Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 785
Quote:
Originally Posted by designationxr377 View Post
I figure I'll toss this one at you for the polish and input you give. Thanks in advance, as always. (Be careful/aware that some dialog trees may provoke different effects, but should not effect mission completion, only flow.)


Mission: Time Will Tell
Author: XR-377
Level: 31+
Allegiance: Klingon
Estimated Mission Length:30-45m (Full Dialog Tree Exploration may yield different results)
Method of Delivery: Forum Post

Description: When K.D.F. High Command asks you to investigate a strange anomaly near Qo'noS you find yourself face to face with a dark future for the Empire. Will you find the guides you need to make sure it doesn't come to pass?
Klingon Mission - Time Will Tell
Author: XR-377
Allegiance: Klingon
Project ID: ST-HG93ODWIE

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: This is a great mission with glorious battles, good map designs, and excellent story dialogue. It is always difficult to create a mission that involves temporal elements in the story, but you handled it quite well. I would highly recommend this mission to other players.

Below are a couple of things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

Mission Description: This is a good description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.

Grant Mission Dialogue: This is a good grant dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider changing "strange anomaly nearby Qo'nos" to read "strange anomaly nearby Qo'noS".

Mission Task: This is a good initial task with a clear start location for the first custom map. I noted no spelling errors with this task

Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.

MAPS:
Investigate the Anomaly in the Kahless Expanse: This is a good map design with excellent story dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The post "Escape by Creating a Stationary Warp Bubble Near the Anomaly" task; consider changing the response button "Very well, let's set course for Qo'nos" to read "Very well, let's set course for Qo'noS".

Qo'noS System: This is a good map design with glorious battles and excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Qo'noS, First City: This is a good map design with glorious battles and excellent story dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The Klingon Youth dialogue; consider changing "after his 3rd stint in a federation" to read "after his 3rd stint in a Federation".
-Consider changing the optional dialogue to triggered dialogue that goes away after the player interacts with it.

Obscure Safe House: This is a good map design with excellent story dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider changing the optional dialogue to triggered dialogue that goes away after the player interacts with it.

Qo'noS, Federation Counterattack: This is a good map design with glorious battles and excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Qo'noS, First City Under Attack: This is a good map design with glorious battles and excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Qo'noS System, Under Attack: This is a good map design with glorious optional battles and excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Investigate the Anomaly in the Kahless Expanse, Again: This is a good map design with excellent story dialogue and I liked the "Back to the Future" style ending.

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a great job developing this mission and I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details. Also see Evil 70th's list of missions at "Evil 70th's Missions".
Captain
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 547
# 482
01-01-2013, 06:41 PM
Thanks again for those catches! I always enjoy your input!
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,510
# 483
01-01-2013, 08:04 PM
Hey a bit late (holidays and stuff) but thanks for the other review!

Check out my Foundry missions:
Standalone - The Great Escape - The Galaxy's Fair - Purity I: Of Denial - Return to Oblivion
The Defenders - Duritanium Man - The Improbable Bulk - [WIP] Commander Rihan
Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 785
# 484
01-01-2013, 10:39 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by designationxr377 View Post
Thanks again for those catches! I always enjoy your input!
As always I am glad I could help. Have a great New Year!!!

Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details. Also see Evil 70th's list of missions at "Evil 70th's Missions".
Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 785
# 485
01-01-2013, 10:40 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by zorbane View Post
Hey a bit late (holidays and stuff) but thanks for the other review!
I understand the holiday stuff. I was quite deeply involved in family functions through the holidays. Now back to work in the morning. Glad I could help, as always. Have a great New Year!!!

Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details. Also see Evil 70th's list of missions at "Evil 70th's Missions".
Empire Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 2,202
# 486
01-04-2013, 01:51 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by evil70th View Post
Klingon Mission - Gunboat diplomacy
snip
Thanks a lot, as usual. There were details i missed during my testing!
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 1,203
# 487
01-05-2013, 10:23 AM
Mission: Finding Lascaux (1/2)
Author: gulberat
Level: 31+
Allegiance: Federation
Estimated Mission Length:60 min.
Method of Delivery: Forum Post

Description: Though some now serve capably as Starfleet officers, mystery surrounds the Pakleds and how they came to be found drifting nearly helpless amongst the stars capable of seemingly little, yet alive.

The Federation and Cardassians have tasked you with finding the remnants of their history--and bringing the interveners to account.

------------

This is a story-oriented mission with a bit of space combat. Please note that I am very new to the Foundry and still not sure of a lot of its mechanics. Also, if you spot a typo, please let me know where! Thanks!
Christian Gaming Community Fleets--Faith, Fun, and Fellowship! See the website and PM me for more. :-)


Sig by gulberat. Avatar credit to balsavor.deviantart.com
Lieutenant
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 54
# 488
01-06-2013, 03:16 PM
I have an existing mission that is up for the Foundry Spotlight, however once you publish a spotlight mission you are unable to make any further changes.

So I'm hoping for a good pair of eyes to help locate typos, bugs, and other weak spots before I give my mission the grand final post.



Mission: Krios Falling
Author: Alien_de_jour
Level: 31+
Allegiance: Klingon
Estimated Mission Length: 1 hr (Full Dialog Tree Exploration may yield different results)
Method of Delivery: Forum Post

When the Klingon Empire abandoned Krios in 2368 the last Klingon governor declared that his house would one day return and retake the planet. General Kern wants you to help him fulfill his father's final vow.
Ensign
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 9
# 489
01-06-2013, 06:59 PM
Mission Name: The Red Dawn
Author: Website: Rharkul In game: Cythas@Zacs
Minimum Level: 41+
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HBPB28T3E
Estimated Mission Length: Thirty to Forty minutes.
Method of Report Delivery: In Game mail, please.
Description: Heavy Space Combat. Mild Dialog. Minimal Ground Combat.
Current Foundry Project: The Red Dawn
Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 785
# 490
01-08-2013, 05:10 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by gulberat View Post
Mission: Finding Lascaux (1/2)
Author: gulberat
Level: 31+
Allegiance: Federation
Estimated Mission Length:60 min.
Method of Delivery: Forum Post

Description: Though some now serve capably as Starfleet officers, mystery surrounds the Pakleds and how they came to be found drifting nearly helpless amongst the stars capable of seemingly little, yet alive.

The Federation and Cardassians have tasked you with finding the remnants of their history--and bringing the interveners to account.

------------

This is a story-oriented mission with a bit of space combat. Please note that I am very new to the Foundry and still not sure of a lot of its mechanics. Also, if you spot a typo, please let me know where! Thanks!
Hi gulberat,

Welcome to the Foundry. You are number 1 in the queue. Work is picking up again, but I hope to get back into the queue this weekend.

Thanks for authoring,
Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details. Also see Evil 70th's list of missions at "Evil 70th's Missions".
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