Captain
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 2,263
# 151
07-07-2012, 12:41 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by evil70th View Post
Federation Mission - The Wave Empire Ep.1 (Re-Review)
Author: Skyline475
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HAP9J34R0

----------Report Start -----------

Summary: This is a great mission with excellent map design and several tough but fun battles. I still would not like to play this on Elite but the support units you added to some of the battles make it a lot better than before. The story dialogue is very well written and you made almost all of the corrections from my previous report. There are still a couple here and there but it is a whole lot better than before. I really enjoyed the mission and would definitely recommend this mission to other players.

Below are some things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

Mission Description: This is a good description. I noted no spelling or grammar errors in this description.

Grant Mission Dialogue: This is a good grant dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammar errors in this dialogue.

Mission Task: This is a good initial mission task with a clear start location for the first custom map. I noted no spelling errors in this task.

Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammar errors in this prompt.

MAPS:
The Wave Empire Star Gate: This is a good map design with well written dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The map transfer dialogue; consider changing "Shall I proceed through the Wrap Gate, [Rank]" to read "Shall I proceed through the warp gate, [Rank]".

Atlantis: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Atlantis Docking Station Delta: This is a good map design. The story dialogue is very well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Loerina: This is a very nice map design with a lot of details, but the dialogue does not support the need for this map. The map transfer dialogue alludes to the people seeming too good to be true, but how would the player know that since they have interacted with no one other than the "Transporter Operator" on this map. Consider changing the nature of this map to allow the player to explore the city a little and talk to some of the locals. This could be done by giving the player the option when talking to the "Transporter Operator" add another response button that says "I?m going to look around a little" or something along those lines. You can then set this to use small objects to trigger optional dialogue with the various NPCs spread across the map. If the player chooses not to select that button then the optional dialogue is not available. Objects used to trigger optional dialogue allows the author to add branching dialogue that will also disappear after the player interacts with it. Do not use NPC to trigger the optional dialogue. There are several tutorials available on StarBase UGC that can walk you through creating the optional dialogue using trigger objects.

Ascended Council: This is a nice map design. The story dialogue is well written but seems rather short. Consider adding a little more detail to the interaction with Ascended Loriyen. You should also add object triggered optional dialogue with the other NPCs spread across this map. This would give the player the ability to find out a little more about the Waveloids and would flesh out the story a little more. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The NPC to the right front of the "Ascended Loriyen" is labeled "UGC Contact".
-Consider changing "I have the authority to grant you such premission" to read "I have the authority to grant you such permission".
-Consider changing "Step onto the platform on the east side of the room" to read "Step onto the platform on the west side of the room". The platform is actually located on the west side of the room.

Ascended Council Member Uioda?s Living Quarters: The map design is good with very tough battles. The story dialogue is well written. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The post scan dialogue; consider changing the response button "Set Weapons to Kill" to read "Set weapons to kill".
-The post "Check Unidentified Vulcan" dialogue; consider changing "[Rank], shes dead" to read "[Rank], she's dead".
-Consider changing "Also, notice theres blood comming" to read "Also notice there's blood coming from".
-Consider changing "I might be able to tell you more after I can examine her in more deatil on the [ShipName]" to read "I might be able to tell you more after I examine her in more detail on the [ShipName]".

Ascended Council#2: The map design is good with very tough battles. The story dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Loerina#2: The map design is good with very tough battles. The story dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Atlantis Docking Station Delta#2: The map design is good with very tough battles. The story dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Atlantis#2: This is a good map design with several tough battles but the support ships you added are a good addition to the fighting. The story dialogue is well written. I noted one item to consider changing:
-I like the way you explained why that the Devidians are attacking using Hirogen ships, but consider changing the use of "Hirojen" to read "Hirogen" throughout the dialogue.

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a good job with this mission. I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian

This critique report also filed 07/06/2012 on forum posting for: The Wave Empire Series.
Hmmm... I think Skyline475 is a great Stargate Atlantis fan... half of his maps feature the words "Atlantis", "Ascended", and "Stargate", and the principles by which his gate work are very, very, VERY similar to the Stargate functionality, but explained in a more ST way

Oh, and the Wave Empire's isolation reminds me a lot of how the Ancients went into the Pegasus galaxy, although they DID do that for entirely different reasons.

