I will be here whenever you are ready.

Brian

It was a fun mission and I thought you did a great job tying it all together with a present day twist.

Have fun in Vegas.
Brian

I have begun designing and assembling the components for the long-awaited "Ghosts of War, Part V" - but before I begin developing Part V in earnest, I will be remastering Parts I-IV, beginning, of course, with Part I, which I have just re-published.

Unfortunately as it turned out, the upgrades we got weren't quite what I needed to overhaul the first map the way I wanted, so I ended up only making cosmetic changes (albeit a ton of them) to that map. Most of the other changes I made were at the tail end of the mission, and yes, those changes will propagate into Parts II-IV.

Anyhoo, here is the mission info. Please have another look at it when you get the chance, O Evil One.

Mission Name: Ghosts of War, Part I
Author: paxfederatica, formerly known as the author NCC-89471
Minimum Level: 16+
Allegiance: Starfleet
ST-HBPDJHGFE
Estimated Mission Length: 20-30 minutes
Method of Report Delivery: Post to this forum thread

Hey pax,

Thanks for the re-review request for this mission. I look forward to seeing the changes you have made and the updates. I will try to get to this tonight or first thing in the morning.

Thanks for authoring,
Brian

Are you willing to do absurdly long missions? I finally got a chance to republish Treasure Hunt. Hmm.... maybe if I drop the enemy numbers I'd be quicker. I dunno why the Autorepublish didn't work on it, but the mission doesn't seem to be damaged.

Mission Name: Treasure Hunt
Author: marhawkman
Minimum Level: 31+
Allegiance: Starfleet
Estimated Mission Length: 1 hour+
Method of Report Delivery: Post to this forum thread

Federation Mission - Ghosts of War series Part I: Dust To Dust (Re-review)
Author: paxfederatica, formerly known as the author NCC-89471
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HBPDJHGFE

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: This is a great mission and seems to have survived the season 6 upgrade. I noted some of the updates you made using the new Foundry functionality. The map designs are good with several challenging battles and excellent story dialogue. The mission length is probably closer to 60 + minutes with the dialogue and combat combined. I would highly recommend this mission to all players who like a good story with their mission.

Below are a few things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

Mission Description: This is an intriguing description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.

Grant Mission Dialogue: This is a good grant dialogue with just enough of a story to draw the player in and make them want to click the "Hail" button.

Mission Task: This is a good initial description with a clear start location for the first custom map. I noted no spelling errors with this task.

Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.

MAPS:
1: CA-115 - Space: This is a nice map design with several tough battles. The story dialogue is very well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-I think you are using the "Weather Starstreaks North South 01" effect, which only works if the player is traveling at higher speeds in a northerly direction on the map. Consider changing the map set up so the spawn point is to the east of the array facing west towards the array. Then use the "Weather Starstreaks West East 01" effect. Set up a "Drop from warp" interaction in the story using an "Invisible Object" which comes in 10Fft through 1000ft size. The interaction animation you should use is the "Warp In - Federation" effect. Then you set the "Weather Starstreaks West East 01" to disappear and all the array objects to appear when the "Component Complete" is achieved. This would mean you?ll also have to move the initial enemy mob encounter as well.
-The enemy mobs are a little close to each other which can force the player to engage both at the same time. For some players this might be a little overwhelming so consider spreading the mobs a little bit further apart.

2: Verena III - Space: This is a great map design with excellent explosive effects for the satellites. The story dialogue is excellent. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

3: Verena III - Ground: This is a good map design with several tough but fun battles. The story dialogue is very well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-If a player is playing this map with high detail they will still see "Alien" plant life spread across the map. I do not think there is much you can do about this except to go into the editor with high detail set and place rocks over the plants on the map. Beyond that I don?t think you can change it that much. I just wanted to make you aware of it.
-Consider adding respawn points further into the map, especially for the last battle.

