo2)
Minimum Level: 40+ (Game calls it a lieutenant mission but solo players should be at least 40 to try it)
Allegiance: Federation
ID: ST-HDW83F7ZH
Estimated Mission Length: 45 minutes
Method of Report Delivery: Forum Post

Many thanks,

AJS
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 682 Mission Review
05-28-2012, 01:13 AM
Mission Name: The Empire's Dark Day
Author: Digimstr
Minimum Level: Any
Allegiance: Klingon
ST-HNF68C43C
Estimated Mission Length: 45min to 1 hour
Method of Report Delivery: Forum Post


The Federation has decided that now is a good time for an assault on Qo'Nos. They have in effect taken out orbital assests and are working on the ground to try and remove the council and all aspects of Klingon Life.
You are the sole hope of the Empire as resources are stretched thin to repel these invaders.
Discover why they are attacking and protect the Empire all in an Epic of our time.
Head to JFS 47 System in the Pi Canis Sector to start.
Part 1 fo a 3 part series

Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Digimstr
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 683
05-28-2012, 09:59 AM
Mission Title: Strawberries and Cream Part 2
Level: 16+
Project ID: ST-HNLFKR9GB
Faction: Federation
Estimated Time: 20min.-45min.
Method of Delivery: Forum

Description: The Murder lays unsolved, solve it.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 684
05-29-2012, 04:13 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by docflamingo2
Hey Evil. A while back you did an excellent review of my mission "AJS: Finding Resolution." After reworking the mission based on your suggestions, inspiration struck and I did a major revision of the project and was wondering if you would be willing to take another crack at it.

Mission Name: AJS: Finding Resolution
Author: AJStoner (docflamingo2)
Minimum Level: 40+ (Game calls it a lieutenant mission but solo players should be at least 40 to try it)
Allegiance: Federation
ID: ST-HDW83F7ZH
Estimated Mission Length: 45 minutes
Method of Report Delivery: Forum Post

Many thanks,

AJS
Hey AJS,

Thanks for the review request. You are at the top of the queue. I hope to get started this evening but if not definitely tomorrow morning, first thing.

Thanks for authoring,
Brian
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 685
05-29-2012, 04:18 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Digimstr View Post
Mission Name: The Empire's Dark Day
Author: Digimstr
Minimum Level: Any
Allegiance: Klingon
ST-HNF68C43C
Estimated Mission Length: 45min to 1 hour
Method of Report Delivery: Forum Post


The Federation has decided that now is a good time for an assault on Qo'Nos. They have in effect taken out orbital assests and are working on the ground to try and remove the council and all aspects of Klingon Life.
You are the sole hope of the Empire as resources are stretched thin to repel these invaders.
Discover why they are attacking and protect the Empire all in an Epic of our time.
Head to JFS 47 System in the Pi Canis Sector to start.
Part 1 fo a 3 part series

Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Digimstr
Hi Digimstr,

Thanks for the review request. You are currently 2nd in the queue behind AJStoner. I should be getting started on his this evening or first thing in the morning. Then I should be on to yours shortly after that.

Thanks for authoring,
Brian
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 686
05-29-2012, 04:19 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Q400
Mission Title: Strawberries and Cream Part 2
Level: 16+
Project ID: ST-HNLFKR9GB
Faction: Federation
Estimated Time: 20min.-45min.
Method of Delivery: Forum

Description: The Murder lays unsolved, solve it.
Hi Q400,

Thanks for the review request. You are currently 3rd in the queue behind Digimstr. I hope to get to queue tonight but if not then tomorrow morning and then to yours shortly after that.

Thanks for authoring,
Brian
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
Quote:
Originally Posted by docflamingo2
Hey Evil. A while back you did an excellent review of my mission "AJS: Finding Resolution." After reworking the mission based on your suggestions, inspiration struck and I did a major revision of the project and was wondering if you would be willing to take another crack at it.

Mission Name: AJS: Finding Resolution
Author: AJStoner (docflamingo2)
Minimum Level: 40+ (Game calls it a lieutenant mission but solo players should be at least 40 to try it)
Allegiance: Federation
ID: ST-HDW83F7ZH
Estimated Mission Length: 45 minutes
Method of Report Delivery: Forum Post

Many thanks,

AJS
Federation Mission - Finding Resolution
Author: AJStoner (aka: docflamingo2)
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HDW83F7ZH

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: This is a much better iteration of the previous mission design. Your map designs are good and many of the battles are still pretty tough. The story dialogue is excellent throughout and I like the way you’ve turned it a little more towards a story orientation rather than mostly combat. I think you’ve found a good balance of story and combat. By the way the mission is no were near 45 minutes. It is at least 1 and half hours, possibly more with the heavy engagements. My time estimate does not include my write up time for issues I found. I base it on my actual playing time. That is not a problem as the mission and story makes it pretty riveting. I would recommend this mission to other players but I would still not recommend it to players at Elite level.