Edit: Oh, and I forgot, they're telekinetic. All they need to be now to stay true to their presumed universe of origin is to be energy beings (well, the Ascended ones, anyway)

Re-edit: Oh, by the way, could you change your ingame review of Exploratory Crisis? The bug has been fixed using the method you suggested (object interaction, that's how I understood it), and your reference to it could scare anybody who bothers to read reviews away

Alternatively I could keep the review reply I posted yesterday, which includes the fact that it's been fixed (at least a week later than I should have due to vacation and forgetfulness)

By the way, are your Gold Foundry slots SUPPOSED to disappear when you're no longer a Gold player? I had a game card and noticed 8 extra slots on top of my 4 starter slots, but yesterday they vanished

Re-re-edit: Well, ok, so they vanished somewhere in the past week with my 1 billion EC cap, but the point is I only noticed yesterday

Re-re-re-edit: Oh, I see you brought up the issue of optional vanishing and optional permanent dialogues again xD

Re-re-re-re-edit: Would you believe I'm doing all these edits within about 30 minutes of the original post? Anyway, to comment on the "Wrap Gate", I kinda like wrapping myself into a gate (wink, wink, I'm out of smileys)
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Infinite possibilities have implications that could not be completely understood if you turned this entire universe into a giant supercomputer.
And I don't pretend to understand them.

Last edited by dalolorn; 07-07-2012 at 12:52 AM.
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 161
# 152
07-07-2012, 03:00 AM
Greetings Brian.

I hope you have been well.

I have completed my 9th mission and humbly submit it to you for review.

Title: ABI-Artificial Borg Intelligence
By: Duke-of-Rock
Level: 16+
Starting location: Andoria system

I created this mission based on some inspiration to combine a little early 21st century with the future in STO and the conflict with the Borg.
I also made it possible for lower levels to play it using costumed characters. It seems there are just not any Borg missions for lower levels with the exception of the Red alerts or the tutorial, so I adapted to give the lower levels the capability to enjoy a Borg mission.

Hope to hear from you soon. have a great day!

Craig aka: Duke-of-Rock
ABI-Artificial Borg Intelligence by Duke-of-Rock Available on Holodeck
Also play Spawn of Medusa - The 5 Part series
by Duke-of-Rock Available on Holodeck
Rihannsu
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 16,200
# 153
07-07-2012, 08:13 AM
wait... Did you notice the Heat waves effect when you were getting ready to exit the spatial corridor in my mission? I used it there too.
Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 922
# 154
07-07-2012, 08:27 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by dalolorn View Post
Hmmm... I think Skyline475 is a great Stargate Atlantis fan... half of his maps feature the words "Atlantis", "Ascended", and "Stargate", and the principles by which his gate work are very, very, VERY similar to the Stargate functionality, but explained in a more ST way
I enjoyed the mission and did not worry about the source of the author?s inspiration. I usually do not delve that deep into the mind of the author. As authors we all have the things we like in a mission and things we exclude.

Quote:
Originally Posted by dalolorn View Post
Oh, and the Wave Empire's isolation reminds me a lot of how the Ancients went into the Pegasus galaxy, although they DID do that for entirely different reasons.

Edit: Oh, and I forgot, they're telekinetic. All they need to be now to stay true to their presumed universe of origin is to be energy beings (well, the Ascended ones, anyway)
It is a fun mission and I enjoyed playing it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by dalolorn View Post
Re-edit: Oh, by the way, could you change your ingame review of Exploratory Crisis? The bug has been fixed using the method you suggested (object interaction, that's how I understood it), and your reference to it could scare anybody who bothers to read reviews away

Alternatively I could keep the review reply I posted yesterday, which includes the fact that it's been fixed (at least a week later than I should have due to vacation and forgetfulness)
Usually I do not go back in and edit my original in game review unless I replay a mission. I?d spend more time editing the in game reviews rather than playing. You should also create a posting in the forums for your mission if you have not already done so. This will allow you to keep the players informed of any changes you make and will allow you to draw more players in.

