Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 191
Hello all,

I'm happy to announce that I have a new mission that is out now on Holodeck!

This is a mission that heavily touchstones on the TNG episode "Starship Mine" and is a bit more combat focused than most of my other missions. I'd appreciate any feedback you have!

Trailer link! Heavy props to Capt.PFDennis for his work on it.
http://youtu.be/aZgzFL8q3Hw

"Clean Sweep"
Fed, Any Level
ST-HMHPVPQP5
Est. Length: 45 mins?
Start Location: Servin system in Regulus Sector

Teaser:
Behrens Station, one of the largest starship maintenance facilities servicing Starfleet vessels heading to and from the Klingon front, requires your aid providing cover for a task force that will soon be receiving passes by the station's Baryon sweep arrays.

Report to the station and ensure that all ships complete their Baryon particle purging without any interference from the Klingons or other hostile forces.

Last edited by rogueeenterprise; 10-23-2012 at 03:54 PM.
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 754
Quote:
Originally Posted by rogueeenterprise View Post
Hey Evil, got a new one for ya to check out:

"Clean Sweep"
Fed, Any Level
ST-HMHPVPQP5
Est. Length: 45 mins?
Start Location: Servin system in Regulus Sector

Teaser:
Behrens Station, one of the largest starship maintenance facilities servicing Starfleet vessels heading to and from the Klingon front, requires your aid providing cover for a task force that will soon be receiving passes by the station's Baryon sweep arrays.

Report to the station and ensure that all ships complete their Baryon particle purging without any interference from the Klingons or other hostile forces.

On top of your usual thoroughness, I'm interested in the feel for the difficulty for both ground and space battles, potential plot holes and how much suck your boffs had trying to get through doors. =)

Thanks!
Federation Mission - Clean Sweep
Author: rogueeenterprise
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HMHPVPQP5

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: This is a great mission with good map designs, tough battles and excellent story dialogue. Some of the maps have a few issues here and there but nothing too distracting. The story is pretty solid and I liked having to make some tough choices on some of the maps. A Captain's reasons are their own. The battles were tough, but fun throughout. The final map battles after the warp sequence were really tough and for that reason I would not recommend this mission on Elite level. Normal level is tough enough throughout. Having said all that I would highly recommend this mission to all players. You will enjoy the rollercoaster ride throughout the mission.

Below are some things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

Mission Description: This is a good description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.

Grant Mission Dialogue: The grant and follow on dialogue are well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

Mission Task: This is a good task with a clear start location for the first custom map. I noted no spelling errors with this task.

Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.

MAPS:
Behrens Station: This is a good map design with a fun battle and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Behrens Station - Command Center: This is a good map design with excellent story dialogue. I like the transporter effect you created to get around the Foundry shortfall. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The chat text from some of the characters repeats so rapidly it becomes annoying and distracting. Consider reducing it or removing it.
-Consider changing the optional dialogue to triggered optional dialogue that goes away after the player interacts or is removed when the player reaches or completes a certain objective.
-The PADD is sitting slightly above the bench and looks a little odd. Consider tweaking the height to be closer to the bench.
-This is not an issue but more of a side note to make it a little easier. In my 24 years of U.S. Naval service rank abbreviations come in handy when writing information. For example Lt. Cdr. Pauline Dennis could be written LCDR Pauline Dennis. If it were a commander it could be written CDR and so on.

U.S.S. Rigor Deck 22: This is a good map design with a fun battle and excellent story dialogue. I liked having to make a tough choice on how to deal with sickbay and the science lab. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-I could hear birds in the background. I suspect that is from the base map you chose. I am not sure you can get rid of it by selecting another background setting, but I thought it was worth noting.
-The BOFFs had issues with most of the doors but eventually made it through them.
-Science Officer dialogue; consider changing "What if we jerryrigged some power cells" to read "What if we jerry-rigged sine power cells".
-The EPS console in the hall is sunk into the deck. Consider tweaking it a little to raise it a little more so it looks like it is on the deck vice in it.

U.S.S. Rigor Engineering Deck: This is a great map design with a fun battle and well written story dialogue. I like the transporter effect you created to get around the Foundry shortfall. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider making the Jeffries tube material a lighter color. That would match the bulkhead material a little better.
-The door you are using to block the doorway on the far side of the cargo transporter room looks odd. I know you are trying to prevent the player from flanking the enemy forces but consider centering the door a little more or use another method to block the way.

Retaking the Command Center: This is a good map design with several tough but fun battles. The story dialogue is well written. Again I liked having to make a choice on strategy. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Behrens Station - Final Confrontation: This is a great map design with several tough battles. I would not want to try this map on Elite as it was hard enough on Normal. The story dialogue is excellent. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a great job developing this mission. I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian

This critique report also filed 10/21/2012 on forum posting for: In depth mission reports upon request.
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details.
Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 191
# 3
10-23-2012, 03:54 PM
Updated: now with trailer!

http://youtu.be/aZgzFL8q3Hw
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 754
# 4
10-23-2012, 07:20 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by rogueeenterprise View Post
Updated: now with trailer!

http://youtu.be/aZgzFL8q3Hw
I enjoyed the mission and that is a great trailer...

Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details.
Rihannsu
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 3,710
# 5
10-30-2012, 02:25 AM
It was a great mission. the maps were very well put together as always. just the right amount of combat, and light puzzles. you might want to change the contacts chat to legacy contacts over just contacts.

at the moment the speech bubbles appear twice, and the top one flickers and its a little annoying. hopefully cryptic will fix that, but by switching to legacy contacts you can adjust the details as before

House of Cards - Lvl 46 Fed mission
Captain
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 520
# 6
11-01-2012, 09:29 AM
Outstanding mission with top-shelf map work. I highly recommend this.
Ensign
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 2
# 7
11-24-2012, 01:25 PM
so, i don't know if i'm missing something or not, but after clearing the hall in deck 22 Lt. Ocala doesn't show up when the objective tells me that i need to meet up with her
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,497
# 8
11-24-2012, 03:58 PM
There's a bug right now with Foundry missions where npcs are disappearing. We need to wait until Cryptic fixes this

Check out my Foundry missions:
Standalone - The Great Escape - The Galaxy's Fair - Purity I: Of Denial - Return to Oblivion
The Defenders - Duritanium Man - The Improbable Bulk - [WIP] Commander Rihan
Ensign
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 2
# 9
11-25-2012, 08:32 AM
ah, thanks for the info!
Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 191
# 10
11-25-2012, 02:43 PM
Yeah, sorry about that, unfortunately this is one of the Season 7 bugs newly introduced. When I tested it I got stuck at the same place. =\

Can't play with it until after the editor is re-enabled.
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