Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 322
# 421
12-14-2012, 02:10 AM
Hey - How are you going Evil70th.


Got a new mission up that I'd like your assistance in checking. It's called "Wibbly Wobbly Timey Wimey" and it's a Klingon mission. Any level

Thanks, Much appreciated. Baz.
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,413
# 422
12-15-2012, 02:01 AM
My first time asking for a review from Evil70th *shudder in fear at his name*

Please have a look at my mission.

Mission Name: Officer Reports 1 : Ushaan
Author: @hippiejohn
Minimum Level: 35 +
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HPXL3NPMH
Estimated Mission Length: Intended to be between 20 and 30 minutes.
Method of Report Delivery: could you post it to this thread ?

http://sto-forum.perfectworld.com/sh...d.php?t=485431

Last edited by hippiejon; 12-15-2012 at 05:44 AM.
Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 770
# 423
12-15-2012, 07:54 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by logitech007 View Post
Hey Evil70th, i have 2 new missions that i would liked to be reviewed by you, since the last 2 missions were reviewed by you i have spent extra time on spelling and grammar so i hope its not that bad this time around, but i might have missed here and there.

Thanks for taking your time to review my parts 3 and 4.
Logitech007

Mission Name: Tempus fugit: De Road Domus Part three
Author: Logitech007
Minimum Level: 35+
Allegiance: Starfleet
Project ID: ST-ST-HD4BEXZRY
Estimated Mission Length: App hour or so
Method of Report Delivery: Both


Mission Name: Tempus fugit: Domus Part 4
Author: Logitech007
Minimum Level: any
Allegiance: Starfleet
Project ID: ST-HJ7DUB9SI
Estimated Mission Length: App 30 or so min
Method of Report Delivery: Both

Thanks for taking the time to play and i look forward to your feedback.

Thanks
Logitech007
Hi Logitech007,

Welcome back to the queue. Both of these missions are 1st and 2nd in the queue and I am going to start on them this morning. I will post here once I finish them. Back in the saddle again...

Thanks for authoring,
Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details.
Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 770
# 424
12-15-2012, 08:03 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by bazag View Post
Hey - How are you going Evil70th.


Got a new mission up that I'd like your assistance in checking. It's called "Wibbly Wobbly Timey Wimey" and it's a Klingon mission. Any level

Thanks, Much appreciated. Baz.
Hi Baz,

Welcome back to the queue. I'm doing great, busy at work, and getting ready for the holidays. I'm going to pick up a tree today. Your mission is 3rd in the queue behind Logitech007. I am starting on the queue this morning and I will get to your mission as soon as I can.

Thanks for authoring,
Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details.

Last edited by evil70th; 12-15-2012 at 08:16 AM.
Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 770
# 425
12-15-2012, 08:15 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by hippiejon View Post
My first time asking for a review from Evil70th *shudder in fear at his name*

Please have a look at my mission.

Mission Name: Officer Reports 1 : Ushaan
Author: @hippiejohn
Minimum Level: 35 +
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HPXL3NPMH
Estimated Mission Length: Intended to be between 20 and 30 minutes.
Method of Report Delivery: could you post it to this thread ?

http://sto-forum.perfectworld.com/sh...d.php?t=485431
Hi Hippiejon,

Welcome to the queue as a first timer. I actually laughed out loud when I read your "*shudder in fear at his name*". I did not realize my name as a reviewer had become so feared. Your mission is 4th in the queue behind Bazag. I am starting on the queue right after I post this response. I will get to your mission as soon as I can and will post both here and in your requested forum posting.

Thanks for authoring,
Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details.
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,413
# 426
12-15-2012, 08:19 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by evil70th View Post
I actually laughed out loud when I read your "*shudder in fear at his name*". I did not realize my name as a reviewer had become so feared.
Good, the hope was to make you laugh.
And it's not your reputation as a reviewer, its the fact that it's "EVIL"70th.

Evil is scary
Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 770
# 427
12-15-2012, 08:23 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by hippiejon View Post
Good, the hope was to make you laugh.
And it's not your reputation as a reviewer, its the fact that it's "EVIL"70th.

Evil is scary
I figured it was the name. Either way you definitely made me laugh.

Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details.
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,507
# 428
12-15-2012, 07:01 PM
Hey evil70th,

I asked for a review earlier but pulled it but my missions are now up and ready.

Mission Name: Duritanium Man
Author: @Zorbane
Minimum Level: 41+
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HSMJTB692
Estimated Mission Length: 45minutes - 1 hour
Method of Report Delivery: Forum Post

Mission Name: The Galaxy's Fair
Author: @Zorbane
Minimum Level: Any level
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HIL8TIJ29
Estimated Mission Length: 20-30minutes
Method of Report Delivery: Forum Post

Duritanium Man comes first.

As always :Thanks!

Check out my Foundry missions:
Standalone - The Great Escape - The Galaxy's Fair - Purity I: Of Denial - Return to Oblivion
The Defenders - Duritanium Man - The Improbable Bulk - [WIP] Commander Rihan
Empire Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 2,202
# 429
12-16-2012, 05:10 AM
Hey Evil70th, I hope you're doing well.

I'd like you to review a mission I've completely revamped. You have already reviewed it but i've made many changes (i removed maps, npcs, added some dialogs, and I did a lot of polishing). If you don't review missions twice then it's not a problem to me. My original goal was to offer an adventure, but it was way too long and tortuous. It should be a lot closer to my purpose like that.