4: Verena III - Space: This is a good map design with some fun battles. The story dialogue is excellent. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

5: Emborian Nebula - Space: This is a nice map design. The story dialogue is very well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

6: Intel situation room - Interior: This is a good map design. The story dialogue is excellent and a good wrap to the mission. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did really well with this mission and if the in game review system was functioning I would give it 5 stars. As always, I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian

This critique report also filed 08/11/2012 on forum posting for: "Ghosts of War" mission series semi-official discussion thread.

Hey marhawkman,

Thanks for the review request. You are next in the queue for review. I hope to get to it either later tonight or first thing in the morning.

Thanks for authoring,
Brian

Federation Mission - Treasure Hunt
Author: marhawkman
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HAY4UN8XD

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: This is a good mission, although as you stated it is very long. The map designs are good and the story dialogue is well written throughout. I did notice that you went from "Vorn Ground#2" to "Vorn Ground#4" with the "green cave" and "Gorath Cave" in between. I was thinking you might have changed the map or deleted the "Vorn Ground#3" map at some point and just missed that.

Most of the battles are pretty tough and without respawn points deeper into the maps it can be very hard to beat the enemy. Several of those battles are really tough on Normal level so I would not try them on Elite as they would most likely be impossible. I would still recommend this mission to other players who like great map designs combined with tough battles and an intriguing story.

On the Vorn Ground map and the Final Vault map the player fights Jem'Hadar troops and on the rest of the other ground and cave maps the player fights Cardassian troops. This seemed odd to me as I played through the mission. The last map enemy mobs seemed to fit in with the overall mission wrap up I felt you were going for.

I have not mentioned this recently but your use of the response button "Continue" was a little excessive. I have seen it used in other missions that I recently reviewed but most of them here felt out of place. Even though I have noted the excessive use of the response button "Continue" in Cryptic missions it still feels odd to me when playing through a mission. That is why I point it out in my reviews. Consider changing most of them to some response more appropriate to the dialogue.

Below are some things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

Mission Description: Realizing you are still completing some of the elements for this mission the description needs more of a story to draw the player in and make them want to click the "Hail" button. I noted no spelling errors with this description. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Realizing this is just a note but consider changing "this project is not" to read "This project is not".

Grant Mission Dialogue: Realizing you are still completing some of the elements for this mission the grant dialogue needs more of a story to draw the player in and make them want to "Accept" this mission. The dialogue that follows the grant dialogue would be good in the grant dialogue field. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

Mission Task: When you are done developing this mission make sure you include the start location for the first custom map in the initial task. I noted no spelling errors with this task.

Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt. I noted one item to consider changing;
-In the grant dialogue you indicate that a "Transwarp Gate" had been found, but on arrival at Wolf 359 we simply beam down to the planet. This feels a little odd with no explanation to cover it. Consider changing the story so instead of a transwarp gate it could be a planetoid discovered in the Wolf 359 system that appears to have been terraformed by Borg nanites.

MAPS:
Vorn Ground: This is a good map design with some tough but fun battles. The story dialogue is well written. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider adding a "Borg Beaming" animation effect to the "Bypass the first Borg Barrier" interaction.
-Consider adding a "Typing Wall Console" effect to the "Turn off the Forcefield" interaction.
-The post "Turn off the Forcefield" dialogue; consider changing the response button "that can't be good for the plants" to read "That can't be good for the plants".
-Consider changing the mission tasks "use the first console" through "use the last console" to read "Use the first console" through "Use the last console".
-For those tasks consider changing the default "Interact" button to read "Access console" or something along those lines.
-The post "use the last console" dialogue; consider changing the response button "Continue" to read "Let's go" or something along those lines.
-Consider placing respawn points deeper into the map.
-The map transfer dialogue; consider changing the NPC to the Science Officer Away Team vice the Ship Science Officer.
-Consider changing the map transfer dialogue "Enter vault" to read "The vault is unlocked".
-Consider changing the response button "enter" to read "Here we go" or something along those lines.

firey cave: This is a good map design with several tough battles and well written story dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider changing the map name "firey cave" to read "Fiery Cave".
-The initial dialogue; consider changing the response button "Continue" to read "On our way" or something along those lines.
-Consider placing respawn points deeper into the map.
-The map transfer dialogue; consider changing the NPC to the Science Officer Away Team vice the Ship Science Officer.
-Consider changing the map transfer dialogue "Return to the valley" to read "We should continue exploring the valley" or something along those lines.
-Consider changing the response button from the default "Go to Next Map" to read "Agreed" or something along those lines.

