The part that kills me about all this debate is that nobody takes the Trek Movie vs Trek Series argument in context with the time it came out.
When Star Trek TMP came out, it was pretty "dark and gritty" too. Vaporizing a woman? Wut?!
TWoK was, for it's day, a special-effects fanfare.
Star Trek III, the evil Klingons wipe out dozens of innocent Federation crew on the Grissom in a single shot, and then go on to kill Kirk's son..That was pretty racy in 1984. We're talking about the same era that billed Red Dawn as "The most violent movie in history"...
It's really not so different from what JJ Trek is today. It doesn't have the same 'feel' as a TV series because it's 2 hours long, not 7 seasons. How much exploration do you want to do in a feature-length film?
All of the Trek movies have been more action-packed and action-oriented then the shows, with the exception of a few episodes of DS9. But as someone said earlier, the movies always found a way to try and keep it somewhat light-hearted and found a way to keep it from taking itself too seriously. Like Cochrane's shenanigans in First Contact.
JJTrek does it too. It's got a serious plot, it's got lots of cutting-edge special effects, it's got lots of action, and it kicks in a little comedy and romance, too.