Quote:
Originally Posted by dalolorn View Post
By the way, are your Gold Foundry slots SUPPOSED to disappear when you're no longer a Gold player? I had a game card and noticed 8 extra slots on top of my 4 starter slots, but yesterday they vanished

Re-re-edit: Well, ok, so they vanished somewhere in the past week with my 1 billion EC cap, but the point is I only noticed yesterday
I am not sure of the how that works completely because I purchased a lifetime subscription prior to the games release about 888 days ago. On the main website under "THE GAME" pull down menu there is a Free-to-Play section. In that section there is a FAQ tab. It contains a pretty comprehensive list of questions that should be able to answer your questions about this. Here is a matrix side by side comparison for the difference between Gold and Silver access.

I hope that helps.

Quote:
Originally Posted by dalolorn View Post
Re-re-re-edit: Oh, I see you brought up the issue of optional vanishing and optional permanent dialogues again xD
Yes. I feel it helps the author create a more in depth story without it becoming something the player has to complete in order to finish the map. It was first identified to me when I was creating my mission "Contamination" a couple of months ago. It can be used to trigger dialogue or other events on maps that give the player?s more options in the mission. Until the Foundry has the ability to create multiple story line outcomes it is the closest we can get to it. So I do recommend it. I also recommend it when I see the "permanent" optional dialogues "I" icons all over a map that consume the player?s attention for little more than a one liner about how the NPC is too busy to be disturbed. Once accessed by the player it goes away. So that is why I "brought up the issue" to the author and will continue to do so if I feel it can help them.

Quote:
Originally Posted by dalolorn View Post
Re-re-re-re-edit: Would you believe I'm doing all these edits within about 30 minutes of the original post? Anyway, to comment on the "Wrap Gate", I kinda like wrapping myself into a gate (wink, wink, I'm out of smileys)
Yes I believe you made all those edits that quickly.

Thanks for the feedback.
Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details. Also see Evil 70th's list of missions at "Evil 70th's Missions".
Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 922
# 155
07-07-2012, 08:33 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by thedukeofrock View Post
Greetings Brian.

I hope you have been well.

I have completed my 9th mission and humbly submit it to you for review.

Title: ABI-Artificial Borg Intelligence
By: Duke-of-Rock
Level: 16+
Starting location: Andoria system

I created this mission based on some inspiration to combine a little early 21st century with the future in STO and the conflict with the Borg.
I also made it possible for lower levels to play it using costumed characters. It seems there are just not any Borg missions for lower levels with the exception of the Red alerts or the tutorial, so I adapted to give the lower levels the capability to enjoy a Borg mission.

Hope to hear from you soon. have a great day!

Craig aka: Duke-of-Rock
Hey Craig,

Welcome back to the queue. You are currently 10th in the queue behind Desdecardo. I am working on the queue a little today and over the weekend before I head of to work at Comic-Con on Sunday. I'm not sure how much, if any I will get done over the Comic-Con week, but I will get to yours as soon as I can.

Thanks, as always, for authoring,
Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details. Also see Evil 70th's list of missions at "Evil 70th's Missions".
Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 922
# 156
07-07-2012, 08:44 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by markhawkman View Post
wait... Did you notice the Heat waves effect when you were getting ready to exit the spatial corridor in my mission? I used it there too.
Yes I saw it there too. It looked good there but I think that is because of the nature of the map you used with the particular background, proximity of the walls, including color of them, and other objects. I did some experiments in the Foundry and found that on ground and interior maps it seems to work well. On open space maps not so much. In space tunnels like the ones you used in your mission it worked well. It is possible that the effect works depending on the background, objects being used, and the distance to them on the map. In regular space the background stars are blanked out and approachable objects seem to become clearer as you approach them. It resembles fog.

Thanks,
Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details. Also see Evil 70th's list of missions at "Evil 70th's Missions".
Rihannsu
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 410
# 157
07-07-2012, 09:30 AM
Retracted.

Last edited by nrobbiec; 07-10-2012 at 08:21 AM.
Rihannsu
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 16,200
# 158
07-07-2012, 09:41 AM
Hmm... try setting "World detail distance" and "Terrain detail distance" to 100%.
Captain
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 2,263
# 159
07-07-2012, 10:32 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by evil70th View Post
I enjoyed the mission and did not worry about the source of the author?s inspiration. I usually do not delve that deep into the mind of the author. As authors we all have the things we like in a mission and things we exclude.



