Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 297
# 321
09-16-2012, 05:14 PM
Greetings again old friend! I've got another mission for you to review when you get a chance. I'd appreciate any suggestions you may have to improve the dialog.

Mission Title: Terrors of the Past
Your @Handle: kahn
Faction: KDF
Level Requirement: 41+
Mission Summary: The spoils of war are sometimes not as glorious as the Empire would lead you to believe. Delve deep into the mystery of a 1000 year old vessel drifting along near the KDF front with the Federation and learn the true meaning of Terror!

This mission was submitted as part of the Foundry Challenge #4. I appreciate any feedback you have with the mission! Good luck to all my fellow Foundry authors who submitted missions for the challenge.
Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 770
# 322
09-16-2012, 10:03 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by k668 View Post
Thanks for the review! It occured to be me that the first battle might also end up a lot less difficult if I just move the hostile spawn point further away, making it easier to lure the interceptors away from the corvette. Might need some trial & error though.

I'll also give a respawn point further consideration. Moving the initial spawn point closer to the battlesite might also be worth a try, but I'll see.

Thanks again, and have fun with your reviews!
Glad I could help.

Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details.
Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 770
# 323
09-16-2012, 10:05 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by dalolorn View Post
Well, it seems my second mission is going to be delayed quite a bit, assuming Cryptic doesn't significantly improve the speed in which they can fix Foundry bugs... I'm being trapped by the lack of multiple dialogue options to spawn objects through.
Keep working on it. I am sure eventually you will be able to tell your story the way you want.

Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details.
Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 770
# 324
09-16-2012, 10:08 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by drudgy View Post
Greetings again old friend! I've got another mission for you to review when you get a chance. I'd appreciate any suggestions you may have to improve the dialog.

Mission Title: Terrors of the Past
Your @Handle: kahn
Faction: KDF
Level Requirement: 41+
Mission Summary: The spoils of war are sometimes not as glorious as the Empire would lead you to believe. Delve deep into the mystery of a 1000 year old vessel drifting along near the KDF front with the Federation and learn the true meaning of Terror!

This mission was submitted as part of the Foundry Challenge #4. I appreciate any feedback you have with the mission! Good luck to all my fellow Foundry authors who submitted missions for the challenge.
He kahn,

Thanks for the review request. You are next up in the queue. I hope to get to your review tomorrow night.

Thanks for authoring,
Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details.
Captain
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,894
# 325
09-17-2012, 10:47 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by evil70th View Post
Keep working on it. I am sure eventually you will be able to tell your story the way you want.

Brian
Hardly. I don't exactly have the time or willpower to use the only possible workaround, which means I have to rely on Cryptic's QA. I wonder what are they up to, it's been weeks.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Oh, lovely, I can't even requote the Douglas Adams quote I used to have here I WANT IT BACK!!!!
Dalo Lorn
DaloLorn, StarCraft 2 Roleplayer and proud of it.
Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 770
# 326
09-17-2012, 05:49 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by dalolorn View Post
Hardly. I don't exactly have the time or willpower to use the only possible workaround, which means I have to rely on Cryptic's QA. I wonder what are they up to, it's been weeks.
Well it is up to how you want to handle the down time. I can only make suggestions. You have to decide what you want to do. Good luck.

Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details.
Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 770
Quote:
Originally Posted by drudgy View Post
Greetings again old friend! I've got another mission for you to review when you get a chance. I'd appreciate any suggestions you may have to improve the dialog.

Mission Title: Terrors of the Past
Your @Handle: kahn
Faction: KDF
Level Requirement: 41+
Mission Summary: The spoils of war are sometimes not as glorious as the Empire would lead you to believe. Delve deep into the mystery of a 1000 year old vessel drifting along near the KDF front with the Federation and learn the true meaning of Terror!

This mission was submitted as part of the Foundry Challenge #4. I appreciate any feedback you have with the mission! Good luck to all my fellow Foundry authors who submitted missions for the challenge.
Klingon Mission - Terrors of the Past
Author: kahn
Allegiance: Klingon
Project ID: ST-HJJZQQPOI

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: Without knowing what the particulars of the challenge this mission was created for I would have to say it is an excellent mission. The map designs are good, the battles glorious, and the story dialogue is great. I would highly recommend this mission to other players who love the combination of good maps, glorious battles and a great story.

Below are a couple of items I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

Mission Description: This is a good description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.

Grant Mission Dialogue: This is a good grant dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

Mission Task: The initial task is okay as you provide the system where the first custom map starts but consider adding the sector block as well. I noted no spelling errors with this task.

Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

MAPS:
Alhena III: This is a good map design with glorious battles and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Derelect Vessel: This is a good map design with a glorious battle and well written story dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider changing the map name "Derelect Vessel" to read "Derelict Vessel".

Unknown System: This is a good map design with a glorious battle and well written story dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider changing "I'm sorry [Rank], but i've got to go take care of this" to read "I'm sorry [Rank], but I've got to go take care of this".

Cargo Bay: This is a good map design with several glorious battles and well written story dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider changing "Not good [Rank] If my calculations are correct we have a 20% chance of taking the device back for further study" to read "Not good [Rank]. If my calculations are correct we have a 20% chance of taking the device back for further study".
-Consider changing the response button "It's not much, but lets try it" to read "It's not much, but let's try it".

Alhena III (2409): This is a good map design with some tough but glorious battles and well written dialogue. This map is a good wrap up to the mission. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider changing "Lets destroy these Federation Targ for invading our space, the old fashion way" to read "Let's destroy these Federation Targ for invading our space, the old fashion way".
-Consider adding a respawn point closer to the battle.

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a great job with the development of this mission. I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian

This critique report also filed 09/17/2012 on forum posting for: Terrors of the Past - KDF 41+
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details.
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 297
# 328
09-17-2012, 07:17 PM
Thank you again Evil70th! I really appreciate you taking the time to review the mission and offer your valuable feedback. Always nice to have a second set of eyes on the dialog.

Thanks again!
Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 770
# 329
09-19-2012, 07:32 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by drudgy View Post
Thank you again Evil70th! I really appreciate you taking the time to review the mission and offer your valuable feedback. Always nice to have a second set of eyes on the dialog.

Thanks again!
As always, I am glad I could help. It is a great mission and I had a lot of fun playing it.

Thanks for authoring,
Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details.
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 916
# 330
09-19-2012, 10:28 PM
Mission Name: Ghosts of War, Part III ("Chasing Ghosts") - Remaster
Author: NCC-89471
Minimum Level: 35+
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HLAJXIZUN
Estimated Mission Length: 30-45 Minutes
Method of Report Delivery: Post to this forum thread
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