Captain
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 658
# 11
08-15-2012, 02:18 AM
My favourite KDF ship to date is the Hegh'ta heavy bird of prey. Not only is it free, it kicks major butt and is the only (redneck engineered) science vessel with DHCs out there.

This bird of prey is also really angry and loves crapping on its archenemy the Fed Pigs. Despite complaints to the local authorities, cruisers are routinely found with thousands of bird craps on them every morning.

Thus named IKS Iratus Avis (latin for angry bird), my angry bird of prey is a rather capable warship as it is annoying crapping all over the Fed'Pigs' cruisers.

The official mascot of the Angry Bird's crew is a huge green angry bird pillow which is unceremonially stuck onto the front end of a B'Rel Retrofit BoP creating a rather accurate visage of the Angry Bird of Prey.

Now for a demonstration of this huge nasty bird visiting your shipyard and 'doing its usual business' perhaps you'd like to watch this Hegh'ta PvP video but mute the sound and play this theme song in its place.

Then you will see that Angry Birds is really not that dissimilar to STO

Disclaimer:

I have not actually tried putting the angry birds sountrack over an STO video. I have no idea wtf will happen or if your computer would combust spontaneously.

Ps. The threat of angry bird attack is so dire that scientists at the Smart Research Institute at the Mercedes star system had crafted a writeup (with graphics) to illustrate how many BoP craps it takes to damage a Federation cruiser, albeit a small one.
STF Flight Instructor since Early 2012. Newbies are the reason why STO lives and breathes today. Do not discriminate.

My Youtube Channel

Last edited by carmenara; 08-15-2012 at 02:21 AM.
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 584
# 12
08-15-2012, 05:30 AM
I'd hate to be the captain the Oddyseys, the retrofit Galaxy class variants, and the Advanced Prometheus type starships. Why? Because they tend to go to pieces when combat starts... Either their saucer sections come off or the whole ship comes apart...
Captain
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 658
# 13
08-15-2012, 06:33 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by lonnehart View Post
I'd hate to be the captain the Oddyseys, the retrofit Galaxy class variants, and the Advanced Prometheus type starships. Why? Because they tend to go to pieces when combat starts... Either their saucer sections come off or the whole ship comes apart...
Captain: This is the captain speaking, in a few minutes we will enter glorious battle... and disintegrate.

Passenger: But I don't wanna disintegrate!

Source:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G1IMM5XOwaM
STF Flight Instructor since Early 2012. Newbies are the reason why STO lives and breathes today. Do not discriminate.

My Youtube Channel
Lieutenant
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 71
# 14
08-15-2012, 07:11 AM
(On pretty much any ship)

Captain: Tactical! We've only got one shot at this to destroy the Borg ship! Release the metreon gas from our nacelles!

Tactical: Sorry, captain, we can't do that.

Captain: Let me see this (looks at his control console, and the command is on there)

Captain: Look, See?! We can open our bussard collectors and vent it out. It's our only chance!

Tactical: Sorry captain, but we don't have the console, all we can d---

BOOM!!!
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 584
# 15
08-15-2012, 05:34 PM
So... how many players undock from a station, look at the Galaxy Class vessel they're controlling, and then ask everyone around them...

"Does this ship make me look fat?"
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 57
# 16
08-15-2012, 06:14 PM
Admiral: "Well lookit that... looks like a pregnant guppy sucking on a pie tin"

Ensign: "Umm, Admiral? That's your new Excelsior"
Captain
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 658
# 17
08-15-2012, 10:02 PM
"For the last time... My Defiant is NOT SMALL"

^ Overheard on zone chat.
STF Flight Instructor since Early 2012. Newbies are the reason why STO lives and breathes today. Do not discriminate.

My Youtube Channel
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,927
# 18
08-15-2012, 10:09 PM
My Odyssey is such a slut. She takes her top off for the littlest things and next thing you know she's out there FAWking two or three targets at once!
Empire Veteran
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 5,615
# 19
08-15-2012, 11:41 PM
Bortas comm officer: Captain, Starfleet Miranda-class Frigate is on sensors. We have blocked long-range communications.

Bortas captain: Good, prepare to fire.

Bortas tactical officer: Sir, the enemy ship is firing it's phasers, they are not even denting our shields! They have launched a photon torpedo. It's hitting our shields, now.

Bortas medical officer: Captain, we're receiving casualty reports from all over the ship! At least 300 dead bekks, and many more injured!

Bortas captain: What new Starfleet trick is this?! Prepare the Disruptor Autocannon, all weapons, FIRE!

*Bortas unloads it's entire payload of weaponry onto the Miranda, which is destroyed in moments*

Bortas tactical officer: Ship destroyed, Captain.

Bortas captain: Good.

Captain
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 658
# 20
08-16-2012, 02:20 AM
LOL @ torpedo casualties.

The fault lies with Cryptic programming the torpedoes to do something like -50% or -20% crew damage per hit according to the game stats.

Probably never bothered to rebalance the stats to take into account the current year's giant flagships, carriers, etc.... and the fact that these giant ships should in the first place have superior inertial damping and emergency forcefields built as standard.
STF Flight Instructor since Early 2012. Newbies are the reason why STO lives and breathes today. Do not discriminate.

My Youtube Channel
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