Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 830
# 231
08-15-2012, 07:36 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by angelgiga View Post
Mission Name: Worlds Apart
Author: @ltbarber
Minimum Level: All Levels
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HI9EQ6ZGB
Estimated Mission Length: 40-60mins
Method of Report Delivery: Forum post and ingame mail if you can manage it please.

Thanks Evil
Hey angelgiga, aka ltbarber,

Thanks for the review request. I?m working evenings this week so I have some time in the mornings to play. I will try to get to this today, if not tomorrow. I?ll post here and will try to send it to you via in-game email.

Thanks for authoring,
Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details. Also see Evil 70th's list of missions at "Evil 70th's Missions".
Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 830
# 232
08-15-2012, 08:16 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by markhawkman View Post
Thanks!

Vorn Ground#3 was much like the last Vorn segment, but..... harder.... in retrospect, too hard. I had fun ideas for what to do with the map, but I had issues with getting my ideas to actually work and eventually dumped the idea. My attempts to make it work ended up creating a jumbled mess of a map. I didn't delete the map, it took hours to arrange the stuff and I didn't want to destroy it. I simply removed all the objectives.
The details on the Vorn Ground maps are quite well done. The reason I mentioned it was I thought you had replaced it and forgot to rename the other maps. Perhaps rename it and the others just so they fall in line with each other.

Quote:
Originally Posted by markhawkman View Post
In case you're wondering, my Foundry Char is an Andorian named Tetin and the park ranger NPC that I used for the picture looks like her. So, when talking to the Tetin char in the story you're basically talking to my Foundry char.
At first I wondered why the NPC was there talking to me, but got used to it pretty quickly.

Quote:
Originally Posted by markhawkman View Post
Continue: yeah, I need to redo that.

Capitalization: that too.

more spawn points? not a bad idea. especially on the combat maps.

Vorn1: good ideas on the animations. I didn't think of that earlier.

I had the wrong Sci officer? huh... Maybe it's an artifact of this being my second foundry mission. I created it either during or before season 4 was released. IIRC back then the sci officer prompt didn't have an away team option.
Those respawn points will help the players enjoy the mission more on the combat maps so they do not have to run all the way across a map to find the bad guy back at full strength. You still have a couple of the maps with some pretty tough enemy mobs, which is why I would not recommend players do this mission on Elite. It was tough enough on Normal.

The Science Officer Away Team would make more sense. For all the NPC input you should make sure they are Away Team unless it is a ship specific contact. The lack of option for that NPC was probably a glitch, and I did not notice because I was busy reviewing rather than creating.

Quote:
Originally Posted by markhawkman View Post
Vorn2: good idea on the converter, it makes sense and it avoids that dumb glitch. Fun fact: if you stand on top of the converter when it blows the game actually moves you to a point about 10 yard from the convertor when it replaces the object. Why can't it do that when you stand inside it? Explosion? I'll have to check.
Most likely because one position is on top of the object and the other is essentially underneath it. So when the program makes the debris appear and the converter disappears it bumps the one on top away while trapping the one beneath it. Kind of like when you spawn on a Cryptic map and someone else spawns shortly after you in the same spot. It bumps you or them out of the way of the other so you are not right on top of each other. I've seen this in other games before.

The explosion would add to the effect of the destruction of the converter and would add to the story.

Quote:
Originally Posted by markhawkman View Post
Vorn4: hunh... I left out Tetin? oops...
Yes, and after I had gotten used to her.

Quote:
Originally Posted by markhawkman View Post
Vorn5: Tedious... Hmm.... this is one of those maps where I wish I could add walkways. It would have made several aspects easier. And why did they have to put that stupid mushroom in the middle? Btw did you notice that there's two paths around the mushroom? The second path isn't easy to use or easily visible. I really wish I could have added a few catwalks to this map. Do you think it might help to add a short description of the beacon locations to the mission dialog?
It would be much easier if there were walkways and more steps that you could use to build it with. With no clear walkways or steps it is left to the player to figure out how to proceed. With so many points to reach and in so many locations it made it difficult to find. In the end I spent almost 30 minutes trying to find a path to all the objectives. That is why I said it became tedious. A good puzzle is always fun but not one that takes 30 minutes to complete. I noted that at several points I could have fallen off the structure, which would have made it even longer to find the objectives. I brought the whole thing up because if your players get bored they will likely drop a mission.