Mission name: Gunboat diplomacy (formerly known as "The heart of your enemy").
Author: diogene0
Mission lengh: 45 minutes at most.
Faction: KDF
Minimul level: 16+
Project ID: ST-HFDC324BE
Method of Report Delivery: forum post please.

Thanks for your help, as always!
Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 770
Quote:
Originally Posted by logitech007 View Post
Hey Evil70th, i have 2 new missions that i would liked to be reviewed by you, since the last 2 missions were reviewed by you i have spent extra time on spelling and grammar so i hope its not that bad this time around, but i might have missed here and there.

Thanks for taking your time to review my parts 3 and 4.
Logitech007

Mission Name: Tempus fugit: De Road Domus Part three
Author: Logitech007
Minimum Level: 35+
Allegiance: Starfleet
Project ID: ST-ST-HD4BEXZRY
Estimated Mission Length: App hour or so
Method of Report Delivery: Both

Thanks for taking the time to play and i look forward to your feedback.

Thanks
Logitech007
Federation Mission - Tempus fugit: De Road Domus Part three
Author: Logitech007
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HD4BEXZRY

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: This is a good mission with a well written story dialogue. The battles are tough and I would not recommend a player take this mission on at Elite level. I would recommend the mission on Normal.

The biggest issue I noted was the use of lower case "i" when an upper case "I" should have been used. On some of the maps the dialogue used the lower case "i" further into a sentence after properly using the upper case "I" at the start of the sentence. Consider going through the dialogue and fixing these issues.

Below are some things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

Mission Description: This is a good description that draws me in and makes me want to play. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.

Grant Mission Dialogue: You need to change the dialogue to something other than a regurgitation of the description. This is where you have to draw the player into the story and make them want to click the "Accept" button. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

Mission Task: This is a good initial task with a clear location of the first custom map. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this task.

Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.

MAPS:
Celtris System: This is a good map design with a tough but fun battle. The story dialogue is well written. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider changing "But i am detected a fleet of Orion vessels inbound on our position" to read "But I am picking up several Orion vessels inbound".
-The "Commander Yrevish" dialogue at the beginning of the map appears to have the entire dialogue from "Commander Lukeson" who spoke right before him.
-Consider changing "But i really don't know" to read "I really don't know".

Orion Village: This is a very detailed and well made map. The story dialogue is well done. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The away team is clustered together at the spawn point. There must be some sort of obstruction nearby. Consider moving the way point in a little more.
-Consider changing "Last area, i can not pinpoint what that location is" to read "Last area, I cannot pinpoint what that location is". This is the third time in the mission I have a lower case "i" were it should be an upper case "I". From this point forward I will only note the maps and will cover it in the summary.
-Consider change the response button "Let's head out and everyone watch your self, this might be a Shadow Alliance base" to read "Let's head out and everyone watch yourself, this might be a Shadow Alliance base".
-At the "Camp site", the tent is hanging off the edge of the hill side. Consider moving the campsite to a flatter area so the tent sits flat on the ground.
-Consider separating the "Scan the Camp site" and "Go to the camp site" tasks. The grouping causes the player to have to leave the site and come back in to trigger the dialogue.
-Consider changing the "Talk to Orion child" tasks to be completed one at a time. Each could be triggered after the other.
-Consider reducing the number of "Talk to Alien" tasks to no more than two or give them each something more to say than the same thing.

Underground base: This is a nice map design with some tough battles. The story dialogue is well written. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Use of lower case "i" instead of upper case "I".
-The "Set up the transporter Pattern Enhancers" task. Currently they appear as soon as the tasks are available for the player. It looks odd. Consider setting up an invisible object as the trigger point and then set the pattern enhancers to appear when the player interacts with the invisible object.

Celtris System: This is a good map design with some tough battles. The story dialogue is short but well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Briefing Room: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider changing "evasive manoeuvers" to read "evasive maneuvers".

Maeiwski System: This is a good map design with tough but fun battles and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Ferengi Vessel: This is a nice map design with okay story dialogue but I find it unlikely that a Federation player would destroy a vessel they have captured by boarding it. This is a story point comment. The decision to destroy a vessel the Federation has boarded seems unnecessary. The player could arrest the Ferengi Captain and take the ship. This of course would make the battle on the next map unnecessary. You could delete that map and add a battle on this map with the crew of the Ferengi vessel. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider changing "There is only three Ferengi lifesign" to read "There is only three Ferengi life signs".
-Use of lower case "i" instead of upper case "I".

Maeiwski System: This is a nice map design with a good battle but as indicated on the previous map write up I am not sure this map is needed. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Adarak Prime: This is a good map design with a tough but fun battle. The story dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Deep Space: This is a good map design with tough but fun battles and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Bortas Bridge: This is a good map design with very tough battles. The story dialogue is well written. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The battles need some balancing. There are too many high level enemy mobs. I would not recommend this on Elite level.
-Use of lower case "i" instead of upper case "I".

Deep Space: This is a good map design with a tough but fun battle and well written story dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The "Lukeson" dialogue that follows the battle is also repeated in the "Player" dialogue in response to Lukeson.

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. This is a good mission in the series and I can see that you took several of the recommendations from my previous mission critiques. Good work.
Brian

This critique report also filed 12/16/2012 on forum posting for: Logitech007's 2 new missions
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details.

Last edited by evil70th; 12-16-2012 at 12:26 PM.
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