Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 770
# 211
08-05-2012, 08:30 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by dalolorn View Post
Well, I might add one too...

Title: Ghosts/Spirits of the Explorer, not sure which one to pick yet.
Description: TBA
Side: Federation
Starting Point: TBA
ID: Unknown
Rank: TBA, but at least 15 or 16+ due to featuring Devidians
Author: Well dalolorn, who else?!
Estimated Mission Length: TBA
Method of Delivery: Forum post, but this application is WAY too soon and just pointing out that there will (assuming the new Foundry actor display system doesn't scare me out of the Foundry before that) be a sequel to Exploratory Crisis that will need some reviewing.
I am getting ready to start reviewing Blood of the Paw, by Desdecardo and getting into the rest of the queue this morning. This mission is not actually ready to be reviewed yet correct?

Thanks for authoring,
Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details.
Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 770
# 212
08-05-2012, 08:58 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by aelogria View Post
No problem. Just be warned, its not to be taken seriously. And some of the reviews on there are from the very first version of it. Its taken me about 16 hours of total time to get it to where it is at now. Thats with the learning curve of learning the foundry from scratch.

Its best viewed with a beer at a good knowledge of 50s Scifi serials.
Hi Desdecardo,

I was about to review your mission, Blood of the Paw but cannot find it in the list. I searched by Title, author, and by Project ID with no luck. Did you pull it or did it not get put back in when they republished the missions post Season 6? Let me know. In the meantime I am going to move to the next mission in the queue and will come back to yours if I get the go ahead from you.

Thanks for authoring,
Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details.
Captain
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,888
# 213
08-05-2012, 10:06 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by evil70th View Post
I am getting ready to start reviewing Blood of the Paw, by Desdecardo and getting into the rest of the queue this morning. This mission is not actually ready to be reviewed yet correct?

Thanks for authoring,
Brian
It doesn't even quite exist yet. I just wanted to give you a heads-up
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Oh, lovely, I can't even requote the Douglas Adams quote I used to have here I WANT IT BACK!!!!
Dalo Lorn
DaloLorn, StarCraft 2 Roleplayer and proud of it.
Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 770
# 214
08-05-2012, 12:06 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by dalolorn View Post
It doesn't even quite exist yet. I just wanted to give you a heads-up
Thanks for the heads up. Let me know when it is ready and I'll add it to the queue.

Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details.
Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 770
Quote:
Originally Posted by thedukeofrock View Post
Greetings Brian.

I hope you have been well.

I have completed my 9th mission and humbly submit it to you for review.

Title: ABI-Artificial Borg Intelligence
By: Duke-of-Rock
Level: 16+
Starting location: Andoria system

I created this mission based on some inspiration to combine a little early 21st century with the future in STO and the conflict with the Borg.
I also made it possible for lower levels to play it using costumed characters. It seems there are just not any Borg missions for lower levels with the exception of the Red alerts or the tutorial, so I adapted to give the lower levels the capability to enjoy a Borg mission.

Hope to hear from you soon. have a great day!

Craig aka: Duke-of-Rock
Federation Mission - ABI-Artificial Borg Intelligence
Author: Duke-of-Rock
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HRWGS8SZV

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: This is a great mission from the map designs, through the battles, story dialogue, and mission interactions. I hardly notice the length of the mission as I was thoroughly drawn into the story. Your use of the current stories in the media to build the story was very well done. Also your use of skinned creatures to bring the Borg to life without raising the level of the mission is very well done. If the in game rating system was working I would give this mission a 5 star rating. I would highly recommend this mission to all players who like the combination of great maps, fun battles, and excellent story dialogue. You will enjoy this mission.

Below are a couple of things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

Mission Description: This is a good description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.

Grant Mission Dialogue: This is a good grant dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

Mission Task: This is a good initial task with a clear start location for the first custom map. I noted no spelling errors with this task.

Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.