Quote:
Originally Posted by markhawkman View Post
Why Jem'Hadar? I didn't have a good reason to use a specific faction, and the idea I was working with was that the enemy force was a mix of the two... but that's not explained in the story at all.
In general a mix of forces does not work without a good reason that is briefly explained in the story dialogue. Usually it is better to pick one and stick to it unless the story really needs it to drive it forward. The story could be the "Trueway forces found out about the vaults and sent their people to investigate and find weapons" or something along those lines. Of course the same could be done for "Jem'Hadar" forces as well. As long as the player knows that from the story dialogue they will not think you put the wrong enemy mob in. This could be explained by adding to Tetin's dialogue. Something at the start of the mission like; "Intelligence indicates that both Trueway and Jem'Hadar forces have taken an interest in this planet and the vaults as a potential weapons resource". That would be a simple one line piece of dialogue that opens you up to add the enemy mobs you want for any of the maps.

Quote:
Originally Posted by markhawkman View Post
Thanks again for the review. I'm glad you liked it as much as you did.
I am glad I could help as that is my goal. Thanks for authoring,
Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details. Also see Evil 70th's list of missions at "Evil 70th's Missions".
Lieutenant
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 30
# 233
08-15-2012, 11:44 AM
Do you review first attempts in review limbo? With the rating system down, it would help to have an outside opinion.

Mission Name: Mindcrawlers
Author: k668
Minimum Level: 0
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HMSZD9EED
Estimated Mission Length: 30 minutes
Method of Report Delivery: Forum post

Peace.
Rihannsu
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 13,565
# 234
08-15-2012, 01:29 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Evil70th
It would be much easier if there were walkways and more steps that you could use to build it with. With no clear walkways or steps it is left to the player to figure out how to proceed. With so many points to reach and in so many locations it made it difficult to find. In the end I spent almost 30 minutes trying to find a path to all the objectives. That is why I said it became tedious. A good puzzle is always fun but not one that takes 30 minutes to complete. I noted that at several points I could have fallen off the structure, which would have made it even longer to find the objectives. I brought the whole thing up because if your players get bored they will likely drop a mission.
yeah falling off is a problem all right. It only takes me a few seconds to run to all 4 points, but... I know where they are, and the easiest ways to get to them. hmm.... what do you think about adding hint text on how to get to them?

I should be able to go back and fix the Sci officers. I hadn't really noticed before. Tetin's Away team sci guy is the same as her space.
HAIL HYDRA!

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
I can haz joystick!
MMOs aren't charities. Corporations are supposed to make a profit. It's what they do.
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 952
# 235
08-15-2012, 08:42 PM
Thanks again for your latest review of "Ghosts of War, Part I". I probably won't have you re-review my changes, but I thought I'd quickly respond to your comments.

Quote:
Originally Posted by evil70th View Post
MAPS:
1: CA-115 - Space: This is a nice map design with several tough battles. The story dialogue is very well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-I think you are using the "Weather Starstreaks North South 01" effect, which only works if the player is traveling at higher speeds in a northerly direction on the map. Consider changing the map set up so the spawn point is to the east of the array facing west towards the array. Then use the "Weather Starstreaks West East 01" effect. Set up a "Drop from warp" interaction in the story using an "Invisible Object" which comes in 10Fft through 1000ft size. The interaction animation you should use is the "Warp In - Federation" effect. Then you set the "Weather Starstreaks West East 01" to disappear and all the array objects to appear when the "Component Complete" is achieved. This would mean you?ll also have to move the initial enemy mob encounter as well.
This might be doable, but tricky. For the redesign I didn't just space the nodes out more, I also shoved the array into the "northeastern" quadrant of the map (to give the player more room to maneuver in the initial battles; the original version put the center of the array at the dead center of the map). I may have to spawn right at the eastern edge of the map, or close to it, to make the change you suggest.

BTW, what I currently do is set up a bunch of invisible walls around the ship so that it is more or less locked into position (facing north) until you're done speaking with Adm. Youngs. Then I drop the walls and tell the player to move forward toward the approach point. Once that marker is reached, I simultaneously hide the starstreak effect and reveal the array nodes.


Quote:
Originally Posted by evil70th View Post
2: Verena III - Space: This is a great map design with excellent explosive effects for the satellites. The story dialogue is excellent. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
Funny you mention this - from time to time I still see the "delayed explosion" problem that you once mentioned in a previous review of this mission. It's not quite as bad as it used to be, but it still does happen sometimes.

