Rihannsu
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 216
# 51
01-24-2013, 07:18 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by marcusdkane View Post
Although it's not quite long enough, starting In the House in a Heartbeat by John Murphy when Kane and Palmer are first called to the bridge gives a fairly appropriate soundtrack till the point where he meets his counterpart Any other feedback you may have on the entry would be much appreciated Did it work, or did it just drag?
Honestly? Your entry was just plain awesome. Brilliantly executed, nothing dragged, and everything felt appropriate. I get the feeling that when S'rR's finds out what happened to Marcus, heads will be rolling in the Mirror universe.
Vice Admiral Bryan Mitchel Valot
Commanding officer: Odyssey class U.S.S. Athena
Admiral of the 1st Assault Fleet
Join date: Some time in Closed Beta
Ensign
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 22
# 52
01-24-2013, 07:33 PM
The drabble that's been posted has been great (drabble is jargon for super short stories). I won't critic as I tend to be too critical of writing, but I do like the plots I'm reading. Good job to everyone.
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3,236
# 53
01-25-2013, 03:19 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by gulberat View Post
Unfortunately I'm even more sure I won't be entering this week's challenge. Contemplating Mirror!Alyosha is just horrible, on so many levels. He's either a tool of Mirror Starfleet Command's--a horrible thing to unleash upon enemies, an assassin or torturer--or he's with the Devidians, in just as terrible of a state. And after what Alyosha went through in the last entry...I'm neither willing to put him through that nor do I feel up to writing it.
I totally understand where you're coming from, and respect your choice to not participate, but feel obliged to offer this question:
But are those the only options?
While working out what to write, I had to work out how Mirror Marcus could/would be different from Prime Marcus. As mentioned in Shevet's entry, MU doesn't necessarily have to be good = evil, so I contemplated the MU as seen in DS-9: Similar levels of technology, similar personal connections, but no recognizable 'starfleet'. I figured that without a Starfleet to enter, Marcus would not have been put in the situation to bring about his immortal re-awakening, he would still have come from a prestigious family, but how would such a family maintain its fortune in such times? 'War profiteer' is an easy slide from 'weapons designer', but would still utilize Marcus' talents for engineering, and after that, it was simple to flip names to reinforce the differences, switch selflessness for selfishness, and transition the relationship between him and Palmer from one of a supportive mentor, to the distance of employer and employee...
As above, totally understand why you may choose not to participate in this LC (I really was very close to passing myself) but just wanted to show some alternates beyond the simple good/evil flip you understandably wish to avoid
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3,236
# 54
01-25-2013, 03:22 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by superhombre777 View Post
Well by now hopefully you have fallen for the peer pressure and started writing. Anyone who can point out the subtle difference between shuttle and runabout nomenclature should be able to write a decent short story. (Now I have to figure out why Captain Carter bucks the system - that should be easy. Rivers are boring!)

Thanks to the others who made suggestions. Now I'm certain that the third runabout can't be named after a human. Maybe it'll be named after the Andorian who invented chroniton mines...or the Vulcan who created an injection to help fellow Vulcans withstand the hideous smell of humans.
I just had another thought in addition to Museveni... How about Kumari? A ship's name with considerable historical relevance to the Andorian people
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3,236
# 55
01-25-2013, 03:26 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ironphoenix113 View Post
Honestly? Your entry was just plain awesome. Brilliantly executed, nothing dragged, and everything felt appropriate. I get the feeling that when S'rR's finds out what happened to Marcus, heads will be rolling in the Mirror universe.
Thanks, I'm glad it didn't drag, I just couldn't shake the feeling while I was writing... Not too sure how S'rR's might react to this (or if a future LC will allow for the opportunity to explore that...) but one thing's for sure, Marcus will not be getting 're-started', as sci-fi immortals often can, he is as dead as the proverbial door-nail I just hope the description of the Renovatio was identifiable as to its inspiration
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3,236
# 56
01-25-2013, 03:28 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by lordrelentless View Post
The drabble that's been posted has been great (drabble is jargon for super short stories). I won't critic as I tend to be too critical of writing, but I do like the plots I'm reading. Good job to everyone.
I've never heard the term drabble before, but I like it :good:
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 578
# 57
01-25-2013, 03:59 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by gulberat View Post
Unfortunately I'm even more sure I won't be entering this week's challenge. Contemplating Mirror!Alyosha is just horrible, on so many levels. He's either a tool of Mirror Starfleet Command's--a horrible thing to unleash upon enemies, an assassin or torturer--or he's with the Devidians, in just as terrible of a state. And after what Alyosha went through in the last entry...I'm neither willing to put him through that nor do I feel up to writing it.
I think an interesting question, though, might be: what are the mirror Devidians like? Perhaps they're a force for good in the Mirror Universe! Angels rather than spectres... Or perhaps their abilities work in some unexpectedly different way.... Just tossing out some ideas!

Personally, I am a great believer in giving my characters a hard time. One of my literary role models is Alistair Maclean, who was very definitely of the same opinion. The protagonist of The Satan Bug, for instance, is gassed, half-blinded, and has his foot run over by a tank... and this is before the book even starts; when he reaches chapter one, he has real problems to contend with. Something to aim for, I think.
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3,236
# 58
01-25-2013, 04:50 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by shevet View Post
I think an interesting question, though, might be: what are the mirror Devidians like? Perhaps they're a force for good in the Mirror Universe! Angels rather than spectres... Or perhaps their abilities work in some unexpectedly different way.... Just tossing out some ideas!
YESSS!!!!
Captain
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 2,191
# 59
01-25-2013, 06:52 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by shevet View Post
Personally, I am a great believer in giving my characters a hard time.
Thank you for posting this because when I read it I suddenly realized that this is exactly what I have been doing to Kathryn: that everyone is trying to counter her thoughts, words and actions at every turn! And yet, she overcomes.

@ everyone - I'm still catching up to the stories while trying to stay on top of the discussion so forgive me if I have not offered any suggestions or joined in the conversation of creation. But what I have read so far has been just fun
Kathryn S. Beringer - The Dawn Patrol

Solaris build - Veritatum Liquido Cernene
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 1,085
# 60
01-25-2013, 10:22 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by marcusdkane View Post
As above, totally understand why you may choose not to participate in this LC (I really was very close to passing myself) but just wanted to show some alternates beyond the simple good/evil flip you understandably wish to avoid
The difficulty comes in thus: if he's a foundling in the MU, then just as on Earth he will at first be brought into a lab environment. In the STO universe he was blessed in that the scientists actually cared for him--including after the accidental death of one of their colleagues--and I think after a certain amount of time, he was able to enter a more family-like environment. I even think he may have been taken in by one of their families--perhaps a couple that could not or had chosen before that not to have children. They recognized his rights as a sentient being and eventually gave him a real home and the chance to find himself as a person.

In the MU we do seem to see a Starfleet of sorts--the Terrans seem to have defeated the Klingon-Cardassian Alliance and re-formed their Empire. So I see them finding him and weaponizing him once they see what he can do: literally raising him from infancy to be their tool, since they would have pretty much absolute power over his upbringing. That's why I feel that if found on Earth, such a fate woud be nearly inescapable.
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