Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 4,305
# 21
08-16-2012, 03:20 AM
Olympic Class Captain:

Captain's Log, supplimental: Following an encounter with Q I have decided to put in a request for a new ship. Being chased by an omnipitent being with a giant golf-club is an experience that no Starfleet club should have to face.

STAR TREK BATTLES - HIGH DPS PLAYERS NEED NOT APPY
Empire Veteran
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 5,552
# 22
08-16-2012, 10:42 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by carmenara View Post
LOL @ torpedo casualties.

The fault lies with Cryptic programming the torpedoes to do something like -50% or -20% crew damage per hit according to the game stats.

Probably never bothered to rebalance the stats to take into account the current year's giant flagships, carriers, etc.... and the fact that these giant ships should in the first place have superior inertial damping and emergency forcefields built as standard.
Indeed on that. When I keep getting plastered by waves of fighters in PvP, all who are unloading torpedoes CONSTANTLY, they shouldn't be instantly injuring/killing my crew. Now on a small ship I could go with it, but a huge ship, not so much. Hence why I made that little skit there.

Oh yes, speaking of that...

Multi-vector escorts all have split-personality disorder.

Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 560
# 23
08-16-2012, 01:30 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by reyan01 View Post
Olympic Class Captain:

Captain's Log, supplimental: Following an encounter with Q I have decided to put in a request for a new ship. Being chased by an omnipitent being with a giant golf-club is an experience that no Starfleet club should have to face.
Thank you. Now I have coffee all over my monitor...
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 849
# 24
08-16-2012, 10:36 PM
Ops Officer: Sir, a squadron of Orion corvettes on sensors, bearing oh-three-six mark two-zero. They seem to be minding their own business.
Captain: Destroy them.
Ops: Sir, they're not attacking us, they're not even moving to intercept.
Cap: Do it anyway.
Ops: Can we at least disable them?
Cap: Nope. I want loot. Kill them.

LOOT

-------------------

Ops: Sir, a fleet of Borg cubes is approaching, estimated 64 vessels!
Captain: RUUUUN!
Ops: Sir, another contact... it's a giant humanoid, but it's all... blocky. It's swinging it's arm at the cubes... they're exploding!
Captain: Our lucky day!
Ops: I wouldn't be so sure... the fleet is gone, but I'm reading the contact approaching us... THE CUBES ARE REAPPEARING! We're being encased!

When STO meets Minecraft

-------------------

Captain's log, stardate 90001.99. 33 centimeters long. Left in the hallway. I've requested a transfer to another ship... Having the bridge in the saucer and the only bathroom on the drive section is a real pain on this Oberth-class, since there's not even a lift down. I just wish the transporters weren't under maintenance at the time...

Oberth-class Captain's Log.
CHARACTER GRID (@Lord-Ice):
___ |___ _ Fed ____| ____ _KDF __ ____| Rom
Tac_|_Thomas Hale_| __ __Illusion _____| Silence (K)
Eng | ___Antilles _ _| _ Mirror Rygobeth__| N'Vek (F)
Sci _| __ Rygobeth _| _Lukor Son of Q'Tar | Devala (F)
Empire Veteran
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 5,552
# 25
08-17-2012, 11:17 PM
Any and every Odyssey and Bortas captain ever: *running like mad from one end of their ship to the other to get to the bridge*

Officer: Captain on the bridge!

Captain: *panting, leaning against a console* The ship is too big. If I'd walked, the mission would be over.

Lt. Commander
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 172
# 26
08-18-2012, 02:12 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by mimey2 View Post
Bortas comm officer: Captain, Starfleet Miranda-class Frigate is on sensors. We have blocked long-range communications.

Bortas captain: Good, prepare to fire.

Bortas tactical officer: Sir, the enemy ship is firing it's phasers, they are not even denting our shields! They have launched a photon torpedo. It's hitting our shields, now.

Bortas medical officer: Captain, we're receiving casualty reports from all over the ship! At least 300 dead bekks, and many more injured!

Bortas captain: What new Starfleet trick is this?! Prepare the Disruptor Autocannon, all weapons, FIRE!

*Bortas unloads it's entire payload of weaponry onto the Miranda, which is destroyed in moments*

Bortas tactical officer: Ship destroyed, Captain.

Bortas captain: Good.
You forgot the best part of that!

Bortas medical officer: (after combat is over) Just kidding captain, the dead are slowly coming back to life, one by one. We'll have a full crew compliment again in about 10 more seconds.

Most of my characters suck | I suck at Twitter, too!
Captain
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 767
# 27
08-18-2012, 09:43 AM
You know, I never thought of the crew as actually deceased from the torpedo hits, just K.O'd or otherwise too disabled to perform any duties, while the yellow "injured" crew can still perform reduced duties.
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 849
# 28
08-18-2012, 11:14 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilchibiclari View Post
You know, I never thought of the crew as actually deceased from the torpedo hits, just K.O'd or otherwise too disabled to perform any duties, while the yellow "injured" crew can still perform reduced duties.
Maybe they are... I can imagine a torpedo hitting and spawning Scorpion, and he just rips off his mask and spits fire on your Redshirts, and then the others just hear "FATALITY!"
CHARACTER GRID (@Lord-Ice):
___ |___ _ Fed ____| ____ _KDF __ ____| Rom
Tac_|_Thomas Hale_| __ __Illusion _____| Silence (K)
Eng | ___Antilles _ _| _ Mirror Rygobeth__| N'Vek (F)
Sci _| __ Rygobeth _| _Lukor Son of Q'Tar | Devala (F)
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 271
# 29
08-18-2012, 04:21 PM
Maco Armitage vessel:

Helm: "Captain, we're approaching engagement range."

Captain: "Full power to the shiny! Launch the fighters!"

Ops: "The fighters are being destroyed too quickly!"

Captain: "FIRE EVERYTHING!! Load the redshirts into the airlock if you have to! Hard to port!"

Helm: "I can't! The fat *alarm blares* turns too slow!"

Captain: "Oh sh-"

No more armitage xD
Ikuzo, Trombe!
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 560
# 30
08-18-2012, 05:07 PM
So... how many captains of Sovereign class cruisers have found that their crews have been becoming more... mindless and more zombie-like? And that you're slowly thinking the way your ship wants you to?

*heh... poor attempt at a Mass Effect joke*
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