Duty Officer: "Sir, we've analyzed the unknown substance."
Captain: "Well, what is it?"
Duty Officer: "We don't know... apparently it's poisonous. Ensign Green said it tasted like chocolate pudding just before he died."
"Target the Borg cube and give me vector control."
"You have vector control, Captain."
"Confirmed, I have vector control. Divert auxlliary power to inertial dampeners."
"Auxiliary power diverted."
"Confirmed, auxiliary power diverted. All hands, cover your eyes and screen all observation consoles. Brace for impact."
"Start the countdown. Five. Four. Three. Two. One."
"WAVE MOTION SPINAL LANCE, FIRE!"
This is the reason why it takes soooo long to fire that gun. :p
"Engineering! Why is Sickbay sending distress calls from your position? They're 12 levels above you!" "Not anymore Captain...."
"Has anyone seen my Tribble?"
"You did WHAT with the Alien woman?"
"Are Gabosian plums toxic in an Alkaline environment?" "Extremely! .... .... .... .... Why do you ask Ensign?"
"Well we're running out of options. As I see it..." "What if we reversed the pol-" "That would kill us all and rend the surrounding area devoid of life for the next 20 years." ".... What about..." "Well that would just kill you."
Originally Posted by fashtall
Helmsmen: SIR! The helm is not responding!
Captain: Click out of the chatbox mister!!
"Yes Mr. President, I do realize that using perfume soaked tribbles as an offensive weapon was... errrrrrr... offensive, but how else was I supposed to get the Klingon ambassador out of his room?
Yes sir, I do understand that it was a breach of etiquette to "borrow" a horta to eat through his door, but he was barricaded inside with the Risan ambassador's daughter. At the time, using the Horta to eat through his door and then tossing in the tribbles seemed like the wisest course of action....
Yes Mr. President, I understand that it may have set back diplomatic relations, but in my defense... Ker'rat? You're sending me to that furball? Sir, I must protest! My asymmetrical warfare skills are needed there? Sigh... Yes Sir. I'm on my way."
"Helm, are we there yet?"
"Ker'rat... the waste disposal orifice of the sector."
"Yes sir, coming out of warp and dropping in system... I thought you were just joking about wanting to come here..."
"Tactical, give me an update."
"Captian, I'm reading at least 2 Borg Tac cubes, 3 or 4 regular cubes, approximately 6 spheres, 8 or 9 probes, and a massively massive cloud of plasma torpedoes. Two have locked tractors on us, and the torpedoes should arrive in 3... 2... 1..."
"And this day started out so well..................."