Rihannsu
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 13,137
Mission Title: Diplomacy in the Gamma Quadrant
Player @Handle: @Marhawkman
Faction: Klingon
Level Requirement: 35+
Mission Summary: Orions are not the best warriors but they are skilled traders. Melani Di'an has convinced the high council that it is time to attempt to open trade negotiations with an old enemy. The task the High Council has given you is to make contact so that the negotiations can actually begin.

So, this thread is for questions and comments about my mission for the current challenge.
HAIL HYDRA!

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I can haz joystick!
MMOs aren't charities. Corporations are supposed to make a profit. It's what they do.
Rihannsu
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 13,137
# 2
12-20-2012, 07:54 AM
Hmm.. found a major issue and will have to republish....
HAIL HYDRA!

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
I can haz joystick!
MMOs aren't charities. Corporations are supposed to make a profit. It's what they do.
Rihannsu
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 13,137
# 3
12-20-2012, 09:08 AM
I think it's fixed now.
HAIL HYDRA!

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
I can haz joystick!
MMOs aren't charities. Corporations are supposed to make a profit. It's what they do.
Rihannsu
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 13,137
# 4
12-25-2012, 08:54 PM
Hmm.. 5 written reviews, 3 out of 5 mentioned that if felt like it was leading up to something... Hmm... interesting.

Well, I suppose the chosen story lends itself to that. It's about starting a new series of peaceful negotiations with the Dominion. Hmm... Maybe add a scene where you report back to the High Council?
HAIL HYDRA!

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
I can haz joystick!
MMOs aren't charities. Corporations are supposed to make a profit. It's what they do.
Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 793
Quote:
Originally Posted by markhawkman View Post
Looks like you have a long list, but here's another one:

Mission Title: Diplomacy in the Gamma Quadrant
Player @Handle: @Marhawkman
Faction: Klingon
Level Requirement: 35+
Mission Summary: Orions are not the best warriors but they are skilled traders. Melani Di'an has convinced the high council that it is time to attempt to open trade negotiations with an old enemy. The task the High Council has given you is to make contact so that the negotiations can actually begin.

could you post here: http://sto-forum.perfectworld.com/sh...21#post7163921

PMs or posting here is fine too.
Klingon Mission - Diplomacy in the Gamma Quadrant
Author: Marhawkman
Allegiance: Klingon
Project ID: ST-HLIG3FL3F

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: The difficulty for me as an evaluator of Foundry challenge missions is that I do not know the specifics of the challenge. Without knowing the specific goals this mission was created for I found some of the tasks to be tedious. I also found some of the map designs a little confusing. Overall the map designs were well done and the story dialogue was interesting, although I felt the dialogue could be expanded in some areas. This would flesh out the story a little more. The battles on the "Zelatta System#2" map were glorious and a nice addition to the mission. I would recommend this mission, but you need to expand some of the details, and curtail some of the more tedious elements.

Below are a couple of things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

Mission Description: This is a good description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.

Grant Mission Dialogue: This is a good and simple grant dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

Mission Task: The follow on dialogue is well written, and gives the location to start the mission, but the location for the start of the first custom map should be included in the initial mission task. I noted no spelling errors with this task.

Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.

MAPS:
Zelatta System: This is a nice map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Zelatta Surface: This is a detailed map design with well written story dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Without knowing the specifics of the challenge I have to say, the run to the top of the ramp was tedious.
-The Elder appears to be the same NPC as Sella. Is this intentional?

Research Base: This is a detailed map design with well written story dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The base design was very detailed but on the previous map it said "Enter building". The next map is clearly outside so this was a little confusing.
-Without knowing the specifics of the challenge I have to say, running back and forth to find Jeyoun was tedious, especially for the little dialogue it produces at the end of the search.

Zelatta System#2: This is a good map design with several glorious battles. The story dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Rendevous Point: This is a nice simple map design with well written story dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider changing the map name "Rendevous Point" to read "Rendezvous Point".

ruins: This is a nice map design with well written story dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The "Scan" tasks have no accompanying dialogue following each one and do not make sense. Consider adding dialogue as each one is completed that indicates it is all clear or something along those lines.

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. Again, without knowing the specifics of the Foundry challenge I still enjoyed the mission and felt it had a lot more potential in the story. I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian

This critique report also filed 12/29/2012 on forum posting for: In depth mission reports upon request.
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details. Also see Evil 70th's list of missions at "Evil 70th's Missions".
Rihannsu
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 13,137
# 6
12-29-2012, 01:30 PM
Hmm... I guess I made too much of the story part of the optional dialogues. I was worried about that... But... I guess I was too optimistic there...
Quote:
-The Elder appears to be the same NPC as Sella. Is this intentional?
I'm guessing you didn't read the optional dialog with Loriss. The Elder is the cone shaped object that the ramp wraps around, I can't use it as a contact. Since you interact with the elder only verbally, I decided to use Sella's picture as a filler since you're standing next to her while you talk to the Elder. (The Zelaya are an inorganic race.)
Quote:
-The base design was very detailed but on the previous map it said "Enter building". The next map is clearly outside so this was a little confusing.
I was at one stage of design plannign to use building foundation blocks as a roof, but realized that if I did the mini map would show nothing else. So I decided to go with the idea that the sky was a holographic simulation. If you talk to Eyla she explains this.
Quote:
-The base design was very detailed but on the previous map it said "Enter building". The next map is clearly outside so this was a little confusing.
The idea was to give people a reason to run around and talk to the Vorta. I'm guessing you didn't talk to Enliss, Loto, or Voliss... They have interesting things to say.
Quote:
Consider changing the map name "Rendevous Point" to read "Rendezvous Point".
good idea.
Quote:
-The "Scan" tasks have no accompanying dialogue following each one and do not make sense.
I thought I put in a dialog... You're doing a security sweep to verify that the place is safe for the Orion Negotiator to beam down.

So you didn't fight Enliss? Aw... it's kinda fun. (to fight Enliss either attempt to bypass her security field protecting the reactor in the research base, or on the ruins map just walk to the west of the spot where Loriss is standing.) BTW I reskinned a Reman captain for Enliss so.... it's not an easy fight.... Especially since the one I used likes to create telekinetic dopplegangers.

thanks for the review! I definately got some good ideas for how to improve the mission already.
HAIL HYDRA!

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
I can haz joystick!
MMOs aren't charities. Corporations are supposed to make a profit. It's what they do.
Rihannsu
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 13,137
# 7
01-16-2013, 01:34 PM
Hmm... I probably should have posted this earlier, but enh...

Hidden stuff: (most of it not very well hidden)
Zellata ground: you get a lot of historical information if you talk to Loriss, mostly about the planet you're on.

research lab:
Each of the Vorta NPCs has something to say, some of it is boring though. the most interesting ones are Enliss, Loto, and Voliss. But you have to talk to Loto and Voliss after you talk to Enliss to get them to talk about Enliss.
The other hidden stuff is related to the base reactor. It's protected by a security forcefield, if you try to bypass the field to get in, Enliss will try to beat you senseless. If you do NOT do that, you can talk to Jeyoun after you find him. Then you can go inside the field and get a closer look at the reactor.

ruins: there's two hidden bits here: there's a vorta standing on a half-submerged part of the ruins, and if you look around near some aquatic plants you will find a fish you can interact with.
HAIL HYDRA!

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
I can haz joystick!
MMOs aren't charities. Corporations are supposed to make a profit. It's what they do.
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