Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3,476
# 21
12-17-2012, 02:14 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by keepcalm View Post
Pretty much this, +1. Except, I loved Thirethequ and every ship needs a Jolciot. Those guys look like fun to write.
I thought Thirethequ was awesome
Rihannsu
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 216
# 22
12-17-2012, 05:05 PM
@Shevet

Great story! I really enjoyed how your character utilized the gift she was given. And Thirethequ gave me quite a chuckle. Thanks for the excellent story. One question though, if I may, what species is your captain?
Vice Admiral Bryan Mitchel Valot
Commanding officer: Odyssey class U.S.S. Athena
Admiral of the 1st Assault Fleet
Join date: Some time in Closed Beta
Commander
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 394
# 23
12-18-2012, 04:44 AM
Shevet, a brilliant story

Ironphoenix, Shevet's Captain/Admiral was Andorian.
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 615
# 24
12-18-2012, 05:53 AM
Wow, thanks for all the kind words, folks!

I've always figured that Starfleet, and the Federation, try very hard when it comes to cultural acceptance and so on, but don't always succeed. Heck, in the 23rd century, Starfleet's finest were tossing around phrases like "green-blooded freak" and "pointy-eared hobgoblin" (and, let's not forget, the Vulcan's aren't altogether innocent here, either; remember Sarek's put-down of the Tellarites?) So, I figure we are stuck, even in the 25th century, with a certain amount of disparaging, stereotyping, and so on. I've written Tylha herself as not being quite free of this; not exactly prejudiced, but she does have a touch of "no, honestly, some of my best friends are whiny damn pinkskins" about her....

(Tylha is Andorian... most of the time. When Q isn't messing with her genome! That's her in my avatar, photographed from her good side, the one that doesn't show the scars.)

Another thing I figure is that, since I'm trying to put across Tylha's slightly skewed viewpoint, I need to inhabit that viewpoint as closely as possible. That's why I've opted for the first-person, present-tense narration. I know it's something some readers find off-putting - I find it hard work to read, myself, sometimes - but it's the best way, I think, to put a sense of immediacy into the viewpoint - to get inside that blue, antennae-ed, partly rebuilt head. Well, that's the reasoning behind it, anyway!

Thirethequ, well, his appearance was straightforward "random alien bridge officer", but it was striking enough that I decided not to change it - and, then, deciding on his characterization, I simply went with having it absolutely what you would not expect, from looking at him. An old trick and a cheap one, but if it works, I'm not complaining. (I'm now, however, contemplating using an alien boff candidate and making a Jolciot girlfriend for him!)

Oh, and I do kind of wish my Tholian bridge actually worked the way I've described it! - get on that, devs, would you?
Commander
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 394
# 25
12-18-2012, 06:36 AM
I know what you mean about the prejudices still being out there. I try to keep Jinx adhering to Starfleet's levels of acceptance when it comes to such things, but there are some things that just push people a little too far (like being presented with a child as a reward for helping someone) towards thinking 'these people aren't human/vulcon/andorian/trill/etc.

The tribe in my entry were actually meant to be fairly well civilised for a primitive people, just with a very rigid sense of obligation. Their sense of honour/obligation/whatever you want to call it meant they had been provided with a future at the hands of these outsiders. Literally the only way to repay them would be to provide the outsiders with a piece of their future, and for the outsiders to refuse, it would have been seen as an insult of massive proportions, implying that the outsiders thought very little of the tribe and that one of their own would not be 'worthy' of becoming a 'great hero'.

But, because of this strict code of conduct, Jinx's first reaction when she hears they are giving her a child is to call them savages. What she didn't see is that the child's parents had willingly gave up their child in the hopes that he becomes something great.
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3,476
# 26
12-18-2012, 08:33 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by shevet View Post
Wow, thanks for all the kind words, folks!

I've always figured that Starfleet, and the Federation, try very hard when it comes to cultural acceptance and so on, but don't always succeed. Heck, in the 23rd century, Starfleet's finest were tossing around phrases like "green-blooded freak" and "pointy-eared hobgoblin" (and, let's not forget, the Vulcan's aren't altogether innocent here, either; remember Sarek's put-down of the Tellarites?) So, I figure we are stuck, even in the 25th century, with a certain amount of disparaging, stereotyping, and so on. I've written Tylha herself as not being quite free of this; not exactly prejudiced, but she does have a touch of "no, honestly, some of my best friends are whiny damn pinkskins" about her....

(Tylha is Andorian... most of the time. When Q isn't messing with her genome! That's her in my avatar, photographed from her good side, the one that doesn't show the scars.)

Another thing I figure is that, since I'm trying to put across Tylha's slightly skewed viewpoint, I need to inhabit that viewpoint as closely as possible. That's why I've opted for the first-person, present-tense narration. I know it's something some readers find off-putting - I find it hard work to read, myself, sometimes - but it's the best way, I think, to put a sense of immediacy into the viewpoint - to get inside that blue, antennae-ed, partly rebuilt head. Well, that's the reasoning behind it, anyway!

Thirethequ, well, his appearance was straightforward "random alien bridge officer", but it was striking enough that I decided not to change it - and, then, deciding on his characterization, I simply went with having it absolutely what you would not expect, from looking at him. An old trick and a cheap one, but if it works, I'm not complaining. (I'm now, however, contemplating using an alien boff candidate and making a Jolciot girlfriend for him!)

