Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 731
06-09-2012, 02:04 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by diogene0
Hi, Evil70th. I just finished the second part of my mission in two parts. Ideally i'd like a review on both of them, but if you don't have time or don't want to do it, pick one, i'll be happy with that.

Missions Name: You won't be borg (1/2) ; You won't be borg (2/2)
Author: diogene0
Minimum Level: 46
Allegiance: Federation
Estimated Mission Length: 20 to 30 minutes each, but i'm not sure. Please let me know how long it took.
Method of Report Delivery: Forum Post, this thread will be perfect.

Thanks for your help !
Hi diogen0,

Thanks for the review request. I have no problem reviewing both missions in this series for you. Figuring out how long they take is not easy for me to do since I usually take longer to do missions. This is because I thoroughly read the dialogue and look at the map designs and battles. It usually takes me at least twice what the author estimates the mission at. I ask for that so I can gauge about how long the mission will take me to complete. You missions are currently 5th and 6th in the queue behind Skyline45. I made a lot of head way so far today and I hope to get through a couple of more today. With luck I’ll get to yours by tomorrow.

Thanks for authoring,
Brian
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 732
06-09-2012, 07:32 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Evil70th
Hi carbongrip,

Thanks for the review request. You are currently 3rd in the queue behind Q400. I hope to continue the reviews no later than tomorrow evening.

Thanks for authoring,
Brian
Hey thanks for the mission report, it was very useful and I will be changing the things you suggested to me. If I could in a few days I would like to see if you could review it again to see if there is still some more modifications that could be done to it.

Thanks
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 733
06-09-2012, 08:11 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by carbongrip
Hey thanks for the mission report, it was very useful and I will be changing the things you suggested to me. If I could in a few days I would like to see if you could review it again to see if there is still some more modifications that could be done to it.

Thanks
Glad I could help. No problem, feel free to resubmit the mission to the queue.

Thanks for authoring,
Brian
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 734
06-09-2012, 11:55 PM
O Evil One, I humbly request that you review the fourth installment of my epic "Ghosts of War" series.

Mission Name: Ghosts of War, Part IV
Author: NCC-89471
Minimum Level: 35+
Allegiance: Starfleet
ST-HFDLKG5XV
Estimated Mission Length: 30-45 minutes
Method of Report Delivery: Forum Post
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 735
06-10-2012, 12:28 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by NCC-89471 View Post
O Evil One, I humbly request that you review the fourth installment of my epic "Ghosts of War" series.

Mission Name: Ghosts of War, Part IV
Author: NCC-89471
Minimum Level: 35+
Allegiance: Starfleet
ST-HFDLKG5XV
Estimated Mission Length: 30-45 minutes
Method of Report Delivery: Forum Post
Hey NCC-89471,

Thanks for the review request, and I am looking forward to reviewing the 4th mission in the series. You are currently 7th in the queue behind diogene0. I hope to get started on the queue in the morning.

Thanks for authoring,
Brian
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 736
06-10-2012, 10:11 AM
Mission Name: Life Absorbed
Author: chaddy18
Minimum Level: 16+
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HLLM8HQEV
Estimated Mission Length: 30-45 Minutess
Method of Report Delivery: Forum Post

PS Be nice :p
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
Quote:
Originally Posted by tom_riker01 View Post
Hey Evil70th, I just finished making a fresh one up and your last review for me (Salvaged) was immensely helpful in spotting errors and areas that needed polish. So, if you have the time, I present to you...

Mission Name: Preemption (Federation)
Author: Tom_Riker01
Minimum Level: 48+ I believe
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-H02BPWGKY
Estimated Mission Length: Not certain (1 hour or more)
Method of Report Delivery: Forum Post - or- In Game email, have no preferece. =)
Federation Mission - Preemption (Federation)
Author: Tom_Riker01
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-H02BPWGKY

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: This is a great story oriented mission with excellent map designs, great story dialogue and a few battles thrown in for good measure. It is a long mission but it kept me riveted with the story and interactions. You did use “Continue” as a response button several times but they seemed to work in the circumstances you used them in. Make no mistake this is not a combat oriented mission but the author did a great job keeping the player focused on the moment. I highly recommend this mission to player's who like a mission heavy on story and light on fighting. I would also suggest you create a Forum posting to advertise this mission.

Other than the few items I noted below the only real issue I felt needed to be addressed here was you requiring the player to leave custom maps to transition across sector space to another custom map location. I tried this in one of my first missions and it really doesn’t work because it distracts the player from the story. The take away from this for you is once you have the player in the custom maps keep them there. Your story is very riveting but the jump between custom maps is unnecessary distraction that adds nothing to your story.

Below are some things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

Mission Description: This is a good albeit short description. If possible consider adding a little more background story to draw a player in and make them want to click the "Hail" button. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.

Grant Mission Dialogue: The grant dialogue and follow on story dialogue are very well done. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

Mission Task: This is a good initial tasking with a clear start location for the first custom map. I noted no spelling errors with this task.

Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

MAPS:
Risa: This is a nice map design. The story dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider adding a little more interaction dialogue with BOFF’s regarding the mission leading up to the map transfer.

