Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 317
# 441
12-19-2012, 08:01 PM
I post again and suddenly you've got a list as long as my arm.

That's my curse, that's my blessing :p
Rihannsu
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 12,192
# 442
12-19-2012, 08:46 PM
Looks like you have a long list, but here's another one:

Mission Title: Diplomacy in the Gamma Quadrant
Player @Handle: @Marhawkman
Faction: Klingon
Level Requirement: 35+
Mission Summary: Orions are not the best warriors but they are skilled traders. Melani Di'an has convinced the high council that it is time to attempt to open trade negotiations with an old enemy. The task the High Council has given you is to make contact so that the negotiations can actually begin.

could you post here: http://sto-forum.perfectworld.com/sh...21#post7163921

PMs or posting here is fine too.
HAIL HYDRA!

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
I can haz joystick!
MMOs aren't charities. Corporations are supposed to make a profit. It's what they do.
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 752
# 443
12-20-2012, 08:13 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by jhawkonespn View Post
Mission Name: Kobayashi Maru
Author: @JHawk1128
Minimum Level: Any Level
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HR5QOAR8K
Estimated Mission Length: ~20 Minutes
Method of Report Delivery: In-Game Message
Hi Jhawk1128,

Thanks for the review request. Your mission is 8th in the list behind q403's mission. I plan to get started on the queue this weekend.

Thanks for authoring,
Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details.
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 752
# 444
12-20-2012, 08:19 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by bazag View Post
I post again and suddenly you've got a list as long as my arm.

That's my curse, that's my blessing :p
You are only 2nd in the list. Work has been keeping me busy lately as we come to the end of the year. I will be getting started on the queue this weekend.

Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details.
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 752
# 445
12-20-2012, 08:25 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by markhawkman View Post
Looks like you have a long list, but here's another one:

Mission Title: Diplomacy in the Gamma Quadrant
Player @Handle: @Marhawkman
Faction: Klingon
Level Requirement: 35+
Mission Summary: Orions are not the best warriors but they are skilled traders. Melani Di'an has convinced the high council that it is time to attempt to open trade negotiations with an old enemy. The task the High Council has given you is to make contact so that the negotiations can actually begin.

could you post here: http://sto-forum.perfectworld.com/sh...21#post7163921

PMs or posting here is fine too.
Hi Marhawkman,

Welcome back to the queue. Your mission is currently 9th in the queue behind JHawk1128's mission. I will be getting into the queue this weekend. I am literally working right up through Friday and I am looking forward to the Christmas weekend!

Thanks for authoring,
Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details.
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 752
Quote:
Originally Posted by logitech007 View Post
Hey Evil70th, i have 2 new missions that i would liked to be reviewed by you, since the last 2 missions were reviewed by you i have spent extra time on spelling and grammar so i hope its not that bad this time around, but i might have missed here and there.

Thanks for taking your time to review my parts 3 and 4.
Logitech007

Mission Name: Tempus fugit: De Road Domus Part three
Author: Logitech007
Minimum Level: 35+
Allegiance: Starfleet
Project ID: ST-ST-HD4BEXZRY
Estimated Mission Length: App hour or so
Method of Report Delivery: Both


Mission Name: Tempus fugit: Domus Part 4
Author: Logitech007
Minimum Level: any
Allegiance: Starfleet
Project ID: ST-HJ7DUB9SI
Estimated Mission Length: App 30 or so min
Method of Report Delivery: Both

Thanks for taking the time to play and i look forward to your feedback.

Thanks
Logitech007
Federation Mission - Tempus fugit: Domus Part 4
Author: Logitech007
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HJ7DUB9SI

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: This is a good battle oriented mission with good map design and some good story dialogue to keep the mission moving forward. I would recommend this mission to other players who like that kind of mission.

I noted on several of the maps that the enemy mobs seemed way out gunned by friendly forces, so much so that I virtually did not have to engage enemy mobs. Battle balancing is one of the hardest things to do when authoring a mission. If you make it too hard then the players will not enjoy it, and the same is true if you make it too easy. You need to find the right balance. Try to make the support vessels and enemy vessels match in strength and type. Then the player will be the deciding factor in the battle. I realize this is not easy to do, so good luck.

Below are some things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

Mission Description: This is a good description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.