Vorn Ground#2: This is a good map design with several tough battles and the last one is very tough. I would not recommend this on Elite. The story dialogue is well written. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The initial dialogue; consider changing the response button "Continue" to read "Let's go" or something along those lines.
-The secondary dialogue with the Away Team Engineer; consider changing the response button "Continue" to read "Understood" or something along those lines. From this point forward I will note the maps where the response button "Continue" is used in situation where another response might fit better.
-The "Destroy the Borg energy relay" task; consider changing the task to an initial setup followed by a move back to a safe distance from the relay before triggering the "cross circuit converter" action. That would prevent the player or away team from getting caught in the debris and then you could remove the warning in the previous dialogue.
-If you already have an explosion effect in "cross circuit converter" action consider changing it as it does not appear to work. If you have not added one consider doing so as it would add to the effect of the relay being destroyed.
-Consider changing the interaction button "cross circuit converter" to read "Cross circuit converter".
-Consider placing respawn points deeper into the map, especially near the last battle.
-The map transfer dialogue; consider changing the NPC to the Science Officer Away Team vice the Ship Science Officer.
-Consider changing the map transfer dialogue "enter the vault" to read "Ready to enter the next vault" or something along those lines.
-Consider changing the response button "Enter" to read "Let's see what's in here" or something along those lines.

green cave: This is a good map design with several tough battles. The story dialogue is well written. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider changing the map name "green cave" to read "Green Cave".
-The use of the response button "Continue".
-Consider changing the mission task "enter door to next cave section" to read "Enter door to next cave section".
-Consider changing the interaction button "enter door" to read "Open door".
-Consider placing respawn points deeper into the map.
-The map transfer dialogue; consider changing the NPC to the Science Officer Away Team vice the Ship Science Officer.
-Consider changing the map transfer dialogue "Go to the next set of chambers" to read "We should continue exploring this cave" or something along those lines.
-Consider changing the response button from the default "Go to Next Map" to read "Agreed" or something along those lines.

Gorath Cave: This is a great map design with several tough battles. The story dialogue is well written. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".
-For the "Turn off the forcefield barrier" consider changing the default "Interact" button to read "Access console" or something along those lines.
-Consider changing the mission task "disengage the containment field" to read "Disengage the containment field"
-Consider changing all of the default "Interact" buttons to read "Access console" or something along those lines.
-Consider changing the mission task "scan the containment field" to read "Scan the containment field".
-Since the mission task is "scan the containment field" consider changing the button to "Scan", or change the task to "Disable the containment field".
-Consider placing respawn points deeper into the map.
-The map transfer dialogue; consider changing the NPC to the Science Officer Away Team vice the Ship Science Officer.
-Consider changing the map transfer dialogue "Exit cave" to read "We should continue exploring the valley" or something along those lines.
-Consider changing the response button from the default "Go to Next Map" to read "Agreed" or something along those lines.

Vorn Ground#4: This is a good map design with some tough but fun battles. The story dialogue is well written. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".
-On previous maps "Tetin" gave a brief description of what the player needed to do but this map uses the player's NPC Tactical Officer. The NPC Tactical Officer starts off talking about the forces between the player and the "barrier" that would have been mentioned by "Tetin" as on the previous ground maps.
-The Tactical Officer dialogue; consider changing "There's a bunch more ground troops" to read "There's several ground troops".
-Consider changing the mission task "reach the other end" to read "Reach the other end".
-The "Turn off the barrier" mission task was interesting.
-The map transfer dialogue; consider changing the NPC to the Science Officer Away Team vice the Ship Science Officer.
-Consider changing the map transfer dialogue "Continue to the next objective" to read "The barrier is down" or something along those lines.
-Consider changing the response button from the default "Go to Next Map" to read "Let's go" or something along those lines.

