Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 752
Quote:
Originally Posted by scaryguycalculon View Post
Federation Mission - Thermal Breakdown
Author: ScaryGuy
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HATZ6VKK7

I put in a ramp "system" so that you can get out of the pit, since I apparently can't make people die when I want them to. Also, I changed the dialog for when you get to the platforms, I was getting the hint that it might have been confusing on what you really needed to do when you FIRST get to them, especially since I do not put a way point on the map.

You do not have to make this a priority...but if you really have nothing to do I wouldn't mind having some more feedback with the revisions
You did a good job of fixing the pit issues on the first map but the problem still exist on the second map. Players will not play a mission they have to abort and restart because they fall into a pit and cannot get up. They will become frustrated and drop your mission. For that I reason I still cannot recommend this mission to other players.

I suggest you make the consoles more accessible all the way around the platform. You can place low level enemy mobs around the consoles to make them harder to get to.

Thanks for authoring,
Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details.
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 752
Quote:
Originally Posted by captainhunter1 View Post
Hi evil70th,

I was hoping you could review 'Treasure of Argelius II, pt. 2', the conclusion to part one of the story you reviewed here: http://sto-forum.perfectworld.com/sh...light=argelius

Mission info
Mission Name: Treasure of Argelius II, pt. 2
Author: captainhunter1
Minimum Level: 16+
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-St-HU335TJ20
Estimated Mission Length: 2 hours
Method of Report Delivery: Forum Post

It's currently listed under the 'review' tab. Thanks!
Federation Mission - Treasure of Argelius II, pt. 2
Author: captainhunter1
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HU335TJ20

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: This is a great mission and sequel to the previous mission. The map design is excellent; the battles were tough but balanced and fun. The story dialogue is good throughout. I would highly recommend this mission and the series to all players.

For the Mission Description and Grant Dialogue consider changing both to be more story oriented. Your goal with these elements is to draw the player in and make them want to "Hail" and "Accept". The other thing to consider is adding a "Skip Dialogue" button that provides the player with a summary of what they need to continue the mission.

Mission Description: This is a short description with very little story. Consider adding more story to draw the player in and make them want to click the "Hail" button. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.

Grant Mission Dialogue: Consider adding story here to draw the player in and make them want to click "Accept". I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

Mission Task: This is a good initial task with a clear start location for the first custom map. I noted no spelling errors with this task.

Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.

MAPS:
Argelius II capitol: This is a great map design with good story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Starfleet Liaison Station: This is a great map design with good story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Argelius II capitol investigation: This is a great map design with good story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Argelius II capitol chase: This is a great map design with a good short battle and good story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Casino: This is a great map design with a tough but fun battle and good story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Argelius II capitol night: This is a great map design a tough but fun battle and good story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Abandoned Nightclub: This is a great map design a tough but fun battle and good story dialogue. I hate spiders. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Argelius II space: This is a great map design a tough but fun battle and good story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a great job developing this mission and the series. I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your missions in the future.
Brian

This critique report also filed 11/12/2012 on forum posting for: Perilous Prize - An outrageous Ferengi scheme!
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details.
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 752
Quote:
Originally Posted by ajstoner View Post
Hey, Brian! Got another one for you. This is the sequel to "Finding Resolution" which you helped me out with a while back. Home you enjoy!

Mission Name: Avenging Resolution
Author: AJStoner
Minimum Level: 46+
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HD7Y5LARO
Estimated Mission Length: 90 minutes
Method of Report Delivery: Forum post

Many thanks,

AJS
Federation Mission - Avenging Resolution
Author: AJStoner
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HD7Y5LARO

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: This is a good mission with great map designs, several tough battles and excellent story dialogue. I would highly recommend this mission to all players but not on Elite. The battles are tough enough on Normal level.

Below are some things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

Mission Description: This is a good description. Consider moving the actual mission description to the top. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.

Grant Mission Dialogue: This is a good description but needs a little more story. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

Mission Task: Consider adding the start location of the first custom map. I noted no spelling errors with this task.

Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

MAPS:
Amber Colossus: This is a good map design with some tough battles and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider changing the initial dialogue from the player to [OOC] dialogue vice [MissionInfo].
-Consider spreading the enemy mobs further apart so the player can more easily engage them separately.

Covetous Qritt's Stardust Lounge: This is a good map design with several tough battles and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider using triggered optional dialogue that can be removed when the player achieves a certain objective.

Journey to Ker'rat VII: This is a good map design with several tough battles and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider reorienting the map to face east to west and use the effect WeatherStarStreaks East-West 01. That effect looks better than the North-South effects.

Overrun Klingon Base A: This is a good map design with several tough battles and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Overrun Klingon Base B: This is a good map design with several tough battles and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Overrun Klingon Base C: This is a good map design with several tough battles and well written story dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-One of the NPCs in the tanks is sitting slightly outside the tank.
-Consider changing "Toe bodies aren't changing" to read "Two bodies aren't changing".

Section 31 Base A: This is a great map design with several tough battles and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Section 31 Base B: This is a great map design with several tough battles and well written story dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Following the "Confront the Undine leader" task consider changing the response button "Set it for a twenty second dely" to read "Set it for a twenty second delay".

The Second Battle of Ker'rat: This is a good map design with several tough battles and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a good job developing this mission. I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian

This critique report also filed 11/12/2012 on forum posting for: A.J. Stoner Mission catalogue
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details.
Captain
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 520
# 414
11-12-2012, 07:19 PM
Thanks Brian, you were right about the east-west vs. north-south starstreaks. It would be nice if it could just be 1 asset that rotated but hey, what do I know?