It is a fun mission and I enjoyed playing it.



Usually I do not go back in and edit my original in game review unless I replay a mission. I?d spend more time editing the in game reviews rather than playing. You should also create a posting in the forums for your mission if you have not already done so. This will allow you to keep the players informed of any changes you make and will allow you to draw more players in.



I am not sure of the how that works completely because I purchased a lifetime subscription prior to the games release about 888 days ago. On the main website under "THE GAME" pull down menu there is a Free-to-Play section. In that section there is a FAQ tab. It contains a pretty comprehensive list of questions that should be able to answer your questions about this. Here is a matrix side by side comparison for the difference between Gold and Silver access.

I hope that helps.



Yes. I feel it helps the author create a more in depth story without it becoming something the player has to complete in order to finish the map. It was first identified to me when I was creating my mission "Contamination" a couple of months ago. It can be used to trigger dialogue or other events on maps that give the player?s more options in the mission. Until the Foundry has the ability to create multiple story line outcomes it is the closest we can get to it. So I do recommend it. I also recommend it when I see the "permanent" optional dialogues "I" icons all over a map that consume the player?s attention for little more than a one liner about how the NPC is too busy to be disturbed. Once accessed by the player it goes away. So that is why I "brought up the issue" to the author and will continue to do so if I feel it can help them.



Yes I believe you made all those edits that quickly.

Thanks for the feedback.
Brian
1. Well, I didn't mind the apparent reference - I like Stargate, Star Wars, and Star Trek all the same.

2. I did too, except it lagged a bit whenever the Devidians appeared... I need to get a better computer.

3a. I see. Well, I guess I'll have to find a way around

3b. Yes, I was considering doing so, but never got around to it.

4. Read the Matrix shortly after getting the game in early February, and the FAQ doesn't mention Foundry slots at all. I do however know that Bridge Officer slots, Bank and Inventory slots, and (assuming you made a 3rd character, as the slot is FORCED to stay available in that case) the 3rd character slot remain functional once you unsubscribe (however they don't work for characters created afterwards, the character slot is deleted if you delete a character of the particular faction, and the character slot does NOT count as an existing one when buying new slots, so your first purchase will have 1 slot less than the name says), and I was kinda hoping Foundry slots do that too. Apparently, though, they don't.

5. I have nothing to say.

6. Yeah, I have this tendency to find new stuff to reply to that I didn't notice when reading a post, or even pluck out another post from the bunch to reply to. Speaking of which... markhawkman may have a point in the post above.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Infinite possibilities have implications that could not be completely understood if you turned this entire universe into a giant supercomputer.
And I don't pretend to understand them.
Captain
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 2,263
# 160
07-07-2012, 10:37 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by dalolorn View Post
1. Well, I didn't mind the apparent reference - I like Stargate, Star Wars, and Star Trek all the same.

2. I did too, except it lagged a bit whenever the Devidians appeared... I need to get a better computer.

3a. I see. Well, I guess I'll have to find a way around

3b. Yes, I was considering doing so, but never got around to it.

4. Read the Matrix shortly after getting the game in early February, and the FAQ doesn't mention Foundry slots at all. I do however know that Bridge Officer slots, Bank and Inventory slots, and (assuming you made a 3rd character, as the slot is FORCED to stay available in that case) the 3rd character slot remain functional once you unsubscribe (however they don't work for characters created afterwards, the character slot is deleted if you delete a character of the particular faction, and the character slot does NOT count as an existing one when buying new slots, so your first purchase will have 1 slot less than the name says), and I was kinda hoping Foundry slots do that too. Apparently, though, they don't.

5. I have nothing to say.

6. Yeah, I have this tendency to find new stuff to reply to that I didn't notice when reading a post, or even pluck out another post from the bunch to reply to. Speaking of which... markhawkman may have a point in the post above.
Edit: Besides, if you were to check that link yourself, you'd see that the Matrix is far from up-to-date, as evidenced by at least 1 lack of (or existence of wrong, which isn't the case in what I'm about to reference) information: Account Banks and who can access them.

Edit: OOPS! I could have sworn I pressed the "Edit" button.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Infinite possibilities have implications that could not be completely understood if you turned this entire universe into a giant supercomputer.
And I don't pretend to understand them.
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