Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 884
Quote:
Originally Posted by captainrevo1 View Post
Hi

I have a new mission if you would care to play it;

Mission Name: The Emissary of the Pah-wraiths
Author: Captain_Revo
Minimum Level: 31+
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HOOWTK7A8
Estimated Mission Length: 45 minutes
Method of Report Delivery: Forum Post

This is the continuation of the story from;

part 1 - The Worst of all Worlds
part 2 - Nine of Space Deep
part 3 - The Temple of the Pah-wraiths
Federation Mission - The Emissary of the Pah-wraiths
Author: Captain_Revo
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HOOWTK7A8

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: This is a riveting mission from start to finish and a worthy sequel in the series. The map designs are great, the battles tough, but fun, and the story dialogue is excellent. I would highly recommend this mission and the entire series to all players.

Below are a few things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

Mission Description: This is a good description. Consider moving the actual mission description up to be above the mission part listing. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.

Grant Mission Dialogue: This is a great grant dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

Mission Task: This is a good initial task with a clear start location for the first custom map. I noted no spelling errors with this task.

Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider changing "Tiza System" to read "Tazi System".
-Consider changing "in orbit of Tiza II" to read "in orbit of Tazi II".

MAPS:
Tazi System: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Research Station Gamma: This is a great map design with a good battle and excellent story dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider changing "It's jack" to read "Its Jack".

Tazi II: This is a good map design with a fun battle and excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Dace System: This is a good map design with balanced battles and excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

The Kinjer System: This is a good map design with a balanced battle and excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The spawn point seems slightly off the initial location. I had to swing the ship around to trigger the initial dialogue and battle.

Transwarp Test Base Two: This is a great map design with challenging, but fun battles, and excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.
-Consider making the dying and injured optional dialogue triggered so it disappears after the player interacts with it.
-The console for "Investigate Jack's Actions" appears to be too low in the deck. Consider moving it back and up slightly to place it on the deck.

Ready Room: This is a good map design with excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Sol System: This is a good map design with excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Earth Space Dock: This is a great map design with tough, but fun battles and excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider making optional dialogue triggered so it disappears after the player interacts with it.

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a great job developing this mission and the entire series to date. I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian

This critique report also filed 10/28/2012 on forum posting for: Emissary of the Pah-wraiths is Live
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details. Also see Evil 70th's list of missions at "Evil 70th's Missions".
Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 884
# 382
10-28-2012, 08:52 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by sfhq View Post
Hello evil70th,

I have completed 2 missions of a multi-part series, and would very much appreciate feedback when you have some time.

Mission Name: A Cubical Mystery(Prologue)
Author: F9thSFHQ
Minimum Level: 46+ (hardcoded in game, I say, Min Level: 50)
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HDUI5CK7B
Estimated Mission Length: 45 minutes to 1hour20mins depending on career/difficulty setting
Method of Report Delivery: Forum Post

My First foundry mission I have made however I have refined it over the last 3-4weeks so it is fairly mature in its making.
It is designed to have fairly challenging combat, but nothing that isn't solo-able even on Adv./Elite
.---------

Mission Name: Mechanical Infestations(Pt. I)
Author: F9thSFHQ
Minimum Level: 50
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HSOFQFFC4
Estimated Mission Length: 45 minutes to 1hour15mins depending on career/difficulty
Method of Report Delivery: Forum Post

Both are relatively combat heavy missions with medium amt. of dialogue

Thanks,
SFHQ
Hi SFHQ,

Thanks for the review request. Your missions are 2nd and 3rd in the queue behind Skyline45. I will get to both your missions as soon as I can.

Thanks for authoring,
Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details. Also see Evil 70th's list of missions at "Evil 70th's Missions".

Last edited by evil70th; 10-28-2012 at 11:27 PM.
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,512
# 383
10-28-2012, 10:31 PM
Hi evil70th!

Really appreciated the help you gave me on my first mission, I'm a big boy now and here's my next two. Hoping for your feedback.

Mission Name: Duritanium Man
Author: @Zorbane
Minimum Level: 41+
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HSMJTB692
Estimated Mission Length: 45minutes - 1 hour
Method of Report Delivery: Forum Post

Mission Name: The Galaxy's Fair
Author: @Zorbane
Minimum Level: Any level
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HIL8TIJ29
Estimated Mission Length: 20-30minutes
Method of Report Delivery: Forum Post

If you were to play them in order Duritanium Man comes first,

Thanks!

Last edited by zorbane; 10-28-2012 at 10:43 PM.
Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 884
# 384
10-28-2012, 11:31 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by zorbane View Post
Hi evil70th!

Really appreciated the help you gave me on my first mission, I'm a big boy now and here's my next two. Hoping for your feedback.

Mission Name: Duritanium Man
Author: @Zorbane
Minimum Level: 41+
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HSMJTB692
Estimated Mission Length: 45minutes - 1 hour
Method of Report Delivery: Forum Post

Mission Name: The Galaxy's Fair
Author: @Zorbane
Minimum Level: Any level
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HIL8TIJ29
Estimated Mission Length: 20-30minutes
Method of Report Delivery: Forum Post

If you were to play them in order Duritanium Man comes first,

Thanks!
Hi Zorbane,

Thanks for the review request. Your missions are 4 and 5 behind SFHQ. I will be getting to the mission queue as soon as I can. I'll make sure I play them in order.

Thanks for authoring,
Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details. Also see Evil 70th's list of missions at "Evil 70th's Missions".

Last edited by evil70th; 10-28-2012 at 11:34 PM.
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,512
# 385
10-28-2012, 11:55 PM
Thanks, I know it can be tiring critiquing foundry missions. It's almost like work!
Rihannsu
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 3,963
# 386
10-29-2012, 06:19 AM
Thanks for the review. i appreciate it. ill let you know when the final part is up.

House of Cards - Lvl 46 Fed mission
Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 884
# 387
10-29-2012, 11:22 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by zorbane View Post
Thanks, I know it can be tiring critiquing foundry missions. It's almost like work!
Almost like work, but most of the time it is a lot of fun.
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details. Also see Evil 70th's list of missions at "Evil 70th's Missions".
Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 884
# 388
10-29-2012, 11:24 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by captainrevo1 View Post
Thanks for the review. i appreciate it. ill let you know when the final part is up.
Glad I could help and I really am looking forward to the next installment, so get to work...

Seriously I enjoyed the episode and the series.
Thanks for authoring,
Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details. Also see Evil 70th's list of missions at "Evil 70th's Missions".
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,512
# 389
11-02-2012, 03:44 PM
Hey evil70th,

I've temporarily pulled my two missions until Season 7. I'll post again when I re-publish.

Check out my Foundry missions:
Standalone - The Great Escape - The Galaxy's Fair - Purity I: Of Denial - Return to Oblivion
The Defenders - Duritanium Man - The Improbable Bulk - [WIP] Commander Rihan
Rihannsu
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 3,963
# 390
11-03-2012, 09:40 AM
Mission Name: This Far No Further
Author: @Captain_Revo
Minimum Level: 41+
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HEWKB36M7
Estimated Mission Length: 45 Mins
Method of Report Delivery: Forum Post

Hi again,

this is the final part in my 5 part story. You played Emissary of the Pah-wraiths last week, and I hope you enjoy my conclusion. It is already out of the review stage now.

Thanks.

House of Cards - Lvl 46 Fed mission
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