Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120

Title: Shadows of the Past
Author: backyardserenade
Faction: Federation
Level Requirement: 31+
Author Notes: Solo-play. Dialog-heavy. Light combat. Part 1 of 3. BETA release (NOT finished)!

Description:
An Orb of the Prophets was stolen during a recent True Way raid on the Bajoran capital. Starfleet Command wants you to investigate the whereabouts of a Bajoran ship that apparently engaged the True Way raiders responsible for the theft.

Head to the Toron System in the Beta Ursae Sector Block to search for the S.S. Ratosha.

Further comments:
My first foundry mission. I would love some feedback on map design, story progression, characters and dialogs. The mission isn't finished (two maps at the end currently missing), but I'd love to get some input to see whether I'm headed in the right direction.

The mission is planned as a trilogy.

Thanks for your feedback! :kiss:
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 2
06-17-2012, 09:41 AM
Mission update:

- the mission is now at version 0.95
- many spelling and dialog fixes
- last two maps have been added
- some few debriefing elements are still missing
- mission is essentially finished, but not all of the mysteries are yet addressed - will change very soon!

- still looking for feedback!
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 174
# 3
06-21-2012, 05:15 AM

Title: Shadows of the Past
Author: backyardserenade
Faction: Federation
Level Requirement: 31+
Author Notes: Solo-play. Dialog-heavy. Light combat. Part 1 of 3.
Current Version: 1.003.009

Description:
An Orb of the Prophets was stolen during a recent True Way raid on the Bajoran capital. Starfleet Command wants you to investigate the whereabouts of a Bajoran ship that apparently engaged the True Way raiders responsible for the theft.

Head to the Toron System in the Beta Ursae Sector Block to search for the S.S. Ratosha.

Further comments:
My first foundry mission. I would love some feedback on map design, story progression, characters and dialogs.

I'm not a native speaker of English. So everyone who points me in the direction of spelling errors gets a free cookie.

Reviews:
- BroadcastUGC Episode 40 (YouTube | StarbaseUGC.com | Thread)
- SBUGC List of Great Missions (Thread)
- Evil70th's In-depht Mission Review (Thread)
- November/December 2012 edition of the Stonewall Times (PDF file)
- The Foundry Roundtable 64 (June 2014) (YouTube | Thread)

"I would highly recommend this mission to anyone who loves a great story combined with good maps and tough but fun battles." - Evil70th

"The maps look cool. The story was well based in what was established on Deep Space Nine. [...] One of the things that stood out about this mission, that almost every kind of dialog had those two-way choices at the end." - BroadcastUGC

"Backyardserenade delivers a phenomenally written, Bajoran-centric story that has its roots in the Deep Space Nine universe. The intricately developed storyline easily rivals those being published by some of the best Foundry authors known to the community, despite this being the author's first published mission. This story would find itself at home in the DS9 TV series." - Stonewall Times

"What sold the mission to me was not even the story about the Vedek [...], it's the environment. [...] It looks like it's a prequel to "Emissary"." - The Foundry Roundtable

Forum thread: here
STOWiki site: here

Thanks for your feedback!

"Sometimes you have to do things that you hate, so you can survive to fight another day."

Last edited by backyardserenade; 07-07-2014 at 10:12 PM.
Rihannsu
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 390
# 4
06-21-2012, 09:43 AM
Found that to be a very exciting mission, I've recently started dabbling with the Foundry myself. The ending made me sad though, like despite everything it still feels like the mission was a failure. That's good in a way, I like it when something can make me feel. Also I thought you did a nice job with the Celestial Temple. Anyway, gave it 5 stars and look forward to part 2. Some small spelling mistakes, some people may give you a lower rating because of that.
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 174
# 5
06-21-2012, 10:12 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by nrobbiec View Post
Found that to be a very exciting mission, I've recently started dabbling with the Foundry myself. The ending made me sad though, like despite everything it still feels like the mission was a failure. That's good in a way, I like it when something can make me feel. Also I thought you did a nice job with the Celestial Temple. Anyway, gave it 5 stars and look forward to part 2. Some small spelling mistakes, some people may give you a lower rating because of that.
Thanks for your kind review! I'm glad I was able to emotionally involve you in the storyline - but of course I'm sorry I made you feel sad.

There are still some spelling mistakes to be squished. But some of them are shy little guys.

"Sometimes you have to do things that you hate, so you can survive to fight another day."
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 174
# 6
06-29-2012, 03:57 AM
Promotional image:
A small image with some impressions from the mission. Bigger pictures can be found here.


Mission update:
- version 1.101
- several spell fixes
- reformatted several database entries
- added additional contacts and optional dialogs to several maps
- improved ambient visuals on "Terok Nor" maps
- made some minor gameplay improvements (e.g. spawn points, enemy mobs)

"Sometimes you have to do things that you hate, so you can survive to fight another day."
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 174
# 7
07-08-2012, 04:15 AM
I have recently updated the mission with overhauled maps, gameplay mechanics and some storyline additions. I also fixed some typos and the flow of the story/dialog.