Grant Mission Dialogue: The dialogue is intriguing. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider changing "will you be able to make to the vortex" to read "will you be able to reach the vortex".
-Consider changing "One member of the crew will pay the ultimate sacrifice to try to get the crew home" to read "One member of the crew will make the ultimate sacrifice to get the rest home".

Mission Task: This is a good initial task with a clear start location for the first custom map. I noted no spelling errors with this task.

Mission Entry Prompt: The usage of the prompt is okay. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.

MAPS:
AR-558: This is a nice map design with a simple battle and well written dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider changing the response button "Let's not give us a chance too" to read "Let's not give them the chance too".

Chin'Toka IV: This is a good map design with a good battle and some story dialogue to drive the mission forward. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider changing the battle balance to be just a little tougher. The friendly forces almost wiped out the enemy mobs with very little assistance from me.

Chin'Toka II/ Chin'Toka III: This is a good map design with a couple of good battles and some story dialogue to drive the mission forward. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider changing the battle balance to be just a little tougher. The friendly forces pretty much wiped out the enemy mobs with virtually no assistance from me.
-Consider changing "We are coming towards Chin'Toga" to read "We are approaching Chin'Toka". This is based on the map name you give to the next map.

Chin'Toka: This is a nice map design with a good battle and some story dialogue to move the mission forward. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-I noted the task on this map says "Scan the Chin'Toga area" but the map name is "Chin'Toka". That is why I made the note above regarding Chin'Toga.
-Consider changing the battle balance to be just a little tougher. The friendly forces pretty much wiped out the enemy mobs with no assistance from me.
-Consider changing the map transfer dialogue "[Rank], we are coming towards the vortex" to read "[Rank], we are approaching the vortex".

Chin'Toka: This is a good map design with some nice optional battles and well written story dialogue to move the mission forward. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider changing the response button "Sorry, i can not spare anyone right now; just do the best you can" to read "Sorry, I cannot spare anyone right now; just do the best you can".
-Consider changing the Lukeson dialogue; "[Rank], i can quickly help them out" to read "[Rank], I can quickly help them out".

Deep Space: This is a nice map design with well written dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider changing the initial dialogue; "[Rank], i think we did it" to read "[Rank], I think we did it".
-Consider changing the Engineer dialogue; "[Rank], i have good news and bad news" to read "[Rank], I have good news and bad news".

Deck Six: This is a very nicely done map with good mission and series wrap up dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing in several places:
-There are seven places in the player's dialogue to Lukeson's casket that you use "i" vice "I". Consider changing those to "I".

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. This is a good mission and a nice wrap up to the series. Your technique is definitely improving. Keep up the good work.
Brian

This critique report also filed 12/22/2012 on forum posting for: Logitech007's 2 new missions
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details.
Lieutenant
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 89
# 447 mission review
12-22-2012, 05:51 PM
Thanks so much Evil70th for the mission review.

Im looking into fixing those issues that you have pointed out to me.
Thanks.

Out of 5 stars, what would you give the Series?

Im working another series right now. I will give you the info when i am done.

Thanks.
Logitech007
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 752
# 448
12-22-2012, 07:31 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by logitech007 View Post
Thanks so much Evil70th for the mission review.

Im looking into fixing those issues that you have pointed out to me.
Thanks.

Out of 5 stars, what would you give the Series?

Im working another series right now. I will give you the info when i am done.

Thanks.
Logitech007
Overall I would give the series a solid 4 stars...
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details.
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 752
Quote:
Originally Posted by bazag View Post
Hey - How are you going Evil70th.


Got a new mission up that I'd like your assistance in checking. It's called "Wibbly Wobbly Timey Wimey" and it's a Klingon mission. Any level

Thanks, Much appreciated. Baz.
Klingon Mission - Wibbly Wobbly Timey Wimey
Author: Bazag
Allegiance: Klingon
Project ID: ST-HJUSQESHQ

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: This is a great mission with good map design, tough fun battles, and excellent story dialogue. I would highly recommend this mission to players who like those elements combined with a time travel story that actually works if you pay attention.

Below are a couple of things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

Mission Description: This is a good description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.

Grant Mission Dialogue: This is a good grant dialogue. It draws me in and makes me want to click "Accept". I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

Mission Task: This is a good initial task with a clear start location for the first custom map. I noted no spelling errors with this task.

Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.