MAPS:
Andoria System: This is a nice map design but I am not sure it is necessary to the story. The player flies into the system and rendezvous with the ship then beams over. I think this could be accomplished at the mission entry point and remove this map without negatively affecting the story. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

Captain Furtok?s Ready Room: This is a good map design with excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Cyber K10 System: This is a good map design with some fun battles and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider changing the position of the vortex. When executing the map change to go through the vortex the ship suddenly turns to the right and warps away. This is most likely caused by the software not wanting the ship to warp through a solid object such as the moon behind the vortex.

Earth 21st Century: This is a nice map design. Consider expanding the story a little more by adding the probe, and have the player approach it, then scan it as part of the mission. It does not need to be far away. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The emergence from the vortex is slightly off center from the vortex.

Unmanned Probe: This is a good map design with fun puzzles and excellent story dialogue. There may have been battles on this map but I apparently got the puzzles right and did not set them off. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The post "Establish a link with the data console" dialogue; the response button "Of course not" does not seem to match the dialogue.

Earth 21st Century - The Escape: This is a nice map design with well written story dialogue and the vortex effect and exit are nicely done. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Time Vortex Wormhole: This is a good map design with excellent story dialogue and although the creatures apparently had nothing to do with the story it was still interesting. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Cyber K10 System - The Return: This is a great map design with fun battles. The story dialogue is very well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-When the complex explodes there is no blast. If you set up explosions the "Safe distance" could be too far away for the player to see it.

Cyber K10: This is a great map design with fun battles and excellent story interaction and dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The dialogue response to "I need to disable the Borg power generator first" response button; consider changing "Siganl us when you are prepared to activate them" to read "Signal us when you are prepared to activate them".

Cyber K10 System - Ending the Threat: This is a great map design with some fun battles and excellent story dialogue. The only thing I would caution you on is the Captain Furtok statements regarding the logic of the player. This could bring negative feedback from Vulcan players, despite the fact that you cannot design dialogue for every type of player. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a great job with this mission. As always I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian

This critique report also filed 08/05/2012 on forum posting for: ABI-Artificial Borg Intelligence.
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details.
Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 770
Quote:
Originally Posted by q403 View Post
Got one for you Evil.

It is for the Foundry Challenge, and completed. I want some feedback so I can make the mission excellent.


Title: Mudds' Treasures
Handle: @Q400
Faction: Federation
Estimated Length: Unknown
ID: ST-HBL2ES8IC


Note: I am finalizing the dialouge as we speak; it is not done. Some dialouge may not make sense.
Federation Mission - Mudds' Treasures
Author: Q400
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HBL2ES8IC

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: This is an interesting mission with a lot of potential. The map designs appeared to work as intended except as noted below. The story dialogue appeared to be mostly intended as place holders for future development along with the interactions and battles. I am not sure what else I can do for the review of this mission as the in game rating system is down, but good luck in the challenge.

Below are a couple of things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

Mission Description: This is an intriguing description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.

Grant Mission Dialogue: The grant dialogue is well written. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider changing "I am about to tell you something that cannot leave this channel" to read "I am about to tell you something that cannot be discussed with anyone outside of your crew".

Mission Task: This is a good initial task with a clear start location for the first custom map. I noted no spelling errors with this task.

Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider changing the entry button "Warp into the System; take precation" to read "Warp into the System; take precautions".

MAPS:
Planet Orbit: This is an interesting map design. The story dialogue, as you said seemed to not make sense. It was almost as if they are place holders. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider changing the spawn point to face the "1000 Year Old Ship".

Old Ship: The map is a very simple design with a few tough but fun battles. The story dialogue again felt as if it is intended as a place holder and did not really make a lot of sense. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The panel inside the last room seems to be further back in the wall then you intended it to be.

Space: This is a very simple map design with a good fight and very simple dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider changing the spawn point to face the "1000 Year Old Ship".

Starfleet Research Facility - Caved: This is a simple map design with dialogue that appears to be intended as place holders for further development. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider changing the optional dialogue to triggered dialogue that goes away after the player has interacted with it.
-The map transfer at the end of the map is the default "Go to Next Map" dialogue and response button. This appears to be a test of the new "Cryptic" map insertion feature in the Foundry. If so it still needs refinement as the entry into the Chiron system appears once you are in sector space. This is a step up from having to actually tell the player to beam up to go to sector space or another Cryptic map.