I'm quite proud of the new "Terok Nor Docking Ring" map. It is a bit larger and I tried to make it more three-dimensional. There's also a Control Room and some obstacles added in the player's path.

"Celestial Temple" was overhauled to look more ominous and mysterious. "S.S. Ratosha Bridge" was mostly beautified, with some more consoles and a little Bajoran touch. "S.S. Ratosha Cargo Area" was updated with better gameplay mechanics and a little sidestory about pests in Cargo Bay 06.

Overall I tried to improve the mission flow by changing many contacts to triggers (with the nice effect that most dialogs can only be played once, giving some meaning to your dialog choices!).

I would still love to get some detailed feedback. And I'll be very thankful for any input, feedback or opinions about the mission.

PROMOTIONAL IMAGES:




PATCH NOTES:

Current version: 1.03.006

General:
- renamed several NPCs
- removed typos and language errors
- streamlined dialog (optional dialog can now be accessed through triggers)
- changed the formatting of some texts (e.g. using OOC-font)
- added chat dialogs to several NPCs

Gameplay:
- changed several NPC contacs to triggers
- added some environment triggers ('Scan Crates', 'Receive Subspace Message', etc.)
- added several access points to the S.S. Ratosha Library Computer for background info
- added optional storyline regarding pests in Cargo Bay 06
- added new objectives to Terok Nor Docking Ring
- made it harder for several NPC contacts to be accidentally killed (hopefully)

Storyline:
- added background info to S.S. Ratosha Bridge (Colonel Salin)
- added Starfleet subspace message to Terok Nor maps (U.S.S. Cadiz/Alina Murakami)
- added Starfleet subaspace hail to Terok Nor Habitat Ring (U.S.S. Cadiz/Alina Murakami)
- added dialog to Lemak Thal
- refined Laira Mika's dialogs throughout the mission
- added new Ferengi contact to final map (Ferengi Marauder Mayak/Brexx)
- added new Starfleet contact to final map (U.S.S. Penumbra/Yongii Ahrendt)

Maps:
- redecorated "S.S. Ratosha Bridge"
- changed some assets on "S.S. Ratosha Cargo Area"
- small improvements to "Terok Nor Promenade"
- overhaul of "Terok Nor Habitat Ring" (refinements + new bar area)
- complete overhaul of "Celestial Temple"
- complete overhaul of "Terok Nor Docking Ring" (new shuttle bay + control room)

"Sometimes you have to do things that you hate, so you can survive to fight another day."

Last edited by backyardserenade; 07-11-2012 at 11:37 PM.
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 174
# 8
11-11-2012, 08:31 AM
Reviews:
- BroadcastUGC Episode 40 (YouTube | StarbaseUGC.com | Thread)
- SBUGC List of Great Missions (Thread)
- Evil70th's In-depht Mission Review (Thread)

"I would highly recommend this mission to anyone who loves a great story combined with good maps and tough but fun battles." - Evil70th

"The maps look cool. The story was well based in what was established on Deep Space Nine. [...] One of the things that stood out about this mission, that almost every kind of dialog had those two-way choices at the end." - BroadcastUGC


PATCH NOTES:

Current version: 1.03.009

General:
- streamlined dialogs
- fixed some spelling mistakes
- fixed some errors encountered during above-mentioned reviews

Gameplay:
- added some more optional dialogs/interacts to explore

"Sometimes you have to do things that you hate, so you can survive to fight another day."

Last edited by backyardserenade; 01-02-2013 at 01:42 AM.
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 174
# 9
01-02-2013, 01:56 AM
New Review:
- November/December 2012 edition of the Stonewall Times (PDF file)

"Backyardserenade delivers a phenomenally written, Bajoran-centric story that has its roots in the Deep Space Nine universe. The intricately developed storyline easily rivals those being published by some of the best Foundry authors known to the community, despite this being the author's first published mission. This story would find itself at home in the DS9 TV series." - Stonewall Times
The article also includes an in-depth interview about the mission and its creation process!


PATCH NOTES:

Current version: 1.03.011

General:
- fixed some typos
- changed some odd-looking animations

Gameplay:
- added a little combat to the later parts of the mission
- fixed a potentially game-breaking bug where an NPC contact could get accidentally destroyed, hindering mission progress

"Sometimes you have to do things that you hate, so you can survive to fight another day."

Last edited by backyardserenade; 01-02-2013 at 01:59 AM.
Captain
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 3,465
# 10
01-11-2013, 07:19 AM
Ended up running this with a few fleet folks the other night. Overall it's a very solid mission, but there are a few "loose ends" so to speak.

Firstly, it does drag a bit in the final third. Without spoilers I completely understand, and without breaking the mission up into two smaller pieces I don't see how it could be avoided.

Secondly, there are some timeline continuity issues, specifically in terms of the Cardassian withdrawal.

Still, it's a quite enjoyable piece of work, and the above quibbles don't really take away from the experience.
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