MAPS:
Space: This is a good map design with excellent story dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider changing "We've reached the U.S.S. Picollo" to read "We've reached the U.S.S. Piccolo".
-Consider moving the U.S.S. Piccolo to be at least 12km away when the dialogue is triggered. If a player is cloaked they become uncloaked when the dialogue is triggered. It seems unusual for the player to be within 10km and the U.S.S. Piccolo does not see them.
-Consider reorienting the map to face east and using the "WeatherStarStreaks East-West 01" effect.

X-114: This is a good map design with tough, but fun battles, and excellent story dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider changing "there is far too much energy being generated" to read "There is far too much energy being generated".

Unknown System: This is a great map design with tough, but fun battles, and excellent story dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider changing "I recoomend you see what Starfleet had to say about this incident" to read "I recommend you see what Starfleet had to say about this incident".

Space Again: This is a nice map design and a good wrap up to this mission. The story dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider reorienting the map to face east and using the "WeatherStarStreaks East-West 01" effect.

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a great job with this mission. As always, I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian

This critique report also filed 12/23/2012 on forum posting for: The Updated Consolidate List of Bazag Missions
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details.
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 752
Quote:
Originally Posted by hippiejon View Post
My first time asking for a review from Evil70th *shudder in fear at his name*

Please have a look at my mission.

Mission Name: Officer Reports 1 : Ushaan
Author: @hippiejohn
Minimum Level: 35 +
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HPXL3NPMH
Estimated Mission Length: Intended to be between 20 and 30 minutes.
Method of Report Delivery: could you post it to this thread ?

http://sto-forum.perfectworld.com/sh...d.php?t=485431
Federation Mission - Officer Reports 1 : Ushaan
Author: hippiejohn
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HPXL3NPMH

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: This is a good mission with a lot of potential. The map designs are good and most of the story dialogue is very well done. I was looking forward to a great story involving Andorian traditions and a brother's pursuit of honor in defense of his kin. The shift in the story to a grind mission was annoying since there was no mention of this in the description. If you plan on keep the mission like this then you should add dialogue in the description that alludes to the possibility of this happening. I would recommend this mission to other players who like tough grinder missions but not on Elite level.

Below are some things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

Mission Description: This is a good detailed description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.

Grant Mission Dialogue: This is a good grant dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider changing "Many Officers, and some of the enlisted & civilian crew often congregate" to read "Many Officers, enlisted and civilian crew members congregate".
-Consider changing "Some of the power consuits even run through the room" to read "Some power conduits run through the room".

Mission Task: Consider adding the start location of the first custom map to the initial mission task. I noted no spelling errors with this task.

Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.

MAPS:
'Below Decks' , Junior Officer's Lounge: This is a good map design with detailed dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider changing the optional dialogue to triggered dialogue that goes away after the player interacts with it.
-Consider changing "So you'll come to Andoria then ?" to read "So you'll come to Andoria then?".
-The Linu dialogue; consider changing "Hey, at least this way we still have each other, right ?" to read "Hey, at least this way we still have each other, right?"
-I have noted at least three times where you have a space between the word and the "?" question mark. I also noted on the Chief Gug dialogue a space between the word and the "!" exclamation point. There are several locations where punctuation appears to have been separated from words by a single space, including the map name. From this point forward I will only note the maps this occurs on.

Andoria High Mountain Park: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider changing the optional dialogue to triggered dialogue that goes away after the player interacts with it.
-The Lieutenant JG Shraal dialogue; consider changing "we both know that the circumstances" to read "We both know the circumstances".
-Consider changing the response button "Good Luck, Lieutenant" to read "Good luck, Lieutenant".

High Mountain Park Nature Preserve, Peak: This is a simple map design with several tough battles that I would not recommend this map on Elite level. The story dialogue is well written. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Check punctuation in the dialogue for spaces between the word and the punctuation.
-The console is buried in the snow. If this is intentional then consider changing the player animation to kneeling vice console interaction.

High Mountain Park Nature Preserve, Lower: This is a simple map design with several tough battles that I would not recommend this map on Elite level. The story dialogue is well written.

Andoria High Mountain Park, Breen Invasion: This is a simple map design with simple battle. The story dialogue is well written.

Andoria High Mountain Park, Ushaan Duel: This is a good map design with excellent story dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Check punctuation in the dialogue for spaces between the word and the punctuation.

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. Your map design and story dialogue have a lot of potential to become a great story about Andorian traditions and honor. I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian

This critique report also filed 12/23/2012 on forum posting for: Introducing "Officer Reports"
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details.
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