You did go through and balance most of the “Interior” battles on those maps. Some are still a little heavy but most are a good challenge. The space battles are still out of balance. It’s not a problem to have several cruisers but when several groups are so close together the player cannot engage one without triggering at least another and most likely two others it becomes very difficult. Again that was at Normal level. I cannot imagine how hard it would be on Elite. As I said in my previous report and noted again below the battles need to be spread further apart to at least give the player a chance. I am sure there are players who consider these odds as a challenge but I suspect the majority of players do not like getting killed over and over again.

Below are some things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

Mission Description: This is a good description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description. Regarding your note at the bottom, if the elements within the mission are higher rank required to play, i.e. Minimum Level 40+, all players below that level cannot see your mission to select it. If you do not have elements that drive the playing level to 40+ and you are simply recommending the player be of that level or above the enemy groups will match themselves to the level of the player entering the map. So if you have a large number of enemies they will all have the same level as the player.

Grant Mission Dialogue: This is a good grant dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

Mission Task: This is a good initial mission task with a clear start location for the first custom map. I noted no spelling errors with this task.

Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.

MAPS:
Ker’rat IX: This is a good map design with very tough battles. The story dialogue is very well written. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The enemy battles need to be better balanced with the enemy spread out to give the player a better chance of defeating them without getting killed over and over. It is difficult enough on “Normal” it would probably be impossible on “Elite”.
-The post battle dialogue; consider changing "That's appears to be the last of them, Captain" to read "That appears to be the last of them, Captain".

Observatory: This is a great map design with good battles. The story dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider breaking the “Search the maintenance lockers” into individual tasks with some dialogue from one of the BOFFs after each one on what is found in each locker. This would be more intriguing than going through 8 lockers with the dialogue at the end.
-Consider moving the “Gain access to the control room” interaction to a console closer to the location.
-Consider moving the “Enter Dr. DeLaney’s security code” interaction turbolift to right outside the control room. Having to run back and forth on a map to do interactions is tedious.

Observatory Sublevel: This is a great map design. The story dialogue is excellent and very detailed. I wanted to shoot Franklin a couple of times, which is the feeling I think you want to generate in the player. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider moving the spawn point to just outside the turbolift.
-There are three NPC’s in the chamber behind the “Mysterious Vulcan” that are labeled “UGC Contact”.
-The "Franklin" dialogue; consider changing "we need to build this instillation and get it operational" to read "we need to build this installation and get it operational".

The Search for Resolution: This is a good map design with some tough battles. The story dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-As with the “Ker’rat IX” map the enemy battles need to be better balanced with the enemy spread out to give the player a better chance of defeating them without getting killed over and over. It is difficult enough on “Normal” it would probably be impossible on “Elite”. Consider moving the enemy ships to 90 degree arcs from each other around the last shuttle with at least a 15km separation from the last shuttle. This would give the player the choice where and when to fight as well as maneuvering room.

U.S.S. Resolution: This is a good map design with some tough battles. The writing is well done. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider reducing the amount of dust and smoke. It makes it hard to see exactly what is happening or the map ahead. That is not challenging, it’s annoying.

U.S.S. Resolution Cargo Deck: This is a good map design with some tough battles. The story dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider adding optional tasks with hidden objects on some of the dead crew. It would be optional and therefore not part of the main storyline. This would give the player the option to check the crew and see if they are alive or you could add some side story information. It would make it more intriguing as the player moves through the deck engaging the enemy.
-The battles are better balanced than the last time I played this but it still needs a little more work. Spread the last two groups further apart. If you engage one you are now in two fire fights. It is difficult enough on “Normal” it would probably be impossible on “Elite”.

U.S.S. Resolution Crew Deck: This is a good map design with some tough battles. The story dialogue is very well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider changing the initial task which reads "Reasch the mess hall" to read "Reach the mess hall".
-The post "Examine Captain Turrot" task dialogue; I am torn on the Away Team Science BOFF referring to the player by [FirstName]. I understand you may be aiming for a personal moment between the senior BOFFs and the Captain. Just be cautious in the use of this.
-The “drawing power” from other systems wasn’t really a puzzle as there were no clues. The player just had to guess until they get the right combination. Consider devising some power indicators clues that direct the player to select the right sequence of systems. Also consider adding a “Bypass puzzle” button, similar to a “Skip Dialogue” button for the player that just wants to play the maps.

