Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 297
# 1 Terrors of the Past - KDF 41+
09-11-2012, 09:33 AM


Mission Title: Terrors of the Past
Your @Handle: kahn
Faction: KDF
Level Requirement: 41+
Mission Summary: The spoils of war are sometimes not as glorious as the Empire would lead you to believe. Delve deep into the mystery of a 1000 year old vessel drifting along near the KDF front with the Federation and learn the true meaning of Terror!

This mission was submitted as part of the Foundry Challenge #4. I appreciate any feedback you have with the mission! Good luck to all my fellow Foundry authors who submitted missions for the challenge.
Rihannsu
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 12,708
# 2
09-11-2012, 02:07 PM
I liked it! Although I destroyed those pitiful Devidians like they were baby targs....

Fun mission though! I really liked your story idea.

It was really interesting seeing another person use the same base map for their derelict ship and having the map used in a completely different way.
HAIL HYDRA!

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
I can haz joystick!
MMOs aren't charities. Corporations are supposed to make a profit. It's what they do.
Career Officer
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 509
# 3
09-11-2012, 02:08 PM
I'll go give it a shot here in a few minutes. Will post feedback after
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lunasto View Post
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Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 297
# 4
09-11-2012, 02:40 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by markhawkman View Post
I liked it! Although I destroyed those pitiful Devidians like they were baby targs....

Fun mission though! I really liked your story idea.

It was really interesting seeing another person use the same base map for their derelict ship and having the map used in a completely different way.
Hehe Thanks. I didn't want it to take too long. I basically made it for a science captain, so if you play anything like an engineer or tac it can go pretty fast. It was how I tried to keep in in that 30 min window.

I spent a lot of time adding details and what not to the maps I used. I had a lot of fun putting up false walls and solving issues with BO's getting stuck in the hallways. (Thank you invisi walls!) Plus I got to use my good old vengeful trill captain again so it was a good time designing it and writing the story.
Career Officer
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 509
# 5
09-11-2012, 02:52 PM
I liked it. It was a good concept and well put together. My only real complaint was that it was way too easy; my KDF captain is a VA sci and I blew through it. The space portions never even dropped my shields, and the ground combat wasn't hard, just time-consuming in that I didn't seem to be doing much damage to the Devidians, even though they weren't really damaging me. Some spelling and grammatical errors in the dialogue; I can overlook that, despite being a bit of a grammar nazi.

Like I said, it was a great concept, I'd like to see it fleshed out later and made a bit more challenging. Keep it up though!

I give it 4/5.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lunasto View Post
Banned because I don't like your pictures eyebrows! They look like pinball flippers!
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 297
# 6
09-11-2012, 02:55 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by medtac124 View Post
I liked it. It was a good concept and well put together. My only real complaint was that it was way too easy; my KDF captain is a VA sci and I blew through it. The space portions never even dropped my shields, and the ground combat wasn't hard, just time-consuming in that I didn't seem to be doing much damage to the Devidians, even though they weren't really damaging me. Some spelling and grammatical errors in the dialogue; I can overlook that, despite being a bit of a grammar nazi.

Like I said, it was a great concept, I'd like to see it fleshed out later and made a bit more challenging. Keep it up though!

I give it 4/5.
Thanks for the feedback! I'll see about beefing up the combat some after the contest. It's always hard to gauge how fast it goes with the Foundry characters because they are buffed up to VA and not really geared out well.
Rihannsu
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 12,708
# 7
09-11-2012, 03:21 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by drudgy View Post
Hehe Thanks. I didn't want it to take too long. I basically made it for a science captain, so if you play anything like an engineer or tac it can go pretty fast. It was how I tried to keep in in that 30 min window.

I spent a lot of time adding details and what not to the maps I used. I had a lot of fun putting up false walls and solving issues with BO's getting stuck in the hallways. (Thank you invisi walls!) Plus I got to use my good old vengeful trill captain again so it was a good time designing it and writing the story.
I was wondering about who that NPC was...

anyways, I'd forgotten the invisiwalls, and didn't like them. My Boffs kept trying to jump through them....

I loved the detail work you did, it came out really nice.
HAIL HYDRA!

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
I can haz joystick!
MMOs aren't charities. Corporations are supposed to make a profit. It's what they do.
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 297
# 8
09-16-2012, 05:11 PM
Well since all the Klingon's were cutting though the NPC's like butter I've upped the difficulty a bit on all the mobs. Also some of you caught some historical inaccuracy that I've also corrected. Everything plays a little smoother now.
Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 770
Quote:
Originally Posted by drudgy View Post
Greetings again old friend! I've got another mission for you to review when you get a chance. I'd appreciate any suggestions you may have to improve the dialog.

Mission Title: Terrors of the Past
Your @Handle: kahn
Faction: KDF
Level Requirement: 41+
Mission Summary: The spoils of war are sometimes not as glorious as the Empire would lead you to believe. Delve deep into the mystery of a 1000 year old vessel drifting along near the KDF front with the Federation and learn the true meaning of Terror!

This mission was submitted as part of the Foundry Challenge #4. I appreciate any feedback you have with the mission! Good luck to all my fellow Foundry authors who submitted missions for the challenge.
Klingon Mission - Terrors of the Past
Author: kahn
Allegiance: Klingon
Project ID: ST-HJJZQQPOI

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: Without knowing what the particulars of the challenge this mission was created for I would have to say it is an excellent mission. The map designs are good, the battles glorious, and the story dialogue is great. I would highly recommend this mission to other players who love the combination of good maps, glorious battles and a great story.

Below are a couple of items I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

Mission Description: This is a good description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.

Grant Mission Dialogue: This is a good grant dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

Mission Task: The initial task is okay as you provide the system where the first custom map starts but consider adding the sector block as well. I noted no spelling errors with this task.

Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

MAPS:
Alhena III: This is a good map design with glorious battles and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Derelect Vessel: This is a good map design with a glorious battle and well written story dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider changing the map name "Derelect Vessel" to read "Derelict Vessel".

Unknown System: This is a good map design with a glorious battle and well written story dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider changing "I'm sorry [Rank], but i've got to go take care of this" to read "I'm sorry [Rank], but I've got to go take care of this".

Cargo Bay: This is a good map design with several glorious battles and well written story dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider changing "Not good [Rank] If my calculations are correct we have a 20% chance of taking the device back for further study" to read "Not good [Rank]. If my calculations are correct we have a 20% chance of taking the device back for further study".
-Consider changing the response button "It's not much, but lets try it" to read "It's not much, but let's try it".

Alhena III (2409): This is a good map design with some tough but glorious battles and well written dialogue. This map is a good wrap up to the mission. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider changing "Lets destroy these Federation Targ for invading our space, the old fashion way" to read "Let's destroy these Federation Targ for invading our space, the old fashion way".
-Consider adding a respawn point closer to the battle.

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a great job with the development of this mission. I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian

This critique report also filed 09/17/2012 on forum posting for: In depth mission reports upon request.
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details.
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 297
# 10
09-17-2012, 07:11 PM
Thanks again Evil70th!

Your feedback is really valuable and I've taken all your suggestions and updated the mission.

Glad you enjoyed it and hope to continue creating more content.
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