Deep Space Nine (Cryptic Map): This is a good use of the Cryptic map in the story but as with the others the dialogue appears to be place holders for development. The mission did not end once I clicked response button "Exit Report: Finish Mission". There were no further instructions to do anything else in the mission so I had to drop it. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. This mission has a great deal of potential to be a great mission. I am sure you can develop it into a good entry in the Foundry Challenge. Good luck and as always I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details.

Last edited by evil70th; 08-05-2012 at 02:33 PM.
Lieutenant
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 75
# 217
08-05-2012, 07:26 PM
Thanks for this ^.


The Story is meant to be set up for future development...

I am still refining the dialogue.


In fact. I have new details regarding the new mission.


Title: 2413: The Time for War
Faction: Federation
Level: TBA

Description: The Klingon, Borg, Tholian, and Mirror Universe threat has escalated. Starfleet seeks an ally. That ally may come in the form of the Dominion. The problem is, they are involved in another war. Can you sway them with the promise of returning all ships that were captured during then Dominion war, and the debt that they owe you for saving a founder?



Still working out the description, and have begun the preliminary outline. I estimate that it will be ready for publishing in November - January (depending on how fast I can think of the rest of the story.)
" Nature Decays, but latinum lasts forever."
Original Handle: @Q400
Join Date: December 2010
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 207
# 218
08-06-2012, 06:47 AM
I'd stumbled upon this thread and I have to say I'm even more eager to finish my new mission now. Though, sadly, there's a few maps missing from the Foundry preventing me from doing so.

But once the maps go back in and I finish it, I'll definitely post the information here!
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v516/BuffyFanForever/Misc%20Pics/CustomSizeforSTOSignatureImagesSelection3.jpg
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 154
Thanks for the review Brian, I am glad you enjoyed the mission. I really went out on a limb a bit with the tie-ins to current day issues.

When I completed the "creature", I really had to think hard how to make it seem feasible to fit in to a Star Trek story, so I am glad you feel I did an apt job of it. I will change around the vortex entry when I get a chance, as it makes sense why it turns and warps out. Never really considered the moon would cause it to do that so thanks for the suggestion, and thanks for catching my typo at the end.

With the build and all the triggers involved with that map, it was my longest undertaking to date. The creature itself took over 2 weeks to construct and get it close to looking the way I wanted it.

Again, I appreciate the review. I plan on doing a follow up "daily" mission with the creature so I'll let you know when I have it completed. Going to Vegas Thursday for the convention with the wife. It will be my first and I'm really excited about meeting friends and others with associations to Star Trek. Maybe I will catch my "inspiration" for the next mission I will build.

Thanks again.

Craig aka: Duke-of-Rock
ABI-Artificial Borg Intelligence by Duke-of-Rock Available on Holodeck
Also play Spawn of Medusa - The 5 Part series
by Duke-of-Rock Available on Holodeck

Last edited by thedukeofrock; 08-07-2012 at 04:25 AM.
Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 770
# 220
08-08-2012, 10:48 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by q403 View Post
Thanks for this ^.


The Story is meant to be set up for future development...

I am still refining the dialogue.


In fact. I have new details regarding the new mission.


Title: 2413: The Time for War
Faction: Federation
Level: TBA

Description: The Klingon, Borg, Tholian, and Mirror Universe threat has escalated. Starfleet seeks an ally. That ally may come in the form of the Dominion. The problem is, they are involved in another war. Can you sway them with the promise of returning all ships that were captured during then Dominion war, and the debt that they owe you for saving a founder?



Still working out the description, and have begun the preliminary outline. I estimate that it will be ready for publishing in November - January (depending on how fast I can think of the rest of the story.)
Glad I could help. That looks like it will be a fun mission based on the description. I look forward to playing/reviewing it when it is ready.

Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details.
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