Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,126
# 451
12-23-2012, 04:23 PM
You can add my mission to the list. Thank you.

Mission Name: In the Shadow of MIDAS, Part 1
Author: greendragoon
Minimum Level: 31+
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HJ7NMF3PH
Estimated Mission Length: 60+ minutes
Method of Report Delivery: Forum post here is fine.

Description:
MIDAS, an experimental array once used to communicate with the U.S.S. Voyager while it was stranded in the Delta Quadrant. These days it's sending more than messages. You are called to discover the fate of two Federation starships that failed to return after venturing through an experimental wormhole to the other side of the galaxy. But in the far reaches of space, a darkness dwells and you may find that two lost ships are the least of your worries. Do you have what it takes to unravel the mystery and return home in one piece?

Comments:
This is the first of a 3 part arc. I'll warn you now, this means it's a cliffhanger. It's also designed for single player.

Forum thread here which includes the the trailer.

@greendragoon
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 713
# 452
12-23-2012, 06:03 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by thegreendragoon1 View Post
You can add my mission to the list. Thank you.

Mission Name: In the Shadow of MIDAS, Part 1
Author: greendragoon
Minimum Level: 31+
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HJ7NMF3PH
Estimated Mission Length: 60+ minutes
Method of Report Delivery: Forum post here is fine.

Description:
MIDAS, an experimental array once used to communicate with the U.S.S. Voyager while it was stranded in the Delta Quadrant. These days it's sending more than messages. You are called to discover the fate of two Federation starships that failed to return after venturing through an experimental wormhole to the other side of the galaxy. But in the far reaches of space, a darkness dwells and you may find that two lost ships are the least of your worries. Do you have what it takes to unravel the mystery and return home in one piece?

Comments:
This is the first of a 3 part arc. I'll warn you now, this means it's a cliffhanger. It's also designed for single player.

Forum thread here which includes the the trailer.
Hi greendragoon,

Welcome to the queue. Your mission is 7th in the queue behind markhawkman. I am making progress in the queue but I may not get through it this weekend.

Thanks for authoring,
Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details.
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,304
# 453
12-24-2012, 02:07 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by evil70th View Post
Federation Mission - Officer Reports 1 : Ushaan
Author: hippiejohn
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HPXL3NPMH

----------Report Start-----------


SNIP


---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. Your map design and story dialogue have a lot of potential to become a great story about Andorian traditions and honor. I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian

This critique report also filed 12/23/2012 on forum posting for: Introducing "Officer Reports"

Thanks so much for the review. I often struggle with some decisions, and was aware that the 'grindy' element of the mission would be there. Many of the stories you encounter, including much of that Andorian tradition, etc. will be present and expanded as the episodes unfold. It is an attempt at giving enough story to get you interested to come back and play the future episodes through teases of dialogue that will pay off in later missions. (which I will also be asking you to review.)

Thanks very much for the review and there are lots of things I can go fix now, like spaces before punctuation. I considered beefing the story reveals as well to avoid the "and suddenly it gets grindy" aspect, but having already started on the opening dialogs of the second episode. I think I will leave them as is.

Again, thanks man.
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 713
# 454
12-24-2012, 07:48 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by hippiejon View Post
Thanks so much for the review. I often struggle with some decisions, and was aware that the 'grindy' element of the mission would be there. Many of the stories you encounter, including much of that Andorian tradition, etc. will be present and expanded as the episodes unfold. It is an attempt at giving enough story to get you interested to come back and play the future episodes through teases of dialogue that will pay off in later missions. (which I will also be asking you to review.)

Thanks very much for the review and there are lots of things I can go fix now, like spaces before punctuation. I considered beefing the story reveals as well to avoid the "and suddenly it gets grindy" aspect, but having already started on the opening dialogs of the second episode. I think I will leave them as is.

Again, thanks man.
Glad I could help.

Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details.
Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,126
# 455
12-24-2012, 08:52 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by evil70th View Post
Hi greendragoon,

Welcome to the queue. Your mission is 7th in the queue behind markhawkman. I am making progress in the queue but I may not get through it this weekend.

Thanks for authoring,
Brian
Thank you and no hurry. My goal is to eventually submit it for featuring once a few lingering foundry bugs get fixed. I would loved to get it as polished as possible before I do.

@greendragoon
Rihannsu
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 10,706
# 456
12-24-2012, 06:26 PM
I just thought of something. Most of the story in my mission is in the optional dialogues. Sometimes you need to talk to the Vorta in a certain order to see them.
HAIL HYDRA!

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
I can haz joystick!
MMOs aren't charities. Corporations are supposed to make a profit. It's what they do.
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 713
# 457
12-25-2012, 12:31 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by thegreendragoon1 View Post
Thank you and no hurry. My goal is to eventually submit it for featuring once a few lingering foundry bugs get fixed. I would loved to get it as polished as possible before I do.
Sounds like a good plan. I will post here as soon as I complete the review.

Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details.
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 713
# 458
12-25-2012, 12:32 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by markhawkman View Post
I just thought of something. Most of the story in my mission is in the optional dialogues. Sometimes you need to talk to the Vorta in a certain order to see them.
Thanks for the heads up. I'll keep that in mind as I go through your mission.

Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details.
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 713
Quote:
Originally Posted by zorbane View Post
Hey evil70th,

I asked for a review earlier but pulled it but my missions are now up and ready.

Mission Name: Duritanium Man
Author: @Zorbane
Minimum Level: 41+
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HSMJTB692
Estimated Mission Length: 45minutes - 1 hour
Method of Report Delivery: Forum Post

Duritanium Man comes first.

As always :Thanks!
Federation Mission - Duritanium Man
Author: Zorbane
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HSMJTB692

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: This is an excellent mission with great map designs, tough, but fun battles, and outstanding story dialogue. I thoroughly enjoyed this mission from start to finish. I would highly recommend this mission to all players. It is a good blending of comic book characters and STO mission style.

Below are a few things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

Mission Description: This is a good description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.

Grant Mission Dialogue: The grant and follow on dialogue are well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

Mission Task: This is a good initial task with a clear start location for the first custom map. I noted no spelling errors with this task.

Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.

MAPS:
Convention Center: This is a great map design with excellent story and optional dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Subterranean Caverns: This is a good map design with some tough, but fun battles, and great story dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-You have an enemy unit labeled "Reman Ensign Male 03".

Starbase Labs: This is a great map design with excellent story dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
- I recognize the story you were using but I do not think you intended to do this. The "Intercept Raine's Signal" task; consider changing "I've been having some difficulty extracting the plans from Stark" to read "I've been having some difficulty extracting the plans from Clark".

Alpha Centauri Sector Block: This is a great map design with tough, but fun battles, and excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Clark Technologies: This is a fantastic map design with tough, but fun battles, and excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a great job with this mission and I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details.
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,447
# 460
12-25-2012, 01:52 PM
Whoa those are a couple embarrassing mistakes (especially the dialogue one) Thanks for finding them!

Check out my Foundry missions:
Standalone - The Great Escape - The Galaxy's Fair - Purity I: Of Denial - Return to Oblivion
The Defenders - Duritanium Man - The Improbable Bulk - [WIP] Commander Rihan
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