Vorn Ground#5: This is an interesting map design. The story dialogue is well written. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider changing mission task "touch beacon 1" through "touch beacon 4" to read "Access beacon 1" through "Access beacon 4".
-Consider changing the interaction buttons from the default "Interact" to read "Access beacon 1" and so on.
-The way you placed the consoles in hard to get to places was very intriguing at first, but after spending a lot of time trying to find each console it became tedious.
-The map transfer dialogue; consider changing the NPC to the Science Officer Away Team vice the Ship Science Officer.
-Consider changing the map transfer dialogue "Enter Vault" to read "The vault door is unlocked" or something along those lines.
-Consider changing the response button from the default "Go to Next Map" to read "Here we go" or something along those lines.

Final Vault: This is a good map design with some tough battles. The story dialogue is well written. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The post "Move closer to the energy readings" dialogue; consider changing the response button "okay" to read "Okay".
-Consider changing the response button "fight" to read "Fight".
-Consider changing the "Go to the source of the anomalous readings" interaction button "Interact" to read "Scan" or something along those lines.
-The map transfer dialogue; consider changing the NPC to the Science Officer Away Team vice the Ship Science Officer. This would make more sense since it is the Science Officer Away Team who scans the portal.

Subspace Corridor: This is a good map design with several tough but fun battles. The story dialogue is very well written. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The initial dialogue; consider changing response button "so that's what the Changeling was so scared of" to read "So that's what the Changeling was so scared of".

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a good job with this mission despite the fact it is really long. I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian

Mission Name: Worlds Apart
Author: @ltbarber
Minimum Level: All Levels
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HI9EQ6ZGB
Estimated Mission Length: 40-60mins
Method of Report Delivery: Forum post and ingame mail if you can manage it please.

Thanks Evil

Thanks!

Vorn Ground#3 was much like the last Vorn segment, but..... harder.... in retrospect, too hard. I had fun ideas for what to do with the map, but I had issues with getting my ideas to actually work and eventually dumped the idea. My attempts to make it work ended up creating a jumbled mess of a map. I didn't delete the map, it took hours to arrange the stuff and I didn't want to destroy it. I simply removed all the objectives.

In case you're wondering, my Foundry Char is an Andorian named Tetin and the park ranger NPC that I used for the picture looks like her. So, when talking to the Tetin char in the story you're basically talking to my Foundry char.

Continue: yeah, I need to redo that.

Capitalization: that too.

more spawn points? not a bad idea. especially on the combat maps.

Vorn1: good ideas on the animations. I didn't think of that earlier.

I had the wrong Sci officer? huh... Maybe it's an artifact of this being my second foundry mission. I created it either during or before season 4 was released. IIRC back then the sci officer prompt didn't have an away team option.

Vorn2: good idea on the converter, it makes sense and it avoids that dumb glitch. Fun fact: if you stand on top of the converter when it blows the game actually moves you to a point about 10 yard from the convertor when it replaces the object. Why can't it do that when you stand inside it? Explosion? I'll have to check.

Vorn4: hunh... I left out Tetin? oops...

Vorn5: Tedious... Hmm.... this is one of those maps where I wish I could add walkways. It would have made several aspects easier. And why did they have to put that stupid mushroom in the middle? Btw did you notice that there's two paths around the mushroom? The second path isn't easy to use or easily visible. I really wish I could have added a few catwalks to this map. Do you think it might help to add a short description of the beacon locations to the mission dialog?

Why Jem'Hadar? I didn't have a good reason to use a specific faction, and the idea I was working with was that the enemy force was a mix of the two... but that's not explained in the story at all.

Thanks again for the review. I'm glad you liked it as much as you did.