Cool. I'll answer it tonight after work.

I forgot to say...

Yes, that would be a pretty funny conversation

I amended my entry on page 1 with a little more. There were much better entries than my own but I'm pleased with the outcome.

Thoughts?

@conras1 - Welcome to the Literary Challenge! I am not much of a grammar-nazi (unless I see a double-negative >:\ ), but I want to provide a little help in spelling ...

Choclate = chocolate

Subblemental = supplemental

See you in other Challenges!

I really enjoyed it, and thought it was really atmospheric Not long till LC #37

[Edit to add]
Likewise, any feedback on mine would be much appreciated

Indeed! "Zdrastvuyte, Worf!"

Worf (glowers): "I beg your pardon, Captain?"

"Um...never mind..."

Oh, and here's Alyosha's human form.

http://i50.tinypic.com/s16ssz.jpg

His hair should be a bit messier than that (sometimes he doesn't pay attention to it), but within the limits of the character creator, this gets the general idea across.



Cmdrscarlet--I definitely enjoyed your entry! I must say, Harrington is fortunate his captain was disposed to consider his usefulness and not write him up for his pranks. Though one wonders if he might still get a few unpleasant details as a result... Oh, and I must also commend you for your narrative pacing in the log-entry portion of the challenge. Some characters are natural storytellers; others aren't. Yours is, and I could imagine her really telling that story. She would be very engaging to listen to in person, one imagines.

It's too bad my ship doesn't have a deck 13...

I'll bet there are still ways you could write. What if someone from your crew transferred? What if they docked somewhere, such as a space station, that had a Deck 13? There's still time to enter...so why not?

Easy enough to get around, old chum. Harken unto the following list of alternative narrative ingredients taken from Ambigue's Commonplace Book:

1) Adventurous crewmen load an ancient holodeck program called Deck 13. Contains cyclopean ruins from the dawn of time.

2) Starfleet hounds notorious occultist Deckard Thirteen. Desperate, he opens a grim tome penned in ancient times by a mad Romulan.

3) After a transporter mishap, a brave Starfleet Crewman can see his ship mates, but they cannot see him. He descends into madness until salvation is found on deck 13 of a nearby starbase...and is lost when a tribble interrupts the arcane technological ritual that would have restored him to life.

4) Savage fish-men boil out of access conduits and jeffries tubes, their demoniac ululations capable of reducing a man's mind to jelly. Ship's computers rendered inchoate by the ravening fish-men, a terrified starfleet crew consult a ouija board and discover that the fish-men are coming from a sub-dimensional horrorscape that the ship thinks is a non-existent 13th deck.

5) When a many-tentacled god-thing from beyond space and time accosts the ship, the crew must venture into the mouldering, forgotten ruins of Deck 13 to recover the tome that can banish it.

6) The crew erects a wooden patio complete with railings and barbecue grill on the top of the ship. They jokingly call it Deck 13. When "partying" in EV suits, one of the crew sees an eagle with a top-hat soaring in the depths of space. He goes immediately and irrevocably insane.

Just some ideas.

And I see no less than 4 possible references to the Cthulhu Mythos in there. O_o


I got Alyosha's Devidian form drawn. It's mostly based on the Visitor "template," though I mixed in a few Eidolon features for the sake of individual variation.

I kind of messed up in positioning the drawing on the paper as I started. I would've been fine if drawing a human-proportioned character, but should've moved up further to accommodate the elongated Devidian proportions. Then again, at least that spared me from having to do a lot of detail in drawing feet, which I am awful at.

That said...I'm not going with the rather ridiculous heights seen in the actual game for Devidians, unless it is possibly explained as a matter of shapeshifting. So I would put Alyosha's true height at 6'3" at the most. (In human form, he is a shorter and stockier 5'9".)

Human form: http://i50.tinypic.com/s16ssz.jpg
Devidian form: http://tinypic.com/r/j6ik2h/6

In this case...it's definitely a mistake to judge a book by its cover.

(Further irony: to the Devidians he is incredibly unnerving because even in his natural form his mannerisms read as "human" and completely off-kilter by their standards.)

It's a short homage to HP Lovecraft's own Commonplace Book.