One thing I was unclear on what you meant:

Quote:
Originally Posted by evil70th View Post
Covetous Qritt's Stardust Lounge: -Consider using triggered optional dialogue that can be removed when the player achieves a certain objective.
Thanks,

AJS
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 380
# 415
11-14-2012, 12:59 PM
Hi evil70th,

Just wanted to say thanks for the awesome review. And thanks for squeezing in doing Foundry reviews when you are so swamped!

You're the best! Glad you enjoyed the mission.
Ensign
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 8
# 416
11-16-2012, 03:55 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by evil70th View Post
You did a good job of fixing the pit issues on the first map but the problem still exist on the second map. Players will not play a mission they have to abort and restart because they fall into a pit and cannot get up. They will become frustrated and drop your mission. For that I reason I still cannot recommend this mission to other players.

I suggest you make the consoles more accessible all the way around the platform. You can place low level enemy mobs around the consoles to make them harder to get to.

Thanks for authoring,
Brian
Thank you very much for the info. Just to state my intentions in my mission, the last map is intended to be restarted if one or more party members fall...kinda like an STF. Since I can not control respawn points or mission objective resets finely enough, this is the only option For now I warn players with OOC text and wait for more control in future updates in the foundry

As regards to the consoles, the whole level is meant to be a platformer more so than a run and gun; therefore, placing them such makes it true to that versus adding mobs for difficulty.

Knowing now that those particular things you mentioned is working by design, are they too 'difficult'...or just to 'annoying'? Taking in account the time it takes to beam out and beam back in after falling into the pit, does it take too long for a group of 5 to try and figure out the boss battle? I might not be realizing it because I built it and I knew how to beat it from the start, lol.

Thanks very much. I know you're busy, but I really do appreciate your mission critiquing services And this info will help for my space battle I'm gonna try to attach to the beginning of this mission. Thanks again.
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 752
# 417
11-18-2012, 12:02 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ajstoner View Post
Thanks Brian, you were right about the east-west vs. north-south starstreaks. It would be nice if it could just be 1 asset that rotated but hey, what do I know?

One thing I was unclear on what you meant:

Thanks,

AJS
The optional triggered dialogue I was referring to is usually set up by using an object placed to provide the player with a button to talk to a NPC. This triggered dialogue can be set to go away once the player has completed a specific objective or once they have initiated that particular dialogue. It gives the author the ability to expand elements of the story that do not have to be a part of the storyline. I learned about it when developing my "Contamination" mission. It is a great story telling tool and removes multiple NPC dialogue indicators that can tend to distract from the story you are trying to tell.

Glad I could help, thanks again for authoring,
Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details.
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 752
# 418
11-18-2012, 12:06 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by captainhunter1 View Post
Hi evil70th,

Just wanted to say thanks for the awesome review. And thanks for squeezing in doing Foundry reviews when you are so swamped!

You're the best! Glad you enjoyed the mission.
Thanks Captain. Your mission was a lot of fun and I enjoyed it a lot. Mission reviews are a good diversion from my work and a way to relax.

Thanks for authoring, and keep up the great work.
Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details.
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 752
# 419
11-18-2012, 12:12 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by scaryguycalculon View Post
Thank you very much for the info. Just to state my intentions in my mission, the last map is intended to be restarted if one or more party members fall...kinda like an STF. Since I can not control respawn points or mission objective resets finely enough, this is the only option For now I warn players with OOC text and wait for more control in future updates in the foundry

As regards to the consoles, the whole level is meant to be a platformer more so than a run and gun; therefore, placing them such makes it true to that versus adding mobs for difficulty.

Knowing now that those particular things you mentioned is working by design, are they too 'difficult'...or just to 'annoying'? Taking in account the time it takes to beam out and beam back in after falling into the pit, does it take too long for a group of 5 to try and figure out the boss battle? I might not be realizing it because I built it and I knew how to beat it from the start, lol.

Thanks very much. I know you're busy, but I really do appreciate your mission critiquing services And this info will help for my space battle I'm gonna try to attach to the beginning of this mission. Thanks again.
As always I am glad I could help. There are plenty of tutorials available on Starbase UGC that can help you learn better and easier ways to create mission elements. I learned a lot from those tutorials. Good luck as you move forward in your mission development.

Thanks for authoring,
Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details.
Lieutenant
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 89
# 420 My review
12-14-2012, 12:38 AM
Hey Evil70th, i have 2 new missions that i would liked to be reviewed by you, since the last 2 missions were reviewed by you i have spent extra time on spelling and grammar so i hope its not that bad this time around, but i might have missed here and there.

Thanks for taking your time to review my parts 3 and 4.
Logitech007

Mission Name: Tempus fugit: De Road Domus Part three
Author: Logitech007
Minimum Level: 35+
Allegiance: Starfleet
Project ID: ST-ST-HD4BEXZRY
Estimated Mission Length: App hour or so
Method of Report Delivery: Both


Mission Name: Tempus fugit: Domus Part 4
Author: Logitech007
Minimum Level: any
Allegiance: Starfleet
Project ID: ST-HJ7DUB9SI
Estimated Mission Length: App 30 or so min
Method of Report Delivery: Both

Thanks for taking the time to play and i look forward to your feedback.

Thanks
Logitech007
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