Federation Mission - The Wave Empire Ep.3
Author: Skyline45
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HAVYZLC4O

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Summary: This is a great mission with challenging battles and very well written story dialogue. It is a worthy sequel in the series. I would highly recommend this mission to all players although not on Elite level, which the author also does not recommend.

Below are a couple of things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

Mission Description: This is a good description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.

Grant Mission Dialogue: This is a good grant dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

Mission Task: This is a good initial task with a map location of the first custom map. I noted no spelling errors with this task. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The location to start the first custom map is a little difficult to find. I went to the standard location on ESD and found it. Consider adding a short line, something like "Take turbo lift to embassy".

Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.

MAPS:
Waveloid Embassy: This is a good map design with excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider adjusting some of the NPCs in the control room that are standing too far from the console.

Reliokah: This is a good map design with challenging but fun battles. The story dialogue is well written. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider changing "[Rank], I'm picking up temporal satellites surronding Reliokah" to read "[Rank], I'm picking up temporal satellites surrounding Reliokah".

Reliokah Surface (Pre-Ice Age): This is a good map design with challenging but fun battles. The story dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Temporal Research Facility: This is a good map design with very challenging battles. The story dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Unknown Location: This is a good map design with very challenging battles and very well written story dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider changing "Why wont you just die" to read "Why won't you just die".
-Consider shrinking the size of the "Check Uioda's body" task trigger area. When it started I was standing inside the trigger area and had to leave and reenter the area to trigger it.

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Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a great job developing this mission and the series. I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian

This critique report also filed 11/03/2012 on forum posting for: The Wave Empire Series

No problem. I've withdrawn the missions from the queue. Please resubmit whenever you are ready.

Thanks for authoring and giving me the heads up,
Brian

Hi Capt_Revo,

Thanks for the review request. Your mission is 3rd in the queue behind SFHQ. I will post here in the forums once I complete the review.

Thanks for authoring,
Brian

Thanks a lot for the info I just assumed that if you fall into a fiery pit...you die. Also, the suggestion to build a way out of the pit gave me an idea for the boss battle. Thanks so much.

As always, glad I could help. Thanks for authoring,
Brian

Federation Mission - A Cubical Mystery(Prologue)
Author: F9thSFHQ
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HDUI5CK7B

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Summary: This is a good mission with great map designs, several very tough battles, and excellent story dialogue. I would recommend this mission but not on Elite. The battles are tough enough on Normal. You did use the response button "Continue" a lot but it was not overly distracting. As for the last enemy mob on the last map after the "End Dialogue" you need to consider removing them and ending the mission there.

Below are a couple things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

Mission Description: This is a good and detailed description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.

Grant Mission Dialogue: This is not a bad grant dialogue, but is essentially the same as the description itself. Consider changing it up a little to add more story based information. Your goal with grant dialogue should be to draw the player in and make them want to click "Accept". I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

Mission Task: This is a good start but you should consider including the sector block of the start location for the first custom map.

Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.

MAPS:
Mutara Nebula: This is a good map design with several tough battles. The story dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Diamond 349: This is a good map design with several very tough battles. The story dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider reducing the number of battles and balance the enemy mobs a little more.

Diamond 349 Gauntlet: This is a good map design and use of the open area outside the normal map; however you should combine this map and the next map into one single map. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Diamond 349 Navigation: This is a simple map design with a single objective. As I indicated on the previous map you should combine this map and the previous map into one single map. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Mutara Nebula: This is a good map design with some fun battles with the Borg. The story dialogue is well written right up to the "End Mission" dialogue. Despite the presence of Q, the addition of 8 Undine enemy mobs after that dialogue does not seem to fit in with the story. Consider removing that and ending the mission at the "End Mission" dialogue.

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Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did well with the development of this mission. I look forward to the next mission in the series.
Brian

This critique report also filed 11/03/2012 on forum posting for: "A Cubical Mystery"

Federation Mission - Thermal Breakdown
Author: ScaryGuy
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HATZ6VKK7

I put in a ramp "system" so that you can get out of the pit, since I apparently can't make people die when I want them to. Also, I changed the dialog for when you get to the platforms, I was getting the hint that it might have been confusing on what you really needed to do when you FIRST get to them, especially since I do not put a way point on the map.

You do not have to make this a priority...but if you really have nothing to do I wouldn't mind having some more feedback with the revisions

Thanks for the feedback evil70th.. just so you know, the premade cryptic walls prevented me from making it 1 map which was my original intent, but I also wasn't proficient in making a ground custom from scratch. I've learned a great deal about doing custom ground stuff in Pt. II of my series, so I'll change that around once I go back and refine my previous missions for season 7 foundry enhancements. And thanks for the Undine enemy ending feedback. I was debating if I should make it Borg or Undine, I think ill switch it to Borg and make it optional warp in after mission completes for those wanting a little more Borg fun with season 7 refinements as well, and those who don't can simply leave without penalty.

Thanks again, hope you enjoy the next part

Thank you for your review evil ^.^ As always your opinion is valued and will be implemented into my last episode. Maybe I shouldn't say last, because lately I've been getting ideas for an Ep.4 but havent fully committed to if I'm actually going to write it or not. You know IRL stuff and all. Well thank you again, and happy reviewing xD

Hi Scary,

Thanks for the re-submission of this mission. You are 2nd in the queue behind Captain_Revo and I will try to get to it as soon as possible.

Thanks for authoring,
Brian