Quote:
Originally Posted by evil70th View Post
3: Verena III - Ground: This is a good map design with several tough but fun battles. The story dialogue is very well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-If a player is playing this map with high detail they will still see "Alien" plant life spread across the map. I do not think there is much you can do about this except to go into the editor with high detail set and place rocks over the plants on the map. Beyond that I don?t think you can change it that much. I just wanted to make you aware of it.
-Consider adding respawn points further into the map, especially for the last battle.
Thanks for mentioning the high-detail issue, as, of course, the planet is meant to be completely lifeless. I will see about placing rocks over the plants, at least in the areas of the map where the player is expected to go.
Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 830
# 236
08-16-2012, 08:43 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by k668 View Post
Do you review first attempts in review limbo? With the rating system down, it would help to have an outside opinion.

Mission Name: Mindcrawlers
Author: k668
Minimum Level: 0
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HMSZD9EED
Estimated Mission Length: 30 minutes
Method of Report Delivery: Forum post

Peace.
Hi k668,

Thanks for the review request. I signed up a long time ago as a reviewer of content so, yes I can review your mission while the rating system is down, and you sit in rating limbo. Your mission is next in the queue for review and I hope to get to it tomorrow morning as I am currently working evenings this week so my review pattern is reversed.

Thanks for authoring,
Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details. Also see Evil 70th's list of missions at "Evil 70th's Missions".
Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 830
# 237
08-16-2012, 08:50 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by markhawkman View Post
yeah falling off is a problem all right. It only takes me a few seconds to run to all 4 points, but... I know where they are, and the easiest ways to get to them. hmm.... what do you think about adding hint text on how to get to them?
It is always easier to find them if you know where they are. As for hint text, that could work but part of the problem was the path to get to each one is not always clearly seen. For example, on the first steps to get up from the ground are Borg consoles buried in the wall. That may not catch the average player's eye right away. In those cases you may want to build stairs that are clearly stairs using blocks or something like that. As for some of the walkways, you could use the generic deck grates that are available in the Foundry to create elevated walkways. Those would also work for creating the steps.

Quote:
Originally Posted by markhawkman View Post
I should be able to go back and fix the Sci officers. I hadn't really noticed before. Tetin's Away team sci guy is the same as her space.
My crew setup has two different NPC's assigned to all of the roles, which is why it jumped out at me.

Hope that helps,
Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details. Also see Evil 70th's list of missions at "Evil 70th's Missions".
Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 830
# 238
08-16-2012, 08:58 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by paxfederatica View Post
Thanks again for your latest review of "Ghosts of War, Part I". I probably won't have you re-review my changes, but I thought I'd quickly respond to your comments.
No problem, glad I could help.

Quote:
Originally Posted by paxfederatica View Post
This might be doable, but tricky. For the redesign I didn't just space the nodes out more, I also shoved the array into the "northeastern" quadrant of the map (to give the player more room to maneuver in the initial battles; the original version put the center of the array at the dead center of the map). I may have to spawn right at the eastern edge of the map, or close to it, to make the change you suggest.

BTW, what I currently do is set up a bunch of invisible walls around the ship so that it is more or less locked into position (facing north) until you're done speaking with Adm. Youngs. Then I drop the walls and tell the player to move forward toward the approach point. Once that marker is reached, I simultaneously hide the starstreak effect and reveal the array nodes.
The "Coming from warp" interaction animation would help make it feel more like the player is dropping out of warp. The rest of it works well but I wanted to suggest a way that it would work even better with the warp streaks.

Quote:
Originally Posted by paxfederatica View Post
Funny you mention this - from time to time I still see the "delayed explosion" problem that you once mentioned in a previous review of this mission. It's not quite as bad as it used to be, but it still does happen sometimes.
I think the first time I reviewed this mission Cryptic had not yet fixed the explosion effect for the space maps. So it would work in testing but not once the mission was published. Now it appears to be fixed and looks a lot better.

Quote:
Originally Posted by paxfederatica View Post
Thanks for mentioning the high-detail issue, as, of course, the planet is meant to be completely lifeless. I will see about placing rocks over the plants, at least in the areas of the map where the player is expected to go.
As always, I am glad I could help. My goal is to give constructive feedback that helps the author make a good mission. This helps to enrich the play environment for everyone.

Thanks for authoring,
Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details. Also see Evil 70th's list of missions at "Evil 70th's Missions".
Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 830
Quote:
Originally Posted by angelgiga View Post
Mission Name: Worlds Apart
Author: @ltbarber
Minimum Level: All Levels
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HI9EQ6ZGB
Estimated Mission Length: 40-60mins
Method of Report Delivery: Forum post and ingame mail if you can manage it please.