Oh, and I do kind of wish my Tholian bridge actually worked the way I've described it! - get on that, devs, would you?
Ahh, that makes more sense, a way of creating the disorientation of a Tholian ship through tense... I take back what I said
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3,476
# 27
12-18-2012, 08:41 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by bortjinx View Post
I know what you mean about the prejudices still being out there. I try to keep Jinx adhering to Starfleet's levels of acceptance when it comes to such things, but there are some things that just push people a little too far (like being presented with a child as a reward for helping someone) towards thinking 'these people aren't human/vulcon/andorian/trill/etc.
I know where you're coming from, as I'm trying to accomplish a similar thing with the relationship between Marcus and S'rR's, where his Human cultural values and morals have been challenged not only by Pentaxian bonding customs, but also the additional twist that S'rR's is not really his biological daughter, but a binary clone with what is essentially a hardwired Electra complex...

Quote:
Originally Posted by bortjinx View Post
The tribe in my entry were actually meant to be fairly well civilised for a primitive people, just with a very rigid sense of obligation. Their sense of honour/obligation/whatever you want to call it meant they had been provided with a future at the hands of these outsiders. Literally the only way to repay them would be to provide the outsiders with a piece of their future, and for the outsiders to refuse, it would have been seen as an insult of massive proportions, implying that the outsiders thought very little of the tribe and that one of their own would not be 'worthy' of becoming a 'great hero'.

But, because of this strict code of conduct, Jinx's first reaction when she hears they are giving her a child is to call them savages. What she didn't see is that the child's parents had willingly gave up their child in the hopes that he becomes something great.
I definitely want to know more of what will happen to the boy, how he grows, and what he grows into. When I first wrote the character of S'rR's, she was supposed to be a 'background character' and an early teen in the Nemesis era, so when SOL jumped the timeline forwards a few decades, I was left with the necessity to 'update my crew', and discovering the woman she would have became seemed a logical thread to follow
Commander
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 394
# 28
12-19-2012, 02:55 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by marcusdkane View Post
I know where you're coming from, as I'm trying to accomplish a similar thing with the relationship between Marcus and S'rR's, where his Human cultural values and morals have been challenged not only by Pentaxian bonding customs, but also the additional twist that S'rR's is not really his biological daughter, but a binary clone with what is essentially a hardwired Electra complex...
Sounds like a complicated relationship. Should make for interesting reading

Quote:
Originally Posted by marcusdkane View Post
I definitely want to know more of what will happen to the boy, how he grows, and what he grows into. When I first wrote the character of S'rR's, she was supposed to be a 'background character' and an early teen in the Nemesis era, so when SOL jumped the timeline forwards a few decades, I was left with the necessity to 'update my crew', and discovering the woman she would have became seemed a logical thread to follow
Honestly, all I wanted was an unusual idea for this challenge, lol. Since writing it though, I have come to agree with you. That character has far too much potential to be just wasted.

My basic idea for what happens next is that he is taken to Earth, or maybe Trill, and fostered out for a few years. After that, he is entered into Starfleet Academy. Haven't thought much beyond that. I currently have a lot of writing on my plate (Jinx's background is turning into a novel it seems, lol - if anyone wants to read it, let me know), but I'll have to come back to this character later on.
Rihannsu
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 216
# 29
12-19-2012, 06:27 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by bortjinx View Post
Sounds like a complicated relationship. Should make for interesting reading



Honestly, all I wanted was an unusual idea for this challenge, lol. Since writing it though, I have come to agree with you. That character has far too much potential to be just wasted.

My basic idea for what happens next is that he is taken to Earth, or maybe Trill, and fostered out for a few years. After that, he is entered into Starfleet Academy. Haven't thought much beyond that. I currently have a lot of writing on my plate (Jinx's background is turning into a novel it seems, lol - if anyone wants to read it, let me know), but I'll have to come back to this character later on.
I think complicated relationships are just going to be a fact of life in Starfleet, especially for ships (like the Athena) that spend very little time in dock. Bryan runs his crew very tightly when they're on duty, so he generally lets more slide when they're off. This has more than once caused issues on board, but the issue is generally dealt with quickly.
Vice Admiral Bryan Mitchel Valot
Commanding officer: Odyssey class U.S.S. Athena
Admiral of the 1st Assault Fleet
Join date: Some time in Closed Beta
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3,476
# 30
12-19-2012, 06:25 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by bortjinx View Post
Sounds like a complicated relationship. Should make for interesting reading
I've just posted her biography, so feel free to take a look and let me know what you think

Quote:
Originally Posted by bortjinx View Post
Honestly, all I wanted was an unusual idea for this challenge, lol. Since writing it though, I have come to agree with you. That character has far too much potential to be just wasted.
Absolutely, I feel the boy may well develop into your breakout character

Quote:
Originally Posted by bortjinx View Post
My basic idea for what happens next is that he is taken to Earth, or maybe Trill, and fostered out for a few years. After that, he is entered into Starfleet Academy. Haven't thought much beyond that. I currently have a lot of writing on my plate (Jinx's background is turning into a novel it seems, lol - if anyone wants to read it, let me know), but I'll have to come back to this character later on.
Would absolutely love to read Jinx's background
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