Lower Decks: This map design is outstanding. The story dialogue is excellent. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider changing the mission task "Great the ambassador" to read "Greet the ambassador".
-Ambassador Berchardt is sitting all the way up against the table and is leaning into the console you placed in front of him. I understand the effect you were going for but it looks odd.
-Going to the Ambassador's quarters the Lt. T'Gara NPC is standing by a door and above the deck.
-The Berchardt speech evaluation; consider changing "yet manages uphold the Federation's interests" to read "yet manages to uphold the Federation's interests".
-Requiring the player to leave custom maps to transition across sector space is not a good story telling method. I’ll cover this in more detail in the summary above.

Sector Space Transition (Cryptic Map): This is an unnecessary distraction from the story that I will cover in the summary above.

Empok Nor: This is a good map design with great story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Empok Nor (Promenade): This is a good map design. The story dialogue is very well written. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Some of the crates in different locations are buried in the deck.
-Consider combing the "Secure the promenade" and "Check in with Lt. Jenkins" tasks by making the Lt. Jenkins dialogue follow after the call rather than having to move a little further forward just to activate the comm badge. This would be similar to the way you did the task “Continue securing the promenade” task.
-Consider changing the mission task "Great Cmdr. Ra’Kor" to read "Greet Cmdr. Ra’Kor".
-The "Commander Ra'Kor" dialogue; consider changing "We do not trust each another" to read "We do not trust each other".

Abandoned conference room: This is a good map design with excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-When I spawned on the map it seemed to be above the deck and we dropped a meter or so to the deck.

Empok Nor (Habitat Ring): This is a great map design with excellent story dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider changing "beam our people to saftey" to read "beam our people to safety".
-The “Enter the coordinates” task; consider changing this by using hidden objects to trigger the effects and dialogue rather than a second console. It would flow much nicer and would not require the player to change consoles.
-The map transfer dialogue button says "Go to Next Map" which is the default in the Foundry for no entry. Consider changing it to "<<Beaming out>>" or something like that keeps in line with your previous button use.

Empok Nor (Deflector Control): This is a great map design. The story dialogue is very well written. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The post "Beam in" dialogue; consider changing "[OOC]the deck pitches beneth you[/OOC]" to read "[OOC]the deck pitches beneath you[/OOC]".
-I noted one of the crates is in the bulkhead for the console you used at the end. Consider changing that console to one that has no crates on either side of it.

Just outside Empok Nor: This is a great map design with a good battle. The story dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider making the beam out object a large invisible object to ensure the player doesn’t accidently fly past it.

Interception: This is a good map design. The story dialogue is very well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Below Deck: This is a nice map design with well written story dialogue, but I am not sure the map is needed. This story dialogue could’ve been included on the previous map without adversely affecting the story. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider changing "[MissionInfo]Commander Ra'Kor is being of integrity[/MissionInfo]" to read "[MissionInfo]Commander Ra'Kor is a being of integrity[/MissionInfo]".

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a great job with this mission. I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 738
06-10-2012, 01:09 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by chaddy18 View Post
Mission Name: Life Absorbed
Author: chaddy18
Minimum Level: 16+
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HLLM8HQEV
Estimated Mission Length: 30-45 Minutess
Method of Report Delivery: Forum Post

PS Be nice :p
Hi chaddy18,

Thanks for your review request. You are currently 7th in the queue behind NCC-89471. I am continuing to work on the queue today but most likely I won’t get through the queue as it currently stands until next weekend. This coming week is very busy at work and with my programming class. I will post your review here as soon as I’ve completed the mission.

You do not have to worry about my reviews being mean spirited. I do not recall if I’ve ever reviewed any of your missions before but if you’ve read my forum posting you will see that I am always in depth and never mean spirited in my review of an authors mission. One of the reasons I started this posting was to help authors make better mission that further enrich the game play for all players. I would think that an author would not submit his mission for my in depth review unless they truly want a detailed review.

Anyway, thanks for authoring,
Brian
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 739
06-10-2012, 03:10 PM
Hi Evil70th,

I see you've got a long line of missions looking for your services and I'm adding mine to it! It's my first one so all feedback will be appreciated.

Mission Name: The Great Escape
Author: @Zorbane
Minimum Level: Any level
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HN57YTB7C
Estimated Mission Length: 30 minutes
Method of Report Delivery: Forum post please in the mission thread: http://forums.startrekonline.com/sho...d.php?t=273379

Thanks
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 740
06-10-2012, 04:11 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zorbane View Post
Hi Evil70th,

I see you've got a long line of missions looking for your services and I'm adding mine to it! It's my first one so all feedback will be appreciated.

Mission Name: The Great Escape
Author: @Zorbane
Minimum Level: Any level
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HN57YTB7C
Estimated Mission Length: 30 minutes
Method of Report Delivery: Forum post please in the mission thread: http://forums.startrekonline.com/sho...d.php?t=273379

Thanks
Hi Zorbane,

Thanks for the review request. You are 8th in the queue behind chaddy18. I am currently working my way through the queue but most likely won’t catch up to your mission until next weekend. If I can before that I will.

Thanks for authoring,
Brian
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