Thanks Evil
Federation Mission - Worlds Apart
Author: ltbarber
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HI9EQ6ZGB

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: This is a good mission with nice map designs and several tough ground and space battles. I would not recommend this mission on Elite as some of the battles are very tough on Normal and would most likely be impossible on Elite. That said I would still recommend this mission to all players who like a good mix of dialogue, battles, and interaction objectives.

I would give this mission a 4 star rating as a good mission that is fun to play, but the in game rating system is currently down. Until that is back up and running you will not be able to get the minimum of 5 ratings, which means this mission can only be played by players who have signed up to "Review Content".

The puzzles you created were fun but not all players will like them. That is why I recommended adding "Skip" buttons. I usually recommend dialogue heavy missions add a "Skip Dialogue" button that provides the player with a summary of what the player needs to know in order to not be lost.

Below are some things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

Mission Description: This is a good and intriguing description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.

Grant Mission Dialogue: This is a good grant dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

Mission Task: The initial task should contain the start location for the first custom map. I noted no spelling errors with this task.

Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.

MAPS:
Kassae System: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-For the "Scan the First Satellite" task; consider adding a "Skip Math" or "Skip Puzzle" button for the player that does not want to do math or puzzles.
-For the "Scan the Second Satellite" task; consider adding a "Skip Puzzle" button for players who do not want to do puzzles.
-Consider moving the trigger point for the map transfer to the other side of the temporal distortion so the player has to fly into it. If triggered before it the ship pivots away from it and the warps out.

Kassae System: This is a good map design with s very tough battle and well written story dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The initial dialogue; consider changing "What is more, I am reading some cloaked Klingon signatures dead ahead" to read "I am picking up cloaked Klingon ships dead ahead".
-You placed two heavy enemy mobs right on top of the spawn point. Consider spreading out the enemy to give the player a chance.

U.S.S. Valkyrie Bridge: This is a good map design with well written dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

U.S.S. Valkyrie Deck 7: This is a good map design with some tough but fun battles. The story dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

U.S.S. Valkyrie Deck 15: This is a good map design with several tough battles. The story dialogue is well written. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The mission task states, "Speak to Resistance Leader" the interact button states, "Talk to Rear Admiral Black". Is there a plot point I missed about a resistance movement?
-The post "Free Commander Najada" dialogue; consider changing "We simply can not have them roaming about the ship" to read "We simply cannot have them roaming about the ship".
-Consider placing respawn points further into the map near the end.
-The first "Calibrate Deflector Dish" task; consider adding a "Skip" button to bypass the riddle.
-The second "Calibrate Deflector Dish" task; consider adding a "Skip math" button for the player that does not want to do math.
-The third "Calibrate Deflector Dish" task; consider adding a "Skip math" button for the player that does not want to do math.

U.S.S. Valkyrie Bridge: This is a good map design with well written dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Kassae System: This is a good map design with some tough battles grouped together. The story dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider balancing the battle by adding more reinforcements. By the time I wiped out one enemy force most of the reinforcements were destroyed and I ended up fighting the others by myself.
-Consider moving the trigger point for the map transfer to the other side of the temporal distortion so the player has to fly into it. If triggered before it the ship pivots away from it and the warps out.

Kassae System: This is a good map design with well written dialogue and a nice wrap up to the mission. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a good job with this mission. I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details. Also see Evil 70th's list of missions at "Evil 70th's Missions".
Rihannsu
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 13,565
# 240
08-16-2012, 09:51 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by evil70th View Post
It is always easier to find them if you know where they are. As for hint text, that could work but part of the problem was the path to get to each one is not always clearly seen. For example, on the first steps to get up from the ground are Borg consoles buried in the wall. That may not catch the average player's eye right away. In those cases you may want to build stairs that are clearly stairs using blocks or something like that. As for some of the walkways, you could use the generic deck grates that are available in the Foundry to create elevated walkways. Those would also work for creating the steps.
Grate? Hmm... interesting idea. What is the specific item name? EDIT: there's only one item named "grate".

Anyways, I've been thinking about using the Borg blocks to disguise a giant ramp like the one in the top right part of the map. The big issue with falling off is how long it takes to get back up. If you can simply run up it's less of an issue.
HAIL HYDRA!

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
I can haz joystick!
MMOs aren't charities. Corporations are supposed to make a profit. It's what they do.

Last edited by markhawkman; 08-17-2012 at 09:33 AM.
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