U.S.S. Resolution Bridge: This is a good map and even though it was short I liked the story dialogue and the optional answers for BOFF interaction. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map. I noted one item but it is not really an issue as much as an observation:
-The initial spawn point inside the turbo lift worked well on this map compared to the “Observatory Sublevel” map. It may be just a matter of centering the spawn point correctly in the turbolift.

The Battle of Ker’rat: This is a great map design with tough battles and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider facing the spawn point at the explosion so the player can see the destruction. It would look better.
-Consider adding the derelict Klingon ship which should still be here.
-As with the other maps, the enemy battles need to be better balanced with the enemy spread out to give the player a better chance of defeating them without getting killed over and over. It is difficult enough on “Normal” it would probably be impossible on “Elite”.
-In addition to the battle balancing consider placing a respawn point closer to the last battle.

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a great job with this mission and it only needs some tweaking of the battles to make it even better. I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian

This critique report also filed 05/30/2012 on forum posting for: AJS Mission Catalog
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 688
05-31-2012, 06:30 AM
Hi Evil, please kindly review my first serious attempt at creating a foundry mission. This mission is also part one of what should hopefully be a five mission story arc. I am currently working on part two, hopefully I will be able to publish it in a week or two.

Mission Name: Eclipse #1: Komahashi Maru
Author: intrinsical
Minimum Level: Any
Allegiance: Starfleet
ST-HJBWPEPE9
Estimated Mission Length: Around 30 minutes
Method of Report Delivery: Forum Post
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 689
05-31-2012, 03:37 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Evil70th
Hi,

As a Foundry mission author I know how much help it can be to have an outside evaluator give a fair and in depth critique of a mission. Currently I have recorded more than 20 of these reports for various forum entries here. In addition I have played and provided rating and short feedback reports on more than 40 community authored missions. Basically it never hurts to have another set of eyes look at your work. With that thought in mind I would like to offer you a fair and in depth mission evaluation report.

Some of the information you’ll need to provide me for the evaluation;

Mission Name: (Your Mission Title)
Author: (Your STO Site Name)
Minimum Level: (16+ or above)
Allegiance: (Federation/Klingon)
ST-(Mission ID Number)
Estimated Mission Length: (Time to complete)
Method of Report Delivery: (Forum Post/In Game email)

Once I acknowledge your report request I will immediately evaluate it and can provide the feedback in this posting or via in game email. Other methods may be available provided the requested method does not violate STO Term of Use Agreements.

A sample of the evaluation report is provided below;

---------- Example---------

(Allegiance) Mission - (Title)
Author: (Your Name)
Allegiance:
ST - (ID NUMBER)

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: I will provide an overall summary of the mission here.

Mission Description: I will provide an in depth evaluation and recommendations as needed.

Grant Mission Dialog: I will provide an in depth evaluation and recommendations as needed.

Mission Task: I will provide an in depth evaluation and recommendations as needed.

Mission Entry Prompt: I will provide an in depth evaluation and recommendations as needed.

MAPS:
YOUR MAP NAMES HERE: I will provide an in depth evaluation of each map design, playability and story dialog to include spelling and grammatical analysis.

---------End Report----------

I look forward to evaluating your missions.
Brian
Alright I'll bite. This is my first time ever creating a mission. This is the "pilot" if you will of an ongoing series im writing. Constructive Critiques are always welcome ^.^ But I will remind you this is my first time ever working with the Foundry so some things might be a little ruff xP

Mission Name: The Wave Empire Ep.1
Author: Skyline45
Minimum Level: 16+
Allegiance: Federation
ST- HAP9J34R0
Estimated Mission Length: 15-30min?
Method of Report Delivery: Forum is fine

Thank you for taking the time to check it out! ^.^ Feedback is much appreciated
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 690
05-31-2012, 10:47 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by intrinsical View Post
Hi Evil, please kindly review my first serious attempt at creating a foundry mission. This mission is also part one of what should hopefully be a five mission story arc. I am currently working on part two, hopefully I will be able to publish it in a week or two.

Mission Name: Eclipse #1: Komahashi Maru
Author: intrinsical
Minimum Level: Any
Allegiance: Starfleet
ST-HJBWPEPE9
Estimated Mission Length: Around 30 minutes
Method of Report Delivery: Forum Post
Hey intrinsical,

Thanks for the review request and I am happy to review your Foundry mission. You are currently 3rd in the queue behind Q400. I hope to get to the queue starting Saturday morning. With luck I’ll get to yours by Sunday at the latest.

Thanks for authoring,
Brian
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